
Why buy this MS Bloatware when you can get OpenOffice for free. Granted, it doesn't actually do what you want it to do, and it is spectacularly bug ridden - but the great thing is that you, the end-user, can help make it better. You just need to dedicate a day each week to collaborative online efforts in bugsquashing and feature improvements and developments. Complete novice to programming? Well, let the online community belittle your pathetic consumerist vision of a product that 'just works' and instead urge you to dedicate your life to improving OO, free of charge - it will heal the world.
Alternatively, pay up and let MS do the hard work whilst you get on with your life.
You mean, you don't know what root privileges are? You idiot! Anyone living in the 21st century needs to know that....