back to article Europe-wide ecommerce laws ahoy!

Any European citizen buying from any website within Europe will be protected by the same consumer rights on prices, delivery and returns. The EU-wide law was passed by the European Parliament this morning. It means punters will have a two-week cooling off period after receiving goods and must be given precise information on …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    right...

    I bought a goat from Romania, but when it arrived it was dead.

    Who do I write to?

    1. HCl+NaOH
      Coat

      I'm afraid it will be difficult for you to get reimbursed ...

      "I bought a goat from Romania, but when it arrived it was dead.

      Who do I write to?"

      This is very common with cheap goats imported from Greece. Many fail to meet the stringent standards of the Romanian Independent Shepherds Union and are then re-sold on the western markets.

      Over time, this has lead to clashes between angry mobs of dissatisfied western customers (mostly British) and gangs supported by the Romanian Goat Cartel. The most recent such event occurred at a friendly soccer match in Austria, where several Englishmen were injured by rock-hard balls of old polenta hurled by Romanian gang members.

      In response, several groups of English hooligans reportedly chartered buses and departed for an unspecified destination in Romania. The Romanian authorities' pleas with the Austrian government to stop the incoming buses remained unsuccessful. The Austrian government's claims that they have no jurisdiction over transiting buses full of Englishmen could not dispel the rumors that Austria just could not afford to lose the vignette (road tax) revenue and therefore had to let the English pass.

      The situation was diffused by a small group of Hungarian customs officials in Hegyeshalom, after a surprisingly-short goulash and barack palinka-supported round of negotiations.

      Meanwhile, Romanian exports of re-branded goats continue and the matter has been brought to the European Commission's attention. Suggestions by Romanian diplomats that harmed European consumers be compensated by the original Greek exporters were opposed by the majority of the delegations, with the Germans reportedly saying "not until we get our freakin' money back!"

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Comisia Europeană

      This is where , http://ec.europa.eu/index_ro.htm

      Bet you are feeling silly now!!!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      To the relevant regulatory body, of course.

      The Goats E-commerce organisation, it used to be at www.goatse.cx, but I'm not sure what the new address is.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Did you buy it using a credit card?

      If so, you may be protected. A court decision last year extended protection for such purchases, to any made abroad or from a foreign business, in good faith, where the consumer can be said to have had a reasonable expectation of the business being legitimate (although it is worth clarifying this for yourself if you intend to rely on it in future). There may be a £100 lower limit for such protection, however, and in any case, speak to your credit card provider to see if they can help.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    The number of times

    I have tried to purchase good from the UK to my home on mainland EU, to be told, its too difficult to send thing to mainland europe, boo hooo

    Well lamers you deserve to go under.

    re

    Regulators believe that European consumers are put off buying across European borders because of questions over regulations

  3. Scott Broukell
    Coat

    You could ...

    ... write them a Gruff letter.

    Or maybe go capra-in-hand to the Euro parliament.

    OK, I'll get my mohair lined coat then ....

  4. Harry
    Alert

    Goats are probably not covered.

    There's probably not much you can do about selling dead goats.

    But if he was flogging a dead horse, that might be another matter.

  5. heyrick Silver badge

    Selling things for different prices in different member states

    Don't they understand that this is why grey imports exist? Local taxation aside, why should a product be n% cheaper in the same currency just because you travel ten miles and cross an arbitrary political line?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Call of duty.

    Will I be able to order my cigs & booze online from a European retailer and pay the same as everyone else in Europe? No! No I will not. UK sucks. Nuff said.

  7. Daedalus
    Devil

    Pan-European uniform regulation will help business in every country

    And I've got a bridge you might like to buy.

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