'Live Live(TM)'

How clever is that. If they don't come up with that one for $300m i'll feel let down.

Live search. Like the name says, it takes as long to get a good result as if you, a live being, were searching by hand!

Since when did you stop referring to M$ as The Beast. This over sight is unsettling, we should never forget who the enemy is.

Microsoft Live...

[a] We're not dead yet! (a la Python)

[b] Not as bad as you heard.

[c] Quite useable, really.

[d] A compelling solution for...forrr...ummm...

[e] Like almost using Office!

[f] You have to admire our nerve for pushing this stuff...

[g] Exciting product with a name more accurate than "Works".

[h] We take your money more slowly (giant sucking noise now a pinhole leak).

To paraphrase Karen Dunbar -

"Windows LIve - Its the Best We Can Do"

Sums it up for me

"Windows Live Services - now the Internet can be just as f***ed up as your PC."

or

"Windows Live Services - trying to flog the pointless to the clueless."

or

"Windows Live Services - finding innovative new ways to miss the Internet boat all over again."

or

"Windows Live Services - all your shit are belong to us."

or

"Windows Live Services - too incompetent to do any evil."

or I'll get me coat shall I?

Here are some exciting slogans:

"Microsoft Live Services - better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick"

"Microsoft Live Services - live today, pay tomorrow"

"Microsoft Live Services - not dead services"

"Don't give me no jive, give me Microsoft Live!"

"Microsoft Live, so good you'll want five!"

"Man alive, it's Microsoft Live!"

"When you're micro and soft and half-alive, jazz up your life with Microsoft Live!"

Microsoft Live and let die.

Or the chair gets it!

even for three million can't think of a thing.

How about ...

"Just use us. You know we will destroy the competition anyway so you might as well."

or better still:

"Microsoft Paris Hilton Gets Her Tits Out Live".

Yoof version:

Microsoft Live Services - It sort of, y'know, "does stuff"

What PR thinks is yoof:

Microsoft Live Services - How Cool is That?[TM]

Realistic version:

Microsoft Live Services - Like Google, but from Microsoft!

My opinion version:

Microsoft Live Services - Who gives a shit!

Should have called it something catchy and hidden the branding like find.com, iwant.com or gimmie.com

then the video marketing campaign of a man in front of a screen with the site open, cursor blinking in the search box.

thinking of all the possibilities the web has to offer he finally types ... 'porn'

his little face lights up as the results come back and the tag line reads

'we know what you really want today'

Microsoft Live: Now please restart the internet to complete the installation.

They'll suck you in with happy spin

Website photos of smiling bozos

New Windows toy will bring you joy

You can share, connect anywhere

But under the surface, it's just worthless

Think about it, something's funny, Billy Gates must want more money

He'll be happy when you're tied in, then Windows Live starts slowly dying

Then you pay the upgrade cost, cough up dollars to Micro$oft

It doesn't work, you'll look a jerk

It's useless crap, for stupid saps

Don't use this trash, you'll lose your cash

Computer virus, our boss'll fire us

Windows Live, you're better off dead

How about:

Windows Live - It may be difficult to use, but at least it's slow.

:)

Windows Live - More Porn for Windows Users!

live, fashion victim 2.0

Live, the comedy version of your desktop apps now appearing at weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs!

Windows Live, when AOL isn't sufficiently useless!

Windows Live - it's what your PC has been waiting for.

(Literally.. ever since we installed a sneaky trojan on your machine during a Windows Update last year, a clock has been ticking. We = teh sneakeh)

Windows Live - Get it before we install it on your machine anyway as an upgrade.

Windows Live - now with added Facebook.

Windows Live - how do you use yours?

Windows Live - better than Windows Dead.

Windows Live - we spent $300m advertising this, ogle the models and buy into the spin or the next $300m we spend might have to go on actually producing a decent product.

"Windows Live. It's crap, you don't want it, but it's bundled with the O/S and YOU CAN'T TURN IT OFF!!!!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"

"Windows Live. We didn't really want to make this, but Intel give us a shed-load of cash to come up with things to sell faster CPUs."

"The Internet. Some people think it could be safer. Some people think it could be better presented. Some people think that it could be easier to find what you want. We agree. But we only had fourpence and twentyfive minutes to spare. Windows Live."

... But that makes us a Breath of Fresh Air"

Honesty in advertising?

I doubt it!

Windows live - crapping in the hand that feeds IT.

Windows live - now you can wipe with both hands.

Windows live - Lets shake on it.

Windows live - I promise I won't cum in your mouth.

Windows Evil - deals with typos

Resistance is futile, you WILL be assimilated (Win XP and 2000 only. Vista support soon(ish). Win 98 not supported. iMicrosoft iLive ifor iMac iavailable ivia iTunes. *nix version carefully compiled to cause kernel panic in 100% of *nix and Linux variants.)

No warranty supplied or implied. Unauthorised copying will result in demonic possession of your children (Effects of this are not apparent in teenagers)

Windows Undead is here (and as soon as SP1 arrives it might even work)

You must restart your computer to complete the downloading of your search results

M$ Live - The Interweb Searches You.

M$ Live - Because we will break everything else.

M$ Live - Extending the WORD.DOC monopoly again.

M$ Live - Because "Good Enough" is what we say it is.

Windows Live - When someone sends you a message you can view it without having to install some stupid application to your page first, allowing third parties access to your private data, which you can't delete

Windows Live - Might look boring but it does work

Windows Live - Hey at least it's not Apple

Windows Live - We only use your information internally unlike other services we could mention

Windows Live - Be Different, everyones on those other sites

Windows Live - No ones ever been invited to be turned into a zombie on live

Windows Live - Unless your a Mac user, you'll find the apps / interface really easy to use, if you are a Mac user look over there, it's shiney, look at it sparkle, pretty

Windows Live - Has anyone actually tried using it?

Windows Live - Allows grandma to see photos of their grandchildren

Windows Live - For people with real friends who don't need to have 200+ fake online pals to play with

Windows Live - It's like Radio 2, all the services you used to get from that trendy Radio 1 place, but for grown ups