back to article Talking to themselves - how uk.gov 'consults' on IT exports

The story so far - on Friday 7th December, Lord Digby Jones announced a joint venture industry and government strategy to market the UK Information Communication Technology (ICT) sector to the world. On closer inspection, this turned out to be an outline marketing strategy open to consultation = allegedly. Contributing to the …

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  1. Dave
    Paris Hilton

    more amusement value

    UK Trade Invest have apparently done a lot of market sector surveys. The jokes are near endless on the 'automotive' sector page here:

    http://tinyurl.com/2yxxmk

    Seems we have good opportunities to sell cars to China, Poland, Czech, Hungary &c - erm...

    aren't these the places that are making the cars we buy???

    UKTI have completely and utterly failed to assess the UK's ability to generate Paris Hilton related foreign exchange, a national disgrace

  2. Mark

    "the UK can earn export bucks"

    Well, yes we can. We can pay US companies to fail to deliver any IT product and they will require payment in US dollars. Therefore we will be exporting bucks.

    They weren't lying.

    For a given value of "lying"...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    In Full

    "`...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.'

    `But the plans were on display...'

    `On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.'

    `That's the display department.'

    `With a torch.'

    `Ah, well the lights had probably gone.'

    `So had the stairs.'

    `But look you found the notice didn't you?'

    `Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".'"

  4. Slaine
    Flame

    where do I start

    ... actually, I'd better not start because I'll just be consigning this message to that growing pile of input that doesn't make it bast the black helicopters.

    ... however, in conclusion it is difficult to miss the very simple fact that we are now being controlled, governed and groomed by an entire legion of individuals who detest education and good health care for the masses and who, collectively, amount to: nothing more intelligent than Ms Hilton's left nipple; nothing remotely close to a Dalek's charm; less likelihood to serve a just jail term for the crimes they commit in broad daylight than I am likely to spend a furtive night with Kylie; and, perhaps most telling of all, the business sense of pebble, the memory of a fart and the common sense of Britney Spears. Happy New Year everyone.

  5. frank denton
    Unhappy

    An old story..

    Piss up ---- Brewery----

    Does this ring a bell?

  6. Charley

    A good place to start.

    Got to the first "Here" link in the story. Open the link. Click on "[Icon: Blue Arrow pointing right] A press release ". When your browser decides it has no idea what sort of file you're trying to open download it. Add a .doc or .odt to it. Open in your favourite word processor. Scroll to the end. (Where it says " It is also available on the internet at www.ictmarketingstrategy.co.uk ") Open link. Suprise.

    How many times has this "typo" happened??

    BTW, still no reply to my registration attempt either.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    What UK Gov IT?

    As a former Civil servant sold to the highest bidder in the MoD DII(F) debacle and now facing redundancy I'd like to know exactly where these government IT initiatives are coming from. None of them seem to end up benefiting anyone except the usual suspects (EDS, Fujitsu, Cap Gemini) financially, certainly not the taxpayer. He/she ends up with a system that costs often twice its original cost projection, leaks data like a sieve, exports jobs overseas and worst of all, doesn't work. Six months later the NAO starts screaming about the cost, various Parliamentary committees start pointing fingers and maybe EDS loses the contract and Cap Gemini picks it up (or vice versa). Meanwhile, the Civil Service loses more and more people with IT experience (ie, people who can make computers work, not bullshit about ITIL) until no-one remains to challenge the claims the contractors make. Does any of the noise the NAO and Parliament make result in a change of direction? No. Why?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Govt makes decisions

    based on who's contibuting to their party coffers. There is NO other way to explain EDS still getting business given that (IIRC) every single one of their "projects" for the govt has :

    a) failed to work;

    b) cost at least 150% more than budgeted for;

    c) still doesn't work to the design spec (worth pointing this out again I think)

  9. James Anderson
    Flame

    What IT industry?

    Really CPA/Gemini is owned by the French. Logica/CMG is half dutch. EDS, Accenture etc. etc are wholly USian. ICL is owned by the Japanese.

    Apart from some body shops and a few niche market specialists with no hope of any growth there is no UK IT industry.

    And why does our government insist on using the term ICT which is never used outside of whitehall and understood nowhere. Its as if they had an iniative for marketing Horseless Carraiges.

    Whats more unless they completely change the way small businesses are treated there will never again be a UK software industry.

    So in the end they are taking our taxes to promote an industy that does not and never will exist.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @James Anderson

    "Whats more unless they completely change the way small businesses are treated there will never again be a UK software industry."

    They have. They are going further. IR35 will seem like a pleasant dream compared to what they've cooked up in the aftermath of the Arctic Systems case.

    Justify yourself will be the name of the game for family businesses across the UK come April.

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