The side benefits of unreliability
Given what most M$ products are famed for, then the ladies they provide might..... no this is not appropriate :-)
Microsoft 'offered sex and drugs to distributors'
As sales incentives go it's pretty extreme: one of Microsoft's Israeli distributors is claiming Microsoft offered resellers women for sex on a cruise ship. The distributor, EIM Computerized Technologies, made the revelations about the alleged activities in papers filed with the Tel Aviv District Court. The story in the Globes …
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One way or another
Microsoft will ensure you're f****d.
Eh?
Muddy boots and broken glasses?!
Rugby/Hooker? Diet Coke? No? Please yourselves!
Proof?
Proof would be nice.
Paris, because she knows how to give services.
Seriously?
"EIM claims it was victimised for not taking part in the orgy"
As claims go, that is pretty poor. Did the dog eat their homework too?
Microsoft sex
You know someone is going to get a virus.
So the choice is now between ...
... Open Source or Open Sauce!
How come I...
...never seem to be invited to these events
But of course...
The women were fine for a while, but then became completely unresponsive and had to be rebooted.
Offering sex and drugs?
Hey, they do it everywhere!
They screw you AND also give you Windows... or are those the one and same action?
Winning strategy
I have always believed that microsoft are a corrupt, immoral and criminal organisation who are a disgrace to the IT industry.
I am a reasonable man however, and would be prepared to reconsider this position for a suitable bribe of sex and drugs.
Another tale of debauchery
More details please. Pictures or it didin't happen.
Neither EIM nor Microsoft were able to immediately comment on this story
Were they on a cruise?
And, please, Playmobil reconstruction!
I'm in the wrong line of work!
Where do I sign up to become an Israeli software distributor?
Paris, 'cause she's been known to accept payments for attending parties as well...
I wonder...
Interesting that Microsoft filed suit for breach of contract, but not for anything to do with the drug-fuelled orgy allegations. Is that a tacit admission?
It was probably a misunderstanding
cone on, try Vista!
Ha ha ha - youre shagged!
Microsoft hookers?
Got to be a few jokes in there somewhere...
...I'd just be worried about catching something nasty!
Microsoft hookers?
Ditto , JBH.
I have enough problems already.
Just imagine...
microsoft[tm] sex[tm] (plus! pack) and microsoft[tm] banned substance[tm] (ultimate edition).
And the appropriate ad campaigns to go with those.
Neither EIM nor Microsoft were able to immediately comment on this story.
Probably too shagged out to bother
Beats engineered incompatibility
should be legal, probably is. Bribery use to be legal in these isles, still is if you call it an incentive.
Of course we use to have very low tax as well, and the ability to carry weapons which balanced it all out.
Short Sighted
The error as I see it was in not providing a number of men who would also provide said services.
Discrimination, I say.
Well
Perhaps a ship makes some difference as it is sort of a restricted space and the whole lot was, I suppose, paid for by Microsoft.
But what is the real difference when you take customers, for instance, to CeBit and you pay for the "after ski" part.
Are there any laws against it.
The drug part sounds bad, however, but the type of drugs is not mentioned.
Business as usual
So i start the night off, get sucked into trying a great new product, things are going well i end up getting shagged, catch a virus and i crash 3 hours later, go into hibernation for 5 hours, reboot and nothings quite the same afterwards
ad campaign?
So who's going to deliver the "Hookers and blow, that was my idea" line?
I wonder how
one becomes a Microsoft distributor
/hugs knees and does a little weep
The hookers wouldn't have much business
They are after all "Micro Softies"
It looks like you're trying to get it up...
...would you like some help with that?
Multiple vectors
...to be infected with a virus. Microsoft are always exploring new avenues, it seems.
Double Standards
1) MS sue in Irish jurisdiction!
2) Al Yamanah, senator
WinTarts.
MS may give away the Homely Edition, but they know that at some point you're going to want to pay for the Ultimate version...
:O
Ten and a half million shekels ?
Did you hear that ? "Ten and a half million" he offers ! Me, with a dying Grandmother ??
(Haven't they ever heard of haggling...?)
Missing Ingredient
Its just like microsoft to miss out a vital ingredient.
i see no mention of Rock And Roll
well, look at the MS board...
...do you seriously think any of them took time out in the late 70's to investigate the music scene of landaaan taaaan?
i'm sure there was something funnier to be written here, but on having to re-log in to the site, it appears to have gone askew...ah well...
Didn't they have mobiles ?
On the boat (before getting out of range, or when coming back in range) someone should have called the cops and had them waiting at the pier.
It would be a lot less deniable if the cops had arrested everyone, found banned substances and a group of skimpily-clad nubile women.
But they didn't, and they probably didn't take any pics either, so Microsoft will have an easy job of pretending that it is above such practices.
Microsoft says....
This came in from a Microsoft spokesperson:
"Microsoft terminated its commercial relationship with EIM Computer Technologies for valid business reasons. We are confident that the court will support our position.”
Thanks for that,
Chris.
Boat in International waters.
Who ya gonna call? what juristiction?
surprisingly, to some it seems, anything goes off shore!
What if...
I was busy wanking one day, when I thought, "Hey, what if someone else would pay for me to get laid and line up cocaine for me?". So, Microsoft sent me on a Cruise Ship where I screwed 5 hookers and took so much cocaine my noise nearly fell off.
My name's Pete Doherty and the Windows 7 Sex & Drugs Cruise was my idea!
and all I got was...
A copy of MS Works ...........
seriously thought........................... oh, never mind!
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase...
... three-finger shuffle...
Teenage Volleyball Team
One of the most embarrassing evenings I've ever had to endure was the Friday night entertainment provided by Microsoft at the end of a week long TechEd conference in Auckland.
They got a local teen girl volleyball team into play us geeks!
There were lots of cool games though and the buffet was great - including a whole King fish.
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My 25 years of comical IT buzzwords
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Time to take a sniff at the coffee, perhaps
Chris Mellor
Will they have to drag him back like last time?
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