Channel Register

Microsoft goes retail with own shops

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Dave

Authentic Windows Experience 

On entering the store you have to wade through waist-deep treacle, so everything takes place at a slower speed than it really needs to. To keep yourself clean, you can buy something that resembles a giant condom, although that will cause you to move even slower. Your shopping basket is several times bigger than it really needs to be for the amount of shopping you expect to do, the handles are underneath but it has lots of extra cool features that make it heavier and bigger, but are otherwise of no use to most shoppers. At the checkout you get to pay for a copy of Windows even if you didn't want to buy one.

Dana W

Forward thinking 

Jobs Halo

Another entirely original idea from MICROSOFT!

Heff

What the Bejesus? 

Stop

practically cut-n-paste from previous commentary on microsofts "app store";

"Remember the days where Microsoft made operating systems? I mean, as opposed to today, where MS tries to out-google google, and now, apparently attempts to out-perform apple in the downloadable apps store section of the marketplace.

Dear Microsoft.

You've shown, over recent years, with your titanic bungling of hotmail, your extremely ill-advised ploughing of cash into Live! rebranding and search functionality, that at best you're a little schizophrenic at redmond. at worse, with your atrocious support standards for GamesForWindowsLive, and product crossover from Xbox to PC, that you cant even have 2 departments within the same building talk to each other."

...And now, fresh material!;

And now bricks-and mortar, too? What are you going to sell? Home consumers get their OS from Dell, with a new machine. You're going to sell what? Zunes? To who? the existing 3 zune customers already have theirs, and are probably very happy with them unless they bought a 30gig brick. you'll sell copies of Office, maybe? because home users upgrade this often, I hear. they dont just go with whatever was packed from their OEM.

So, people wont buy your operating system they'll buy it from Dell, probably cheaper than getting it direct from you. Or office. or fucking Zunes. I doubt you're planning highstreet stores to sell MSSQL server to joe-6-pack.

So it must be... um, what else.

Support! You'll sell support to people, right? you know,establishing new stores, hiring a bunch of windows fanboys* to staff them, nice, knowledgable people, right? and then you'll launch windows 7. and these fresh faced peeps are gonna handle the unwashed masses who arent happy windows 7 doesnt work right.

You're... well, brave isnt the word, is it?

*you know, like the apple fanboys. there are windows fanboys, right? ...hello?

Rafael Illan

interesting. 

Gates Horns

socan we get support for the 360 in the support Area?

Anonymous Coward

Good idea 

I like this, now MS can have a shop, just as Apple, and everyone else can be free to install what they like on their computers.

MS is a big brand, trusted by many a numpty. It could just work.

They should make an MS computer as well, go up market MS, screw the masses, so no change there :).

Now if only Ubuntu would open a series of shops. Damn, that is what they should have done, they should have said to the community you guys build a smoother desktop, and they will open up a chain of shops, that probably would have worked, given a discount on the hardware for those who contributed to the smoother desktop. Might still be time.

J

Weird 

Paris Hilton

So, they will be selling PCs, boxes of software, Zunes and Xboxes, is that it? The article does not specify, but suggests so. They will be selling what everybody else does already. What would make one go to the MS store instead of any other? I don't see what.

Does not sound like a very good idea, but then again who am I to know?

Anonymous Coward

And the PC hardware will be . . . 

. . . I don't know!

Showing Windows or Office without a PC would be pointless (the reason for walking into a store is so that you can see the product!).

The Microsoft ecosystem is based on NOT aligning with any specific PC hardware vendor. So will the store use Dell, HP, Toshiba, Sony - what is it?

Apple stores work because Apple sells the hardware. Less choice and higher price, sure - but it's very well suited to a retail outlet.

Sonya Fox

Microsoft Wal-Mart? 

If they're trying to compete with Apple's high-end boutique stores, I don't think hiring a guy from Wal-Mart will work. Wal-Mart's people know how to rake in tons of cash, but they do it by catering to the lowest common denominator. Considering how hard they've been pushing Vista, it's kind of ironic that Microsoft hired a guy from a store chain that makes most of its computer sales from low-end netbooks and sub-desktops running WinXP. Go figure.

Anonymous Coward

Who's smoking the wacky cracky pipe in Redmond? 

Flame

Who's smoking the wacky cracky pipe in Redmond?

Lets see...

Apple makes money from hardware, not software. They make computer case designs and market them like mad to create lustful desires among consumers and consumers want the products enough to go out of their way to track down an Apple store and drive to it just to experience the shopping experience.

Microsoft makes no hardware on the desktop/laptop side of an Apple Store, and the Zune on the iPod side of an Apple store. Most PC gear is cheap, plastic and/or chromed plastic, creaks, groans, feels not so solid in the hands let alone flexing it with any force to garner its usefulness as a portable item that won't let you down a year after purchasing at the counter. The consumer is already 20+ mind programmed that all PC salespeople are paid minimum wage, no nothing and will tell you anything even if not entirely true to make the sale and get another tick on the long list to getting a sales commission bonus end of month...

Someone pass the pipe because it must be a lovely world to live in.

Anonymous Coward

Surprise 

Who knows, they might end up selling their own branded PCs. If they can "make" an XBOX360 which is base on PC technology then why not? It won't be cheap - you know, Core i7, 4870 Graphics card, Two Raid0 disks - the PC they sell will be very fast to show off Vista Ultimate. Unlike a Mac, it might even have a Blu-Ray player.

No one knows what their plans are. They might surprise everyone. Remember, they are VERY cash rich (because they didn't buy Yahoo!).

/\/\j17

Bad timing you say? 

"While potentially justified, the timing will be questioned. Setting up a retail operation is expensive and the plan comes at a time when Microsoft is trying to cut costs. The high street, meanwhile, is suffering as consumers cut spending to ride out the recession."

Alternativly the timing could be commended - you should be able to get some really good deals on retail space at the moment. It's not like people are queuing up to take it over and doing a bargin deal with an established company, keep at least SOME money coming in is going to be an attractive proposition.

Smallbrainfield

All the comments so far forget that Microsoft does 

have one bit of popular hardware to base it's stores around, namely the X-Box. I reckon they'll base their stores largely around that, the games and accessories.

If they are going to sell PC hardware, they already have branded mice and keyboards. They'll probably push high end Dell/Sony/HP machines to show off their products.

Pascal Monett

Finally 

There is finally going to be a brick-and-mortar place where I can go throw a rock in the window when I'm over-exasperated with how Windows works - or doesn't, as may be case.

Nomen Publicus

Branding? 

Are we going to finally see Microsoft branded PCs and laptops?

Barry Tabrah

Let the jokes begin 

Happy

It'll take 5 minutes to get into the store. Upon entering the store you will be handed 20lb of Microsoft merchandise but no bag to carry it in. You may be thrown out of the store at any point with no warning. You will be hounded by sales staff asking you if you are sure you wish to browse this shelf.

And then there's always the risk of counterfeit Microsoft Stores. Happy days.

The Fuzzy Wotnot

Oh I get it! 

Thumb Up

That's what the old Woolies and Poundstretcher shops are being rebranded to!

Allan Rutland

Won't work 

Thumb Down

Quiet simply it won't work as they aren't as much the bunch the bastards are screwing those who support them. MS will stick to there SRP prices in the shops, and not go out to compete against all the myriad of other shops and online places. One of the reason Apples shops work is they match Apples online prices. And the prices Apple charges those in the channel are such that they can't match the shops or Apple themselves online.

So no, it's a nice place to demo tech, but to actually sell things. It's futile.

Magnus Ramage

Manufacturer-only stores pointless 

Unhappy

I've never been to an Apple store, and never seen the point. If I want an Apple product that I can touch before I buy it, I can go to a general retailer (John Lewis, say) where I'm not tied in to a particular manufacturer and can compare it with other manufacturers' models. And of course if I don't want to touch it I can buy it online. The same would be true for a Microsoft store (and worse for them as others have observed). Seems entirely pointless.

Apple aren't the only manufacturer with their own stores, mind you - Sony and Panasonic have them too, and so do various other firms if you widen the scope a little (Disney, for instance). They all seem unnecessary to me - why would any shopper want to deliberately reduce the scope of manufacturers they can buy products from? (One exception: the Lego store at Legoland Windsor, said to have the best collection in the UK; but that's within a very specialised environment, and only much use if you're there with small children.)

Matt Bryant

You forgot the range of M$ peripherals. 

Happy

As well as the Xbox and the software, M$ also make a range of mice and keyboards which seem to enjoy good sales even though they are sold at a premium over other vendors' peripherals in the high-street stores. Maybe M$ has a plan to expand that range, so as well as mice and keyboards there will be other products such as M$ smart wireless printers, M$ badged DVD drives, maybe an M$ home NAS - if the numpties will pay £50+ for an M$ mouse then you can sell them anything! All M$ has to do is maintain the high standard they have demonstrated with their mice and keyboards and it could be a goer.

Of course, the other option is M$ use their Wal Mart links to create an M$ franchise in every Wal Mart, that would cut the costs of the exercise and put them closer to the unwashed masses in just about every town in the US.

andy gibson

At least it gives us 

a human face to rant off at when we have problems.

Luther Blissett

The Hand works in mysterious ways 

Just as the malls are dying all over the developed world, and the commercial property market threatens to go the way of sub-prime numbers, Here Comes the Knight to the rescue!

All it needs now is the nod from Santa Obama, and even Charlie Brown here in Lalaland will will feel the tension in the leash. Re-lease to re-lease! Now we can all buy our Bill Glasses, cut-out and keep cut-outs of Bill, copy chairs of all the ones that Ballmer balled, M$ dartboards, etc etc.

With some invisible guiding Hand, the billion$ secreted away in Seattle will sea the light of day. Ah, sweet redistribution!

Robin

@Dave re: Authentic Windows Experience 

Happy

Excellent, can we have another one like this predicting the experience in other such outlets, such as a Linux shop where you have to assemble and fit the door before you can go in or something? Or an Apple shop where you pay over the odds for stuff that looks great?

Anonymous Coward

Line for Zune's starts here 

Dead Vulture

Surely Zunes?

Evil Graham

First rule of shopkeeping 

Stop

Fill your shop with shit that people might want to buy.

Dave

So when the stores are closed... 

Joke

...will they pull down the blue screens of death over the windows??! ;)

Yeah, sorry... couldn't resist.

Paul

curious decision 

Linux

bricks-and-mortar retailers in the UK and USA are scrabbling to get their online operations as good as possible, while the high street will go quieter (and maybe have a rent crash, which means that one day we might see a few more interesting, non-multiple stores returning). IMRG and other analysts come up with figs around 30 per cent for the increases in online sales for the last couple of Christmases. so why bother, especially if you don't make hardware for people to carry away - instead establish a well-marketed online retail presence and leave it at that. i'm puzzled.

Robert Moore

Oh this will work. 

Jobs Halo

Another Microsoft innovation "borrowed" from Apple. Lets see how well they cock this one up.

Thanks in advance for the laughs Microsoft.

Robert E A Harvey

All been said 

Gates Horns

I can't offer any better insight into this lunacy than the comments already offered.

Except when the Disney store opened in Peterborough I thought 'What? what on earth do disney have to sell?' but they made it work by selling crap.

Maybe that is the business model?

Michael

Who will be their market? 

Happy

I think it's going to break into two distinct stereotypes...sorry, personality profiles.

1. Business users. (Clicky-clacky Gordon Gecko-wannabes with power braces sports car trophy wife who need the latest hardware and software to impress their colleagues, cos they dont really have mates.)

2. Chavs (High end graphics cards requirement ....also, a suitable environment to....(cough!) .acquire....new games/hardware.)

I have a really good warm fuzzy feeling about Microsoft's current plans.:-)

David Donley

Happy Days !!! 

Linux

Hopefully one will open in my local area, I live miles and miles away from anything like PC World.

If the Microsoft shop opens near me, I will be able to go in and get some hands on experience with one of them Netbooks, like the Aspire One with Linpus Linux, or that Dell Netbook with Ubuntu.

I will be able to see if I prefer it with XFCE or with Gnome

I will be able to see if I prefer it with SSD or HDD

wait a second........ Microsoft shop you said ? Damn

Steve McPolin

Chigger bites 

Gates Horns

Will ebaum have to come up with a BillMart Bingo card? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but having the trailer park boys dream up a knock off... Watch for the next mac vs pc ad to have pc scratching himself all over.

sleepy

PC World reborn? 

Microsoft clearly believes a lousy PC retail experience must not be allowed to die with the recession. I expect Dixons group has already been on the phone to MS to see which store leases they'd be willing to take over.

Anonymous Coward

And the slogan shall be "Where do you want to go today?" 

accompanied by pictures of children gaily skipping towards a lifetime of Office servitude purchased from a building constructed from what looks suspiciously like unsold Zunes.

Anonymous Coward

@A/C 

Flame

Now if only Ubuntu would open a series of shops.

yeah like people are going to pop in and buy copies of free software.

Just how are these staff, rent and utlility bills going to be paid by something that is free?

I'm struggling to understand your business model.

Linux knob. "Hello, I'd like to open a store please"

Bank mismanager "Sure what are you outgoings"

linux knob "About 250k / year"

Bank mismanager "And your expected turnover?"

Linux Knob "0 "

Bank mismanager, "close the door behind you"

Stick to coding in your bedroom, don't think you're ready for the world outside yet.

Giles Jones

Hmm 

They're not exactly big in consumer electronics. Zune and XBox range is largely all they have.

Microsoft can't produce their own brand PC as that would upset OEMs and government regulators.

What will it sell? if Microsoft carefully select specific PC hardware to sell then that will upset other makers who didn't get selected.

gribbler

You people are all so cynical... 

Thumb Up

I really think that this is a good idea. I like to take the piss out of MS as much as the next person, but that doesn't stop me from using their products every day. After all, Windows is still better than any free alternatives and I refuse to pay £10,000 for an Apple (perhaps a slight over-exaggeration but they ARE ridiculously overpriced).

MS Office is by far and away the best productivity suite on the market. My company recently conducted a trial of alternative office products and they were terrible.

I know I couldn't live without my (modified) X-Box and 360 or my Hotmail account.

What MS really need is to improve their image and what better way than to take the fight directly to Apple. In my opinion (which I am not trying to force on to any of you) MS makes far superior products to Apple. As far as I can tell, Apple does a really good job of punting seriously overpriced stuff at you and making you buy it through an impressive advertising campaign that makes it 'cool'.

MS needs to bring some appeal back to its brand and this could give them a chance.

Anonymous Coward

Stupid move 

So are they opening retail stores or copying Apple? Apple HAD to make their stores all pretty and expensive and branded BECAUSE THEY HAD SO FEW OUTLETS!

On the other hand Microsoft had tens of thousands of outlets everywhere.

So all they'll do is piss off their retailers and undermine their own channel to do something they don't need to do.

Anonymous Coward

A shop full of Windows...boring 

"Apple, meanwhile, has peppered the globe with flagship stores that sell Macs, iPods, software, and provide customers with decent support."

I can't see how MS are gonna be able to provide in-store technical support like Apple does as there are just too many home Windows users and many with all sorts of home PC problems. You'll end up with a queue for free technical support out of the door. Then when someone's been queueing up for 3 hours and the support guy gives a flippant answer or no answer you'll just end up with mad-as-hell customers. How is that going to work?

No wait, it's coming.....yes they charge for technical support, say £20 per question or 15 minutes worth and you book an appointment. I can see that getting messy.

Anonymous Coward

CyberSub 

This looks like a typo, but it is hard to tell with you guys:

"upgrades to Winds 7 Ultimate"

Danny Thompson

In-store Support? 

Stop

"....and provide customers with decent support"

Is this as opposed to "... and currently provide customers with crap support"?

Look Microsoft, if you are seriously going to try and follow the Apple store support model you have got to do yourself some very serious mystery shopping first. The Apple Genius support model is world class and sets the bar. Anyone who hasn't experienced it cannot comment with any degree of credibility.

And so what are we to expect in the Microsoft store? When I walk in with my XP-based Netbook, because Vista is too bloated to run on current Atom-based tech, may I expect such world class support? You cannot say that it is a defunct OS because you sold it to me via the netbook's manufacturer. The entire package was a legitimate and conspired sale, not an OEM hack.

This is where it all going to come tumbling down. MS customers are not going to think to themselves "Oooh, I don't have Windows 7 or Vista and so I cannot go into the store for support". If you are wearing the Microsoft brand, and you are claiming to offer support in store, then what you are going to get is folk walking in with XP and expecting better than to be sold the latest iteration of the OS.

Stop = because if Microsoft don't wise up they're going to do themselves a huge disservice.

Anonymous Coward

@"Good Idea" AC 

Thumb Down

An Ubuntu store? That'd be made of lego, k'Nex and meccano and have a combined assault course and maze between the front door and any features not immediately accessible when you get to it. You want tech support from the Ubuntu store? You go round to the "forum" area at the back where a number of random people are sat, more random people keep forcing flyers on you, you get your credit card number nicked.

If you fought your way over there you could attempt to get the attention of someone who knows what's happenning then buy them a Java.

On the upside, It'd be very nearly impossible to steal from it and would be utterly sterile.

An MS store would have most things pretty easily accessible but would charge you for walking into it or sue you for looking into it to see what's going on inside. On the upside, it'd be utterly impervious to being ramraided as its windows would be treacleesque and absorb any attempt to actually do anything.

The criminals would, however, be able to walk into one of the MS-provided gaping holes in the walls.

Thomas

The Apple store was borne out of necessity... 

... in that circa 2001, before the iPod, nobody else really stocking Apple computers and Apple had negligible visibility on the high street. Maybe Microsoft's store is a similar tactical move - purely to reclaim consumer mindshare irrespective of potential profits and/or the ability to show much more than the Microsoft and Windows logos in their shops?

TeeCee

Great idea. 

A large plate-glass window in every town just for lobbing RROD'd Xboxes through.

Just what we needed. Mail in is just so impersonal and doesn't give anywhere near the satisfaction that being able to fling the sodding things in their faces will.

Maliciously Crafted Packet

Even Stork margarine... 

can't be spread more thinly than Microsoft these days.

Microsoft should be concentrating on core competencies like Office, Exchange, Widows and the Data-centre. Their diversification attempts over the last 10 years have been bleeding money or at best made very small returns. Getting into retail is yet another diversion.

Aside from hardware only manufactures, can anyone name a technology company that Microsoft is not competing with? Buggered if I can.

Kenny Millar

Feck sake 

Gates Horns

Have MS never had an original idea in their life?

I bet the shops are over complicated, over engineerd and buggy, like everything else they copy.

James Le Cuirot

Windows to the soul 

Gates Horns

Will it be like this? XD

http://ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20040714

Ken Hagan

Re: And the PC hardware will be . . . 

They'll use the same hardware that the developers used to write the OS. In Fista's case, that'll be a multi-monitor setup with tiled 2k resolution panels, quad core space heaters with 16GB of RAM, and banks of solid state drives.

Seriously, Microsoft aren't developing or selling hardware, so they are free to shop around for something that makes their software look good. Why would *any* shop exhibit its product under less than favourable conditions. Do fashion houses use ugly models? Do car ads show harrassed parents parked on the M5 with feral kids in the back seat?

Kenny Millar

BREAKING NEWS - MS TO REBRAND 

Gates Horns

MS have today announced that they are to ditch the name 'Microsoft' with all it's negative connotations, and rebrand as 'Me 2'

This is a wonderful bit of imagineering, as it encapsulates everything MS is knee deep in.

N

Like most things 

Microsoft can only follow Apple

& a copy is never quite as good as the original

N

Now I understand 

Why the arch demon of Redmond was prancing around the stage shouting:

developers

developers

developers

he wanted to build some shops

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