back to article Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

Brussels has given its blessing to a Westminster scheme which will grant generous tax breaks to small video game production firms which pass a controversial "cultural test". The European Commission launched an enquiry into the government's tax plans last year because it didn't think the booming games industry really needed a …

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  1. Anonymous Blowhard

    "Milk Float Simulator" anyone?

    'nuff said.

  2. cyborg
    Trollface

    Eastenders Game

    Clearly either:

    *) Pub management simulator - try to keep ownership of The Vic for more than a month.

    *) Dating Sim - just how complicated can the familial relationships get between the incestuous members of Albert Square?

    *) Get Me To Manchester - how quickly can you get yourself into a situation where the only recourse is to leave for Manchester?

    1. davidp231

      Re: Eastenders Game

      "Get me to Manchester"

      And star in Coronation Street. Who either end up going abroad or to London...

      1. cyborg
        Trollface

        Re: Eastenders Game

        Coronation Street game options:

        *) Mini Cab simulator - can you scrape by on the meager takings from the mini cab? Manage your money so you have enough to enjoy in the Rovers - but don't have too much or you won't be able to drive!

        *) Factory Simulator - I'm seeing this like Skool Daze where you try to do as little work as possible, gossip - and go to the Rovers.

        *) Find the Cat - where is that ginger tabby? Think Where's Waldo but wandering around Corrie.

      2. h4rm0ny

        Re: Eastenders Game

        I don't watch either Coronation Street or Eastenders, but do they ever do cross-overs? I think they should do cross-overs. It would be like Avengers Assemble.

    2. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Eastenders Game

      An Eastenders Diner Dash game actually sounds quite a good idea.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Alien

        Re: Eastenders Game

        Silent Hill: Milton Keynes edition

  3. Thomas Gray

    Oooh Matron

    I could go for a Carry On... inspired MMORPG. Perhaps it could also crowdsource a solution to the problems of the NHS, thus delivering a double whammy?

    1. EddieD

      Re: Oooh Matron

      Me too - or possibly "Total Warfare - Dad's Army edition"

      1. Robert Grant

        Re: Oooh Matron

        I think Dad's Army would work better as a tower defence game.

      2. Ben Rosenthal

        Re: Oooh Matron

        Don't tell 'im your registered email address Pike@homeguard.co.uk!

  4. Gordon Pryra

    British Culture?

    Is this not an easy test to pass?

    No matter where the game is set, we either gave them straight roads at some point or we stopped the Hun from taking them over.

    1. smudge
      Facepalm

      Re: British Culture?

      And who do you think gave us straight roads?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: British Culture?

        "And who do you think gave us straight roads?"

        I think you missed Gordon's point. Which is funny, since it seems to be an example of British Culture itself ... :P

    2. Soruk

      Re: British Culture?

      > we stopped the Hun from taking them over.

      Bletchley Park: The Ultimate Turing Test.

      Build Your Own Bombe. (Be VERY careful how you spell that, especially when going near aircraft)

  5. Uffish

    Doomd

    First person morris dancing.

  6. tony2heads
    WTF?

    grand theft auto -Lambeth?

    or maybe legends of Essex

    bloody stupid idea in my opinion

    1. Shrimpling

      Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

      GTA London 1969 is the best game in the series... A modern remake would get my vote.

      1. cyborg
        Thumb Up

        Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

        Given the scope of the latest titles I really don't think a full reproduction of London would be technically unfeasable.

        1. VinceH

          Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

          ISTR a driving game called The Getaway on the PS3 (or possibly the PS2) being set in London - and it was pretty good, if memory serves. (I probably still have it, somewhere).

          So despite the mickey taking, there are existing games that would have qualified if they were being written now.

      2. Peter Simpson 1
        Alien

        Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

        Be sure to pick your target vehicle carefully. The game will only allow you to actually start hotwired cars with ignition systems manufactured by someone other than Lucas...

        // Prince of Darkness icon?

  7. John Bailey

    Croydon

    A survival horror game..

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Croydon

      "A survival horror game.."

      Where the horror *is* surviving, I take it?

      1. John Bailey

        Re: Croydon

        Nobody knows........

    2. Amorous Cowherder
      Facepalm

      Re: Croydon

      Why bother with the game, simply save your money for the number 159 night bus with me on a Friday evening from Oxford Circus!

  8. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Good for FPSes

    After you shoot the enemy in the foot they apologise to you for getting shot.

  9. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Elite?

    The original British computer game success and what sums up British culture more than "elite"?

    Alternatively - rewrite "frogger" with badgers where the aim is to get squashed

    1. nickq

      Re: Elite?

      Already in progress! Check out Frontier's website.

      Looking forward to that release.

  10. Peter2 Silver badge

    Perhaps it's intended to fight the total cultural conquest the bloody yanks have been allowed to pull off due to the death of British film and the fact that British games are basically carbon copies of american ones. I think you'd be hard pushed to find much difference other than the accent between British and American kids these days.

    As an example of what could be done in retaliation:- A Dr Who game (very popular franchise, even in the US) which visits past events that the American's have re-written in the popular imagination via hollywood and while the characters play through the plot unfolds it shows what actually happened other than the hollywood history. This is valuable because kids don't read history books to find out what actually happened, and assume that the Americans actually base their games and media on something approaching truth.

    Other cultural counterattacks could easily be mounted along similar lines.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    War games.....

    Anything involving bashing Germans, would pass this test...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: War games.....

      excuse me? we've only bashed germans a couple of times in the last hundred years. up until then we've been on pretty good terms with them.

      no. we bash the french. we always have done, we always will do. even when we were bashing germans, we took time out to give the french a sly kick in the ass, on the pretence we were stopping the germans from stealing their stuff and a lot of french ships suddenly sank with their crews still on them. we've bashed the french and they've bashed us back for nearly a THOUSAND years and it isn't going to change EVER.

      i'm looking for funding for my new game, where the object is to buy up loads of nearly abandoned french villages and open up greasy fish and chip shops in them, while avoiding crazed tractor-driving, garlic breathing zombies armed with rotten onions and incomprehensible black and white films. any donations?

      anon for obvious reasons, i don't want to be beaten to death with stale french bread sticks, tyvm.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: War games.....

        "excuse me? we've only bashed germans a couple of times in the last hundred years. up until then we've been on pretty good terms with them."

        I think we have the opportunity to do both. Our modern culture involves bashing the Krauts, and the culture in our DNA over thousands of years involves bashing the Frogs. Both are vibrant, living trends, readily exemplified in recent British art - for example Flushed Away was suitably Franco-phobic, and Chicken Run equally respectful to our German friends, yet doing so masterfully, without a single German accent.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: War games.....

          I'm German and I'm all for bashing the french in video games.

          But remember, the Brits never actually bashed the Germans in a meaningful way. The land of the brits would've been destroyed in WW1 and 2 were it not for Burger King land from overseas.

          Here in Germany we have this saying: "Das Leben ist kein Frankreichfeldzug" (Roughly translated it means "Life isn't easy"). And as is well known in every realm: German's don't get humor. We might just start our own culture checklist!

          1. Elmer Phud

            Re: War games.....

            " The land of the brits would've been destroyed in WW1 and 2 were it not for Burger King land from overseas."

            What, no mention of them damned Russkies who Hun got so annoyed with they went a bit Harpic and spunked loads and loads of peeps and stuff on?

            'Kin Merkins were just a bunch of wasteful show-offs (so my Dad told me) who decided that they just had to use a second nuke as they had one hanging about doing nothing.

    2. Soruk

      Re: War games.....

      > Anything involving bashing Germans, would pass this test...

      Your very own Torquay Hotel simulator. Choose to play the part of Basil, Sybil or Manuel. Bonus points can be awarded for annoying the German tourists.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: War games.....

        "Your very own Torquay Hotel simulator. Choose to play the part of Basil, Sybil or Manuel. Bonus points can be awarded for annoying the German tourists."

        Don't mention the war! I did; I think I got away with it!

  12. Valeyard

    Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

    ...as TWOC* 6

    (*taken without owner's consent)

    1. Flawless101

      Re: Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

      Would Grand Theft Auto - Northern Ireland get the relief?

      One such enterprising individual has prototyped the idea.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPMlWY0g6Ek

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

        GTA NI?

        Now the real map would suit the usual Rockstar game mechanic of limiting you to part of the map for the first part of the game, as (unless the situation has changed in the last 5 or so years), there are only a couple of bridges over the river bann(its a river that flows north from lough Neagh to the north coast, basically separating Derry/Londonderry from Belfast).

        Would the gaming community appreciate a game that, if rendered accurately, most common crimes are bulldozing ATMs and breaking into old peoples homes and assaulting/raping/stealing at four in the morning.

        As for Police problems (Officer Tenpenny, anyone) se this

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-26642097

        1. Elmer Phud

          Re: Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

          Still a need to get the ferry out to Glasgow.

          Packages to deliver and that . . .

    2. LesC
      Stop

      Re: Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

      TWOC*6 Road Wars Edition.

      Set in Slough / Bracknell / Reading / wherever

      Narrated by Lee Boardman.

      Now that would be some game....

  13. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

    Have you read the rules?

    They give points (you need 16 to get the cash) for games sited in Britain OR IN ANY EU COUNTRY.

    A game pushing French, German or Belgian 'culture' would qualify...

    1. Jason Hindle

      Oh, so....

      U Boat Commander would also qualify.....

      1. Aldous

        Re: Oh, so....

        Also any wargame and any CIV style game as after all we took over 2/3rds of the planet at the end of a rifle at one point. Chuck in SimCity style games as all the EU countries did a lot of building to go along with the colonizing.

        Lets see football,rugby,F1, MotoGP and cricket are covered in the UK & EU by large fan bases so thats culturally significant. Flight sims are in as aviation is a big field for Europe and shaped our culture (by importing it from the USA and flying people out to places), anything with boats is also a big one.

        Right whats left? Driving games should be fine, hard to argue EU manufacturers have not had an impact on culture. Anything involving crime should also be fine as the way that is handled impacts a country's culture significantly. Sci-fi, Horror etc all EU members have some form of home grown scene.

        Erm there has got to be genre's it doesn't apply to but surely you can twist anything into being "culturally significant" when you kind of need that anyway to have a market for the game in the first place? Even "South American Taxi Driver Simulator 2014" would sell within the EU (but the link for funding is a bit tenuous)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      lots of starting material here then?

  14. Hasham

    Boudicca: Total War

    I'm imagining wearing a Rift, while riding a chariot and scything Roman soldiers in two. I'm also imagining looking down at my boobs as they bounce from the rough terrain.

    After the battle, of course...

    1. Amorous Cowherder

      Re: Boudicca: Total War

      Yeah but then the arguments would start about how to pronounce her name! Those of us who were taught to pronounce it "bo-de-sia" or those who say "boo-dee-ka".

  15. smudge
    Pint

    Sim Scotland

    You are a bumptious leader of a Scottish Government, with a trusty sidekick. (Note to games devs - give them some funny names for the younger players - fish, for example.)

    The game starts off with an independence referendum whose result is not pre-determined.

    Then, depending on the result, you have to try to continue to govern Scotland and keep it solvent, regardless of whether it is independent or not. You have to negotiate with the evil government of your neighbour, Etonia, for money and other resources, and you have to get yourself re-elected every four years.

    The game is open-ended, but there are various scenarios which will bring it to a halt:

    - you lose an election

    - nuclear catastrophe at Dounreay or Faslane

    - the Etonians invade and successfully capture Edinburgh (although there is an alternative scenario in which the game starts with them already there, and you have to drive them out)

    - you sell the country to a consortium led by Bernie Ecclestone, a Russian oligarch and the Emir of Qatar.

    Overall design concept: Charles Rennie Mackintosh

    Artwork: Allan Ramsay (people) and William McTaggart (landscapes)

    Storylines: Sir Walter Scott and Irvine Welsh

    Music: The Peatbog Faeries, Susan Boyle, and the Shotts and Dykehead Caledonia Pipe Band.

    A Wee Eck Production.

    1. tabman
      Thumb Up

      Re: Sim Scotland

      "A Wee Eck Production"

      Brilliant, who's the leader though? Fat Boab or Daphne Broon?

    2. cyborg
      Mushroom

      Re: Sim Scotland

      I assume one of the disaster scenarios is all the whisky stills exploding.

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