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back to article John McAfee the Belize spymaster uncovers 'ricin, terrorist plots'

Infosec daredevil John McAfee claims he became a spymaster in Belize after giving laptops infected with espionage malware to police and government officials. McAfee, who moved to the central American low-tax haven some years ago, further claimed he supervised a ring of 23 women and six men as operatives, and tasked them with …

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Anonymous Coward

MacAfee? Espionage malware? Shurely shome mishtake...

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Meh

As nutty as a nut cake on nut tablets......

As paranoid as a paranoid thing on paranoid tablets....

What! you mean it's all TRUE!

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Anonymous Coward

Perhaps the government is behind all of this ...

The constant supply of crazy "conspiracy theories", making people grow bored of them, must certainly help governments really carry out some of the things they are accused of, because if it ever gets leaked, people will assume it's just another "conspiracy theory'" and ignore it. Depressing, really.

I tend to ignore this stuff in an "agnostic", rather than a "non-believer" way.

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Re: Perhaps the government is behind all of this ...

"The constant supply of crazy "conspiracy theories", making people grow bored of them, must certainly help governments really carry out some of the things they are accused of"

That's what they want you to think.

In reality governments don't have the capability to do it.

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Re: Perhaps the government is behind all of this ...

i find it hilarious that conspiracy nuts seem to think the various governments/state agency's which are so evil and capable of reverse engineering UFO's, flying unmanned planes (and making a load of people disappear, probably to some island where they are all assigned a number) into skyscrapers to start wars and murdering small children to get guns banned to make the populace more timid (seriously this one is starting to pop up) is the same government that can't cover up where the president/top general puts there privates.

The politico's can barely agree on anything yet somehow can keep all these various "PSYOPS" under wraps. The hit on Bin Laden used some new high tech kit (stealth black hawks and drones) but was revealed by some bloke on twatter. The irony is by believing all these nutty theory's people make the governments/agency's/international jewish communist liberation front of palestine seem far more competent and powerful then they really are

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Re: Perhaps the government is behind all of this ...

you are only ever seeing the tip of the iceberg: what THEY want you to see. No more. No less. To fill in the rest you need courage and genius. You need to be like john mcafee. Can you handle that?

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Re: Perhaps the government is behind all of this ...

I hope you're joking, troll.

Most of the things you state are conspiracy facts, not theories. There is nothing 'nuts' about it. It is deadly serious.

The fact is that 9/11 gave America the 'excuse' to start wars, to lock up whoever they like, to blow people up with drones as if they're playing some computer game, and yes, many children have been part of that 'collaterall'.

Do you really find all this hilarious?! Can you imagine what it's like waking up every day wondering if the drones are going to target you this time, like when they 'accidentally' blew up your mates family.

You're the only nut around here.

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Big Brother

Re: Perhaps the government is behind all of this ...

Most conspiracy theories I heard so far of were not rational, however that doesn't mean that governments do not, and are not capable of, committing acts of evil.

For example, if presented with plans for Nazi genocide in, say, 1939, I'm pretty sure most people would have dismissed the messenger as a tinfoil hat lunatic. But as we know now, such plans unfortunately have existed and been executed.

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Re: Perhaps the government is behind all of this ...

More nuttier than squirrel poop.

Just because he is paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after him.

"They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly. "No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried. "Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked. "They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone." "And what difference does that make?"

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Re: Perhaps the government is behind all of this ...

"But as we know now, such plans unfortunately have existed and been executed."

That's just what they want you think

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Anonymous Coward

Wait, I've got it

I finally figured out what's happening with John. I feel ashamed I didn't catch on before. Let's review the clues:

1) Eccentric billionaire.

2) Lots of extra time on his hands, looking for new excitement.

3) Strange adventure involving a vast conspiracy.

4) John 9:25

Apparently Consumer Recreation Services is now based in Belize.

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Re: Wait, I've got it

The bootnote has a clue:

* McAfee earlier claimed that his extensive postings on an underground internet forum about the powerful effects of MDPV - a psychoactive drug better known as bath salts and touted as a stimulant with sexual arousal effects whose side-effects include paranoia and psychotic delusions – were just an elaborate joke.

Paranoia and Psychotic delusions? Well I bet its not such a joke after all.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Wait, I've got it

lol. They were certainly NOT a joke.

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WTF?

WTF

Just WTF is that man on?

Oh, and his rantings are that bat-shit crazy that i read "extensive spook network" as extensive spork network and it still made sense.

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jai
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Re: WTF

what's he on? sounds like a large and constant supply of bath salts...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: WTF

Sounds like a job for two men in white coats and an extra large butterfly net.

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Unhappy

Re: WTF

There is probably something wrong with my brain, but the "extensive spork network" substitution set me giggling helplessly to the point of hyperventilation. Please don't do that again.

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I salute you, righteous fruitcake o7

These stories are massively entertaining.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I salute you, righteous fruitcake o7

No doubt the likes of the Met, SIS, HMG will find all this BS totally believable. I foresee lots of urgent all expenses paid trips to Belize in order to assess the accuracy of this data.

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Boffin

Re: Re: I salute you, righteous fruitcake o7

"No doubt the likes of the Met, SIS, HMG will find all this BS totally believable...." Not really. Whilst Hezbollah has a large and willing presence in the Shia communities in Argentina, Brazil and Paraguay, it doesn't have the same in Belize. Also, as Belize has a co-defence treaty with the UK, it also has British forces bases and is used by the SAS for jungle training, so not exactly the place you'd want to ship Abdul the Suicide Bomber through if you're looking to go unnoticed. Hezbollah has been implicated in drugs and cigarette smuggling in Latin America, and has a vocal ally in Chavez's Venezuela, but that's been known and documented for quite a while, so any massive organisation avoiding detection is unlikely.

We do have the simple but sad truth that people trying to escape the Lebanon for a better future in the US has been happening every day for years. Not every Lebanese is a member of Hezbollah, indeed the majority of those seeking a better life in the US are from the Lebanese Christian minority. Some do try and cross the border via people smugglers in Mexico, aided by corrupt Mexican officials, so it's not beyond reason that a similar ring could exist in Belize. It's just the ricin and Hezbollah waffle is a bit too much.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I salute you, righteous fruitcake o7

You obviously miss the whole point of security theatre.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I salute you, righteous fruitcake o7

I thought the SAS was busy training and arming Syrian Rebels (aka al Qaeda supporters)

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Pirate

Re: I salute you, righteous fruitcake o7

"I thought the SAS was busy training and arming Syrian Rebels (aka al Qaeda supporters)". Well, not the Syrians (cough*Qatar*cough*Saudi*cough), but the Turks are a bit miffed as they think that MI6 may have been the link that put London-based Iraqi Kurds in bed with Israel's Mossad prior to the invasion of Iraq. No, if I was looking for SAS at the moment, apart from Waziristan, I'd be looking just north of Kenya and the ongoing operations against Al-Shabaab. The SAS also exercise often in Kenya as well as Belize, indeed there was a SAS unit exercising in Kenya when the Falklands War kicked off. Of course, there might also be the SAS Mountain Troop hiding down in the Falklands right now, just in case Emperess Kirchener the Nutty decides she really needs to distract her people from the chronically crap Argentine economy and tries to invade the Falklands again.....

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Cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo

See title!

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Black Helicopters

Scanning...

Alert! Brain Virus!

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I got to get me some of those bath salts!

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Only if you are looking to be wanted as a murder suspect in a foreign country - oh, and thoroughly, possibly permanently, bonkers.

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FAIL

FFS

He's an attention-seeking paranoid stone-bonker. Stop reporting on his delusions and he might just shut the fuck up.

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Pint

Re: FFS

So: A bat-shit paranoid egomaniac with a fondness for the ladies and column inches.

Pretty much the same as Assange then, but with more hallucinogenics.

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zb

Re: FFS

Did you mean the inches of his column?

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Re: FFS

"Did you mean the inches of his column?"

You'd have to ask a 20 year old 'bar girl' or a 'very competent' live-in espionage agent about that.

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WTF?

Mind bloggling

Just when you think John McAfee cannot get more crazy he comes out with this. I think I would go insane if I had to live his life for just one day.

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Paris Hilton

John Le Carre plot?

Reads more like a Dirk Diggler movie plot

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Anonymous Coward

the one flew over the cookoo's nest defense

his calculated rambling would get him out of all this mess, except the victim of the crime is a fellow american.

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Perhaps he went to a special company.

They may have remembered it for him wholesale?

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This is almost the plot to 'The Tailor of Panama'

His 'operatives' continually find new and interesting things, because McAffee keeps paying them. "Oh, John, my cousin Jesus in immigration knows about these Hezbollah terrorists coming in to Belize, all he needs is some chatting (and $10k USD)".

OTOH, It is a life-long dream of mine to make enough money in technology that I can afford to go bat-shit insane on soft drugs in a tropical paradise with my friendly 19 year old bed warmer. Kudos JM.

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Facepalm

Box of (jungle?) frogs

Mad as a

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Devil

Clearly it's some version of Kill Bill

With less Katana.

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Its sad

I've known a number of people who have moved to a little cabin deep into the woods (one on the beach in Belize will do as well), lost touch with society and have gone over the edge. Paranoia, conspiracy theories, etc.

ProTip: Maintain contact with society. Its good for your mental health.

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Re: Its sad

"ProTip: Maintain contact with society. Its good for your mental health."

Only for certain values of "society" though. And certain values of "health" too for that matter.

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Anonymous Coward

Eight of the women were so accomplished that they ended up living with me.

Boy, I'd like to be able to say that one day.

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Trollface

1 of 3

Bat

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Trollface

2 of 3

Shit

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Trollface

3 of 3

Crazy

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Anonymous Coward

Never knew that reg 'tards were part of the MI5|FBI|CIA etc....

They seem to know everything!?!

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Coat

Wrong agency

Its more MFI I think.....

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Nuttier than squirrel shit. It sounds like drugs sent him crazy and he attracted some parasites who fed his paranoia for as long as he paid them. Inside his mind must be a scary place, (not so) poor daft old bugger. At least it has made for some amusing reading over the months.

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WTF?

He's full of it - if he REALLY was doing all that, he wouldn't need to spout it all to anyone that would listen.

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Anonymous Coward

Breaking Bad(ly)

It's clear that Belize police didn't find the methlab but I'm not convinced there wasn't anything to find...

Why only the female "operatives" where allowed to follow McAfee 24/7? Sounds a nice of a mix between a lot of paranoia, a bit of delirium, a pinch of conspiracy theory and a some cult leader bullshit...

Anonymous just in case he's right!

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Anonymous Coward

Stick to acid, John. It's safer...

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