Channel Register

Scepticism over cyber-jihad rumours

jeremy

mandatory. 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 17:21 GMT

Coat

I know a few shiite websites that could do with an attack...

IGMC.

Andrew

72 virgins? 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 17:21 GMT

I guess they'll be offered some sort of electronic equivalent - perpetual membership of 72 premium adult sites instead?

Rob

Virtual Martyrs 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 17:22 GMT

so what are you saying, they have to top themselves afterwards... I think there'd be a slight reduction in virgins for this act, cause it's not really full blown Martyrdom.

Ross

-.- <-- scared face 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 17:22 GMT

An impenetrable email network eh? Maybe they got it from Lord Goldsmith...

Anonymous Coward

More likely 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 17:22 GMT

Black Helicopters

... the powers that be are trying to distribute an Anti-Jihaadi Trojan to their PCs...

It may work as described on the box, but it will probably add a Trojan key-logger of some kind to track the future activities of the Islamist morons that think they are participating in some "Great-Jihaad" (TM)(C) against "the Evil Imperialist Zionist Scum" (TM)(C)...

Anonymous Coward

Retaliation 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 17:22 GMT

Coat

Perhaps one of our Ruskie "friends" would lend us a botnet or 6 to take out Al-Queda before they get to us?

It'd make a good story: 100 MILLION TROJAN FILLED XP BOXES CRASH OSAMA!

Tawakalna

somehow.. 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 17:22 GMT

Black Helicopters

..this latest scaremongering tactic from the makers of the "War on Freedom" hasn't exactly got me worried.

now, should I be more afraid of the black helicopters or of tac-plod death squads?

Matt Bryant

Doh! 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 17:22 GMT

Happy

I'd laugh if all those wannabe Jihadis end up downloading some Russian zombieware that turns their PCs into "filthy decadent infidel" pr0n servers!

Sceptical Bastard

Rule 8 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 18:42 GMT

Coat

I'm all for attacking shite websites.

Oh, you said *shi-ite"!

Mine's that explosive vest next to the brown overcoat. Taxi!

Stu

Virtual Martyrs can only get... 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 19:37 GMT

Coat

virtual virgins. Okay, they're *virtually* virgins!

Just remember: If you ain't Muslim, you ain't Shi-ite!

I'm outta here!

Ross

Uh-oh, Goose is down! 

Posted Friday 2nd November 2007 21:39 GMT

Awww, in an ironic twist it appears al-jinan.org is down :o( I guess the thousands of would be cyber Jihadis saturated its pipes trying to get a hold of the software.

(Actually it's failting to resolve but that's not as funny)

Stan

have to get a copy of that 

Posted Saturday 3rd November 2007 17:34 GMT

hope they do a linux console version, beats the crap out of rm -rf :)

Jon Tocker

VirtualMartyr(TM) 

Posted Sunday 4th November 2007 20:58 GMT

Coat

(snailmail)

Dear Cyber-Jihadi

It has come to our attention that your machine was targetted by the filthy decadent infidels' counter-jihad software and your system was infected with a BIOS-destroying virus that has turned your glorious Jihad-PC into a door-stop.

You are now officially listed as a VirtualMartyr in the Virtual Jihad. Please find enclosed photos of 72 Virgins* for your virtual paradise.

If you ever get another functional computer you are welcome to join our ranks again.

Praise be to Allah.

* Actually it's 6 years worth of Playboy calendars.