back to article The Solar System's second-largest volcano found hiding on Earth

Earth's largest volcano – and possibly the second largest volcano in the Solar System – has been discovered hiding deep beneath the waves about 1,000 miles east of Japan. How large is "largest"? According to a paper published in Nature Geoscience, the "immense shield volcano" spans about 120,000 square miles, making it equal …

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  1. Kimo

    "120,000 square miles, making it equal in size to the British Isles – which, for you stateside readers who may be unfamiliar with that geographical designation, encompasses both Great Britain and Ireland"

    Or in American Standard units, The Size of New Mexico.

    1. Big-nosed Pengie

      "Or in American Standard units, The Size of New Mexico."

      But what's that in football fields?

      1. Number6

        Proper football fields or American football fields?

    2. Obvious Robert

      But I thought the accepted international standard of area measurement was the Belgium...?

      1. Obvious Robert

        Which would make Tamu Massif about 4 Belgiums. Ah, now I understand.

        1. Potemkine Silver badge
          Headmaster

          More exactly...

          10.1807 Belgium, according to El Reg Online Standards Converter ( cf http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/page/reg-standards-converter.html)

          1. Katie Saucey
            Happy

            Re: More exactly...

            So about 15 billion NanoWales, I see it now.

      2. WraithCadmus
        Headmaster

        For reference the units of area are as follows

        Imperial - Wales

        US Standard - Rhode Island

        Metric/SI - Belgium

        1. Kimo

          Making it almost exactly 99 Rhode Islands.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Did the author just get out of a Delorian? Since when has depth been measured in feet again?!

      1. Armando 123

        "Since when has depth been measured in feet again?!"

        Since Obama said so.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Did the author just get out of a Delorian? Since when has depth been measured in feet again?!"

        Since we stopped using dumbed-down French units that are unsuited and awkward for everyday experience?

      3. JDX Gold badge

        Since about as long ago as we measure distance in miles.

        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

          I still have no idea how big this thing is

          Can someone translate it into Tasmanias?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: I still have no idea how big this thing is

            @ Can someone translate it into Tasmanias?

            Sure: about 4.5 Tasmanias.

            You're welcome.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @ Kimo

      "120,000 square miles, making it equal in size to the British Isles – which, for you stateside readers who may be unfamiliar with that geographical designation, encompasses both Great Britain and Ireland"

      Or in American Standard units, The Size of New Mexico.

      ================================

      Or a relatively small Texas cattle ranch.

  2. Doomed

    East?

    Isn't that West of Japan?

    1. Mark Eccleston

      Re: East?

      Only if you go the long way.

    2. MajorTom

      Re: East?

      It's west of Hawaii.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Goin' downtown

    145 million years is quite old for an oceanic plate feature. Usually they don't get past 100 mil or so before being gobbled at a plate boundary. This volcano must have been riding the pacific plate a very long distance, but the End is Near. The plate in that area is currently and firmly headed northwest, surrounded in front and to the sides by hungry subduction zones. Ain't nowhere to go but down, this time!

    Pretty big pill to swallow, tho.

    1. The Blacksmith
      Mushroom

      Re: Goin' downtown

      And when it goes down there will probably be a bit of shaking in Japan. But on the bright side, Fukushima will probably be decommissioned by then, we hope.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Goin' downtown

      It might not be subducted because of its thickness. The plate might refuse to buckle and subduct in which case the Tamu Massif will either be accreted on to the edge of the Eurasian plate as an exotic terrane (such as has happened with a similarly thickened section of oceanic crust in Colombia), or it will be obducted on to the continental plate as an ophiolite (Troodos in Cyprus, much of Oman and the UK's very own Lizard).

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: Goin' downtown

        Or maybe the plates could just get 'stuck'?

  4. TReko

    Hidden in plain site

    Amazing what we're still discovering, so close to home.

  5. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    So if you want to win, hire a Finn, if you want the biggest hire a Texan?

    Title says it all really.

  6. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    A-ha!

    Either the lair of Godzilla or the position of Second Impact.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      Alien

      Re: A-ha!

      Or R'lyeh...

    2. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: A-ha!

      Second Impact was supposed to be in Antarctica!

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: A-ha!

        > Second Impact was supposed to be in Antarctica!

        Anno just adapted that for more dramatic effect.

  7. Locky
    Mushroom

    Named by Sasha Barron-Cohen?

    Clearly a nod toward his Staines Massif

    I believe the correct response is "BOOM"

    1. Juan Inamillion

      Re: Named by Sasha Barron-Cohen?

      Bugger - beat me to it..

      :-)

  8. plrndl
    Joke

    But iz it bigga dan da Staines Massive?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Council estate rumble: East & West Staines Massif to take on Tamu Massif.

    I'll get me coat..

  10. Evoflash

    New Island

    How long before Russia discovers an underwater land-bridge to it.

    Just in case.

  11. wolfetone Silver badge

    British Isles?

    Last time I checked, the Republic of Ireland (Southern Ireland) was independent of Britain, and doesn't fall under the term "British Isles".

    Where did you learn Geography? From some Victorian book saying the world was flat I bet.

    1. Tom 38

      Re: British Isles?

      Last time I checked, the Republic of Ireland (Southern Ireland) was independent of Britain, and doesn't fall under the term "British Isles".

      You must have checked in the Big Retard's Book of Geography then. Geography has very little to do with politics.

      The British Isles are a group of islands off the north-western coast of continental Europe that include the islands of Great Britain, Ireland and over six thousand smaller isles

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Up

        Re: British Isles?

        >You must have checked in the Big Retard's Book of Geography then.

        I dunno it must be Friday or sumfink. I'm still sniggering about that comment.

    2. Mage Silver badge

      Re: British Isles?

      However, the association between the word "British" and the United Kingdom[2] causes use of the term to be regarded as implying appropriation or overlordship of Ireland by Britain.[3][4][5][6][7] Alternative terms include "Britain and Ireland",[3][8] "Atlantic Archipelago",[9] "Anglo-Celtic Isles",[10][11] the "British-Irish Isles" and the Islands of the North Atlantic.[12] In documents drawn up jointly between the British and Irish governments, the archipelago is referred to simply as "these islands".[13]

      There is a slight controversy among more enthusiastic Hibernophiles.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Isles_naming_dispute

      Personally I don't have a problem as British != UK and British != English.

      Little Briton is in France (Brittany) and most of the real Britons are the Celts in Wales and Cornwall as successive Angles, Saxons and Normans chased them out of England. Actually it's a mystery as to why the UK doesn't speak Dutch, seeing as the last "conqueror" was from there. Though he was actually invited and perversely the Politicians in London were upset when he threatened to take his army away... Sort of the opposite of the usual.

      1. Natalie Gritpants

        "Actually it's a mystery as to why the UK doesn't speak Dutch"

        Not to me, I've been to NL. Everyone there speaks at least one other language fluently, it's their ticket out of there.

        1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

          Re: "Actually it's a mystery as to why the UK doesn't speak Dutch"

          The Dutch I know prefer English anyway, it sounds nicer to them and is less tongue-twisting than their own language...

        2. Guus Leeuw

          Re: "Actually it's a mystery as to why the UK doesn't speak Dutch"

          Thanks for that, Natalie. Gave me a nice giggle, being Dutch an'all

      2. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

        Re: British Isles?

        ...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Isles_naming_dispute

        I don't think there IS a naming dispute.

        Just because someone wants there to be, and creates a Wiki article about it, doesn't make it so....

    3. smylar

      Re: British Isles?

      See here:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNu8XDBSn10

    4. Cynical Observer
      FAIL

      Re: British Isles?

      @wolfetone - Last time I checked, it was not correct to use the term "The Republic of Ireland" to refer to the 26 county state. The name of the state that is fecked up governed from Dublin is just Ireland; a name that is now accepted by the government of The United Knigdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

      It's a bit of reciprocal arrangement where they each agreed to call the other by their chosen names.

    5. Maharg

      Re: British Isles? Wow, you managed to fail both Geography and History in two sentences!

      “Last time I checked, the Republic of Ireland (Southern Ireland) was independent of Britain, and doesn't fall under the term "British Isles".

      Where did you learn Geography? From some Victorian book saying the world was flat I bet”

      As pointed out by many, many other people, the Republic of Ireland is part of the Geographic location known as the British Isles , Just like Canada and Mexico are in a place called North America.

      As for the last point, the Victorians did not think the world was flat, after all, they had a world wide Empire, you would have thought they would have figured it out.

      The Earth not being flat has been taken as fact for many hundreds of years, even Christopher Columbus, knew it was round, but he thought it was smaller than everyone else so if he went west he would get to India quicker than going east over land, as there was nothing but sea between Europe and India.

      He was wrong.

      And so are you.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I, for one, welcome ...

    ... the fact that our massive volcano overlord is staying quietly underwater and not doing anything much.

  13. Crisp

    "As much as we know that anything's dead, this looks dead"

    Then leave it alone!

    Never poke or make fun of dead things. People that do that are usually the first to die in horror movies.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "As much as we know that anything's dead, this looks dead"

      Or, y'know, those things which do eternal lie, in strange aeons and so on.

  14. Potemkine Silver badge
    Trollface

    Square miles? Feet

    We are in the 21st century and some are still using Imperial Units.... maybe in one century or two will the 51 US States learn to use a civilized system of measurement.

    1. Maharg

      Re: Square miles? Feet? Rule, Britannia!

      After the British defeated the French, for the 14th or 15th time, a proclamation was sent out around the world saying the British Empire had Imperial measurements and they are only for those strong of heart and mind, the world cowered in awe at the fact we managed to rule all the important bits of the world while measuring them in stupid things like Inches, Feet, Yards, and Furlongs, this was the strong of mind, no French man could figure these distances out.

      Strong of Heart came from the Imperial Pint, Gallons and Yards of Ale, No French man could drink that much, and our weapons and our men weighed Pounds and Stones, No Frenchman would dare bring something that weighed a few kilograms to a fight against something that was so heavy it was measured in Stones.

      Unfortunately because the Yanks sucked up to the French they got rid of Imperial until they realized the French drink beer in small glasses with Peach juice in and had to beg the British to let them use Pints again.

      But we said NO, you rejected the British Pint, and for that you will be punished with slightly smaller beer quantities forever! God Save the Queen!

      True Story.

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