back to article Brit troops release badger plague on Basra

British forces in the lively Iraqi city of Basra are denying claims they are responsible for a "plague" of "vicious badger-like creatures which have attacked livestock - and even humans", the Telegraph reports. Shaken locals have recounted chilling tales of rampant "ratels" - feared desert carnivores who normally dine on …

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  1. Lickass McClippers

    Honey Badgers...

    ...are awesome..!!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ratel

    "In one case, shown on an episode of Animal Planet, an old female honey badger that was nearly toothless and had one blind eye was attacked by a leopard. It took the leopard about one hour to kill the honey badger."

    Don't mess with honey badgers, they'll go fer yer nut-sac first, and maybe ask questions later...

  2. chuckufarley Silver badge

    We don't need no stinking badgers!

    http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

  3. David Blair

    Wizards coming soon.

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/06/21

  4. Simon Painter

    Life/Art parody thing...

    http://newsbiscuit.com/article/badgers-to-be-sent-to-iraq-134

  5. Greg Nelson

    Badgers Are Bad Asses

    Badgers are members of the weasel family and are natural born killers with a bad attitude. In Canada, on the prairie, badgers dig out ground squirrels and leave large excavations that are used as dens by many species. Their hide is infamously tough. The weasel is a voracious killer that can decimate a chicken coop in short order. Another no count family member, the wolverine, is legendary as a ferocious killer. My experience with badgers and weasels suggests they shy from human contact. These animals tend to be nose driven and if they're showing up in settled areas where there's recently been fire fights then it's not unlikely that the smells are attracting them. Maybe there was some collateral hits on live stock that weren't quickly cleaned up.

  6. BossHog

    To paraphrase Boris Johnson:

    Basra badgers Basra badgers badger badger Basra badgers.

  7. Hooch181

    Huzzah!

    Take that insurgents, lol!

  8. Morely Dotes

    An entirely new meaning...

    ...to the name "Predator" on so-called drone aircraft. Want to bet they aren't being piloted by, or at least delivering, badgers?

    One can hardly wait to see Iraqi religious militia whackos polymorphed by Alliance wizards into sheep, turtles, and pigs, and then decimated by the crack badger commando troopers.

  9. Phillistine

    Blessing in disguise

    Let's suppose one traps a badger instead of killing it using a bullet, and then kills it using the bleeding instead of hacking to death technique, would that be then 'halal' or 'kosher' meat ?

    Considering the state of economy out there, couldn't they provide a great source of meat, and hence protein ?

    Badger Kabobs anyone ?

  10. Adrian Esdaile

    Is it really Badgers?

    "I saw it at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece."

    That sounds a lot like a Chupacabra to me. Lock up yer goats!

    Oh, my; what has DARPA been doing!

    They gone and crossed Badger and Chupacabra DNA, and are delivering them by robot-stealth Predators!

  11. heystoopid

    Environment

    For these night predators to operate so close to human settlement the local environment must be a truly screwed up mess and the usual civil services like fresh water , garbage and sewage must have been totally destroyed in the on going American inspired and funded civil ethnic cleansing war! , and the daily blow up a section of oil pipe a day , to keep your job, must be contributing to truly nightmarish heavily polluted environment in the many rural areas!

    So who destroyed the Badger's local environment or tossed live grenades down badger holes as bored soldiers have been known to do, forcing the beasties in question to move on to a newer safer fresher food rich environment!

  12. chris

    badger busting bomb?

    could this be more r & d by the military?...last heard was badger em....badger them all...muh...muhahahah

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