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back to article Uncovered: the lost humor of flowcharts

It's not easy to make software amusing, as a recent contest to crack jokes using Universal Modeling Language (UML) demonstrated. But flowcharting George Lucas' plan to kill off the Star Wars franchise? Now that's not just funny, it might also be true. A Cracked.com competition has invited geeks and practitioners to map out …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I must admit I do like the humble flowchart

    It actually forces tight code, but really it is replaced with pseudo code, then python once you have written a few flowcharts.

    I was forced to write flow charts for GCSE Computer Science, and that was probably one of the only good things I received from education, though of course very rare to write one commercially. Still, in a commercial setting they are quite good to get over a complex'ish idea to someone who would not respond to pseudo code.

    They tend to be done after the coding, by most coders, so their use in the design phase is a bit misleading - they are more useful in the documentation stage, to show users the flow of a process.

    But, really I suppose we all use a hybrid diagram process, the real trick is that people (non techs) respond better to imagery than text. Personally, I subscribe to show me the data tables / structures and I can work out how the program should flow.

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  2. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton

    Ha ! Ha!

    Ha ! Ha ! , it reminded me of a wanker with a Business Administration degree who could not read his own self created ones and his associates deliberately created false work flow timings to make it appear they actually worked in real time !

    The day it went live it fell over and died precisely five minutes later , as in reality he never knew fact from fantasy !

    The fall out was the pretender/wanker ran away to blighty land to work in a big UK Bank only to mess up again(foolish baby moron) , his associates were invited to leave quickly via the back door with a size 12 in the rear and then some two years later even his mentor in senior management was evicted to flee the self created mess and shambles to scupper off to head up the local gambling industry and put them on track to disaster !

    Talk about a bunch of clueless planks and idiots , years of schooling at university level and to this day not one in the whole group of these idiots is or was capable of reading or understanding flow charts of any description unlike PH !

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  3. Dave
    Heart

    Old Programming Tools

    What? You mean they don't still offer those programming templates? Yikes! I'd better make sure I hang on to mine.

    The next thing you know, you won't be able to get IBM General Purpose Card Punching/Data Recording Forms (GX20-8096) either. Nor will you be able to get IBM HIPO Worksheets (GX20-1970), And, what would we do without 150/10/6 Print Charts (GX20-1816), or IBM 3270 Information Display System Layout Sheets (GX27-2951). I'm going to keep all of mine locked up from now on!

    Dave

    P.S. I'll get my coat. It's the old foggey one.

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  4. awomanformVenus
    Flame

    Don't you dare make me older than I am !

    "Back in the 1960s, of course, IBM's handsome green flowcharting template was a prized tool that every programmer coveted."

    I started working for IBM in 1984 and they were in everyday use .

    Cheeky whippersnappers ! Don't know your born.

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  5. Clive Galway

    A genuinely funny flowchart

    http://xkcd.com/210/

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  6. david
    Gates Horns

    Still got my ibm template...

    ...the pale blue paper wallet is getting a bit tatty though.

    BG because he'd never think of producing something as useful and longlived...

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  7. Adam Buckland
    Coat

    Still got my...

    Oficial standard issue ICL one from 20 years ago when I worked at Kidsgrove on the DRS-300...

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  8. Steve B

    I'd forgotten all about the DRS!

    My best flowchart occupied an entire wall. When they wanted me to move offices I refused to leave until they sent a photographer to record the wall! The flow chart took a few weeks to get right but the program code only took a couple of days after that! Apparently I shaved 9 months off the standard implementation time.

    I think I must have a touch of the same as old whatsisname as I had completely forgotten about the DRS range.

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  9. Richard Kay
    Thumb Up

    Useful for student assessment

    I get second year programming students to flowchart algorithms for an assessment. It tells me pretty quickly whether they understand their own code or not. They are invited to use pseudo code as an alternative.

    In practice flowcharts and pseudocodes should stay small, each to describe a single module. I also don't expect programmers to continue using flowcharts once they understand how to design something, but when they are learning this it helps them focus on the logic behind what they are doing before trying to implement the logic in working detail.

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  10. Ishkandar

    Still used to this day.

    I/we still use flowcharts to chart the business needs *FIRST* before the system analysis starts. If the business needs are not charted and analysed properly, the resultant application(s) will be FUBAR as is shown by the various very expensive government IT F**kups !!

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Pah who needs computers and stuff

    Still using manual flowcharts, a slide rule and a rather nice mahogany sling hygrometer here - really ticks the youngsters off when I tell them the temp & humidity of the computer room in a single swing :D

    Mine's the one under the flat cap with the leather patches on the elbows

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