
I'm sure there are many good points there, but you bury them in irrelevancies that undermine your case:
"5) lack of localisation. This is done in OOo on a voluntary and completely random development basis - unless you are happy to stick with enUS, which surprisingly, a lot of people in the world don't find to be their mother tongue."
It's trivial to install the UK dictionary and thesaurus on OO. (And now there's File->Wizards->Install new dictionaries.) How is MS' offering any better? And MS is hardly a shining example of a proponent of localisation - is there anything in Windows specific to the UK beyond the keyboard layout?
"7) it's slow to load. I work with deadlines. 'Nuff said."
No, not really. If your deadlines are so tight that you miss them because of the loading time of OpenOffice, then you really ought to re-think how you work! The loading time is a facile criticism, which is so often trotted out that it annoyed me enough to write this reply - it's obvious, but it's of very little consequence. After all, how often do you load OpenOffice each day? On my laptop, it's far less than once - I put the machine to sleep or hibernate it, and OO is still there when it wakes up. What is of consequence is the general performance, and I gather that OO works rather well with large files, where you'd notice it. Do correct me if I'm wrong - I don't have first-hand experience of this.
In addition:
"never mind (sometimes major) changes to the UI and core system."
So Office 2007, with its "ribbon" GUI and its completely new file formats, is not a major change to the UI and core system? MS would want you to think it is in order to get to to shell out on an "upgrade"!
"lack of features. Sure there's a way around them, but I don't want to spend ages doing the 'way around' when I have a one- or two-click solution in MS Office."
Now this I really am interested in. Some specifics, please. Everyone is keen to latch on to things that MS Office does that OO doesn't, but then find that these are feature bloat which they don't actually use. It just gives them a warm feeling that they are there. And one important thing that OO does that MS is (deliberately) missing is, of course, PDF creation.
"Exporting and format of exports is sadly not very good between OOo and, well, anything else."
No, OO is actually much more compatible with a lot more other things than MS Office is, because it uses ODF. There are many vendors that support ODF, and, erm, one that fully supports MS formats. (And because MS file formats are not open - no, not even the new ones - the situation is unlikely to improve.) I guess what you meant to say was that OO is not very compatible with most of the installed base of office suites, and that, of course, is MS' USP and its business model.
"change auditing. Due to the nature of my industry, I need these sort of collaboration tools which OOo just doesn't provide."
Edit->Changes. Am I misunderstanding you here?
"I'm not paying for reliable, helpful customer support. I have no assurances that my problems will be dealt with."
How much better is the situation with MS Office? Have you made bug reports and feature requests and found them solved in a timely manner?
"While OOo/the open source movement in general is a wonderful thing, please don't fall into the bad habit of Linux and Apple fanbois and do cut-and-paste rants."
In return, I'd ask you to be more specific and not to sprinkle irrelevancies about!