back to article Move over, John Pilger, let us IT scandal-mongerers stick it to you

Many thanks to the gentle readers who wished me well over the last couple of weeks as I lay in bed watching the ceiling spin. For those of you who enjoy listening to people whose name you are familiar with but whom you don’t really know talk at length about their petty illnesses as if they were life-threatening events of …

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  1. Zog_but_not_the_first
    Happy

    Are you..

    ... the babe in arms being cossetted by DLT?

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Are you..

      Bless you for the suggestion, Zog but I would have been a tweenager at the time.

      1. Anonymous Custard

        Re: Are you..

        I thought the sprog possessed a rather scary resemblance to Saville himself, which would probably also mean that various incarnations of Dr Who around that time may also have had some explaining to do...

  2. Carpetsmoker
    Pint

    All rejoice!

    For the Dabbs is back!

    1. Anonymous Custard

      Re: All rejoice!

      And on the day of BofH outpourings too - we are doubly blessed...

  3. ukgnome

    I refuse to read this

    ....and will simply wait 2 years until Mr Dabbs is ill.

    *welcome back tecnotart

  4. Alistair
    Pint

    Welcome back, not me.

    Good to see your feeling better,

    and I'll agree the list is appropriate for recovering from online scandal.

    Mind you most public "figures" are too addicted to the "attention" to "go away" -- or to "learn how to look contrite"

    I'll raise a glass at you on a friday sir!.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Glad you're back. I thought the playmobil was a reconstruction of you on your deathbed until I read the caption.

    1. AdamT

      with the eerie green glow provided by "half life wife" ?

  6. Oninoshiko

    Can I get some clarification here?

    Are the mouth-foaming, hairy-palmed right-wingers inept losers or brilliant masters of PR?

    I've always had problems telling the difference when identifying caricatured villains.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Can I get some clarification here?

      That's correct. You understand it perfectly.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Can I get some clarification here?

        Theirs is the righteous anger spiel. The left is just as bad. They just have the psycho mother approach as they cry at being thwarted to bring GOODNESS into the world (at no additional taxpayer expense, natch) and having been made to DO THINGS to others.

  7. Arachnoid

    in order to pick up my Nexus

    See this would never had happened had you had an Apple before bed because as we know these don't have a spin factor

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: in order to pick up my Nexus

      No, it's the Higgs Boson that doesn't have any spin. Apple spin is mediated by the Reality Distortion Field, and can take any value except zero.

  8. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    WTF Dabbs!

    Why did you include that link to Breitbart? "Krauthammer on Obama's Iraq Statement: 'It's as If He's Learning How the Presidency Is Done'". I now have the terrible urge to punch neocon/WaPo opininator jaw with the force of a thousand Tyson.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'Many thanks to the gentle readers who wished me well over the last couple of weeks'

    By that I assume you mean commentards who were slightly less abusive than normal?

  10. cracked
    Gimp

    Yes, but come on ... that's only because we were all "ill" last week, and they dug up a set we'd previously done for Bill Ray.

  11. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    I misread "learn how to look contrite" - advice to the person involved in a scandal - as "learn how to cook", which was distracting, suggesting a return to public attention via guest appearances on daytime television or getting a book out for Christmas.

    But what if you are already mainly famous for cooking?

  12. Emperor Zarg
    Joke

    Euphemistic musings

    Quote - Dabbsy: "Tiger Woods’ inability to keep his nine iron sheathed"

    I'd have said it was more likely to be his putter, his 1-Wood, or if you must, his driver. Unless of course, Dabbsy actually meant Tiger was using a very short-shafted club, but that implies rather more intimate knowledge than I would have expected from him.

    1. FartingHippo
      Coat

      Re: Euphemistic musings

      Just be glad he kept his Baffing Spoon in the bag.

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