back to article JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

As we reported two days ago: Microsoft's seldom-used digital yellow pages has waded into the independence referendum with the claim that Scots will vote no and the United Kingdom will be preserved. According to the world's other search engine, some 48.1 per cent of Scots will tick the Yes box, while 51.9 per cent will …

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  1. h4rm0ny

    I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

    I'm not fine with the amount of lies and promises Alex Salmond is telling the Scottish people. He's promising things he has no power to deliver and which are, imo, pretty unlikely to happen.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

      >lies and promises Alex Salmond is telling the Scottish people

      No different to the lies and false promises told by David Cameron and his cronies to the entire UK.

      1. h4rm0ny

        Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

        Well no-one believes Cameron's lies. For some reason, Salmond's are actually given credence by a number of the 'Yes' voters.

        1. Phil W

          Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

          Because he's seen as some kind of Scottish hero by many of the 'Yes' zealots, despite not really having achieved very much and being just as much of slimey lying weasel as every other politician.

          Like you I don't object to Scottish independence, just the SNP and it's leader.

          The best effect a 'No' result could have tomorrow is causing Alex Salmond to be forced to resign.

          1. returnmyjedi

            Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

            That's a bit unfair on Salmond. He did a cracking job of getting rid of that ugly party of Aberdeenshire that folks liked to visit and replaced it with a highly exclusive golf course.

            1. Richard Taylor 2

              Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

              Absolutely. Screw us locals in favour of more hair! Independence could be great but don't believe Salmond will deliver political renewal.

              It is difficult to work out where he wants to go but public ownership of Oil and Banks (sans sense) with privatisation of public services seem to be the order of the day

          2. S4qFBxkFFg

            Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

            He's no hero, but can (along with others) be justifiably proud of his successes; he's brought the prospect of independence from laughable to within a reasonable error bar of 50%. Before that, the SNP got a majority in a parliamentary system which could be argued was specifically designed to stop any one party (i.e. the SNP) from doing so.

            Also, the best chance of him retiring (and the SNP fading away) would be a "Yes" result - it's sort of like Cancer Research - they say their goal is to put themselves out of business. OK, the SNP don't actually say that, but a lot of their voters probably think that way - once their purpose is served, what point to keeping them around?

            1. P. Lee

              Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

              I'm with bing on this one.

              I'm sure lots of Scotch think independence would be nice to have but you really need to have a war to make the realities of making it happen worthwhile. Do they want to join the Euro? That makes them vassals of the Germans and the Greeks (and any other group large enough to outvote them in Europe) rather than the English. Whoop-dee-doo. If they did go it alone, they'll have to make some major concessions to Westminster in return for not being dropped like a hot potato before they have bought the infrastructure needed to run a country alone. That will spike tax requirements and it will be a bit like Ireland - beautiful country, but its cheaper to drive from Dublin to Belfast to do your weekly shop than to do it locally. Does Scotland have a database of taxpayers? That would be non-trivial to put together in a short time. What about all those English-registered companies doing business in Scotland? None of that tax revenue is headed North.

              My guess is that they'll take the concessions offered by Cameron and say, "thank-you very-much... we'll stay." Then they'll receive some funding punishment from Westminster to even things up. Like mooting any divorce, relations will sour regardless of the outcome.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            > Like you I don't object to Scottish independence, just the SNP and it's leader.

            The great thing about independence is you can then vote for whoever you want, and not end up with David Miliband who has no interest.

            1. DrXym

              Re: > Like you I don't object to Scottish independence, just the SNP and it's leader.

              "The great thing about independence is you can then vote for whoever you want, and not end up with David Miliband who has no interest."

              You'd think so but it doesn't work that way. Look at Republic of Ireland - the Kery TD (member of parliament) only cares about Kerry, the Dublin TDs don't care about anywhere else. The independent TDs will openly blackmail the government for a new road in their constituency in return for support. Just recently, the minister of health wrote his own consituency onto a list of regions to get new healthcare centres - no rationale for this except his own self interest.

              If anything it's more corrupt because the scale is smaller and the government ability to snuff out corruption is diminished. Sometimes impartiality (or aloofness if you prefer) is an asset. It allows government to look at the big picture and be less susceptible to corruption.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: > Like you I don't object to Scottish independence, just the SNP and it's leader.

                Doesn't take a full blown government to see the way that self-serving policies appears.

                Which streets in your borough get the best service? Would they be the ones that certain council members need to keep sweet?

                I live in Barnet, by the way.

        2. AbelSoul

          Re: Well no-one believes Cameron's lies.

          If this survey is accurate, more appear to believe Cameron's lies than Slamond's

        3. Daggerchild Silver badge

          Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

          Having those three wet fish flopping around inside your borders is frankly an excellent reason to demand independance :(

          I think even the Scots know Salmond has more fire than he has fuel, but knowing isn't feeling, and most people will vote how they feel, and most is enough. If you're asking a preacher if he can back up his claims then you've misunderstood the problem.

          The United Kindgom will become a lie. The quarrelsome family splits, and dinners are eaten in silent regret. Two fists will now fight seperately.

          I can't oppose them either. I can taste the dream even from here. What needles me tho is whether this Scotch broth might have been spiked by vodka. It would be frankly *trivial* to stir this pot. I mean, the temptation alone.... *sigh*

    2. DrXym

      Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

      "I'm not fine with the amount of lies and promises Alex Salmond is telling the Scottish people. He's promising things he has no power to deliver and which are, imo, pretty unlikely to happen."

      I doubt Scotland has any chance whatsoever of making good on the Yes promises until it rejoins the EU and adopts the Euro. Up until then it won't have any banking system, no lender of last resort, capital will fly south, contracts (particularly in public services, defence etc.) will get cancelled, prices in shops will go up and the economy will tank. It might get so bad they end up crawling to the UK or Europe to bail them out (because they can't bail themselves out) and swallowing the bitter pill which comes with that.

      Salmond and the SNP are lying big time when they say it's all going to be wonderful. Aside from that even long term it won't make a damned bit of difference. Look at Ireland which is nearly 100 years independent - it's like a slightly different version of the UK where public services are crappier and everyone pays more in taxes and the daily cost of living is higher.

      1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

        Currency

        I think Scotland should abandon the British pound and switch to bitcoin.

        1. h4rm0ny
          Thumb Up

          Re: Currency

          That's... well... Actually, yes, I would like to see that! :D

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

        "Look at Ireland which is nearly 100 years independent - it's like a slightly different version of the UK where public services are crappier and everyone pays more in taxes and the daily cost of living is higher."

        Moral of the story is that where England lays its hand in "ownership" it destroys that country.

        1. M.Zaccone

          Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

          An alternative moral of the story:

          Country doesn't work right? No worries , just blame England.

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

          "Moral of the story is that where England lays its hand in "ownership" it destroys that country."

          Well, apart from the fact a Scottish king inherited the English crown, became king of both countries so in effect Scotland took over England. Then there was 13 years of Scottish Prime Ministers running the whole UK until they fucked over the economy so badly we ended up with Cameron and Clegg.

          1. veti Silver badge

            Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

            Quite. The Scots have forgotten, and not really surprising as it's 300 years now, that the Act of Union was a Scottish idea to begin with. The Empire was built mostly by Scottish merchants and bankers (and merchant bankers, but that's another story). One of the proximate drivers of the Union was Scotland's public debt, incurred in trying to build a colony of its own.

            The Union has been a great deal for Scotland; what England got out of it was mostly an end to periodic invasions from the north.

            Now, somehow that history has morphed into "centuries of oppression" by the English. I blame Mel Gibson.

      3. Awil Onmearse

        Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

        "Look at Ireland which is nearly 100 years independent - it's like a slightly different version of the UK where public services are crappier and everyone pays more in taxes and the daily cost of living is higher."

        Unsurprisingly, the Irish prefer it to being starved to death as a matter of policy, or being murdered by other means though.

      4. sawatts

        Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

        Of course, when an independent Scotland goes t!ts up, the SNP will blame Perfidious Albion anyway.

    3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

      I thought he was promising that if people make a sufficiently believable noise about voting yes then they will get more money and concessions from English taxpayers when the eventually vote no.

      Seems an eminently plausible and sound strategy.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

      "He's promising things he has no power to deliver" - while this is true, he is also promising things that he *already has the power to deliver* but under the guise of a requirement for independence!

      (e.g. oil trust, NHS)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

        Can the rest of us secede from Westminster too? Big wall and you have most of the biggest arsehats in the country contained. Job done.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

      I'm not fine with the amount of lies and promises Alex Salmond is telling the Scottish people. He's promising things he has no power to deliver and which are, imo, pretty unlikely to happen.

      Unfortunately that is how modern politics works. The unwashed masses don't want to hear the truth, they want to hear what they want to hear. The excuses come later. Isn't this how Obama does things?

      1. Martin-73 Silver badge

        Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

        I was with you till sentence the last. Been at the american right wing have ya?

    6. arrbee

      Re: I'm fine with Scottish independence if it's what they want.

      Curiously Salmond was not that popular with many of the Yes supporters until the concerted media campaign against him, whereupon I think many felt obliged to defend/support him because he had been made synonymous with voting Yes.

      I think a basic mistake of the No group, and the media, is treating this as just another party political fight - it isn't.

  2. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    Typical Microsoft ignoring the real issue

    What are El Reg's contingency plans to ensure that the sacred isle of Rockall stays British?

    1. Andy Livingstone

      Re: Typical Microsoft ignoring the real issue

      Absolutely Rock-all I should guess.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Typical Microsoft ignoring the real issue

      LOHAN repurposed with the new bigger batteries powering the laser armament.

      Not death ray, of course. Any Scots invasion attempt would be repelled the same way NATO planned to deal with the Soviet Union - bore them to death with PowerPoints. The lasers are just for pointers.

  3. Khaptain Silver badge

    I wouldn't bet on that

    Microsoft also thought that TIFKAM would be a game changer.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I wouldn't bet on that

      They need to stop asking Bing for product advice.

    2. Vic

      Re: I wouldn't bet on that

      Microsoft also thought that TIFKAM would be a game changer.

      It is a game-changer.

      This thing about games is that, when you're winning hands-down, changing the game doesn't always lead to such desirable results...

      Vic.

  4. bill 36

    If i had a vote

    I'd vote yes, only if there was a promise to adopt the euro and become a fully integrated member of the EU.

    The world is too small for Nationalism and small countries to stand apart.

    Just for the record, i think England should do the same.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: If i had a vote

      >The world is too small for Nationalism and small countries to stand apart.

      Tell that to the Swiss or the Norwegians ( there are other but they are limit Albania, Croatia, Macedonia etc or principautés Monaco, Montenegro etc)

      1. grumpyoldeyore
        IT Angle

        Re: If i had a vote

        @Khaptain - It may have crept under your radar, but Croatia joined the EU on 1 July 2013, and Albania and Macedonia are on the candidate list (the latter delayed by the Greeks in a naming dispute over the name of their country). IT angle? An IP dispute over your Nation's name....

      2. bill 36

        yes Khaptain

        but out of that lot, which ones are energy self sufficient and which ones are laundering the riches of the few?

        And Croatia is already an EU member, so that leaves a few basket cases, does it not?

        For all of its failings, the EU is still a better bet to my mind. And please note, there are no other sabres being rattled by a party in government, anywhere in Europe, that openly declares that if they win the next election they will have a referendum on EU membership.

        I firmly believe that's the wrong choice for England.

        As someone else has pointed out, the elephant in the room is Germany but whats not to like about the way that they run their economy?

        In any case, the UK and Europe were doing well before the big banks, not only in Scotland, fucked up the worlds economy.

    2. fandom

      Re: If i had a vote

      In case you really don't know, the promise is that Scotland would be expelled from the UE.

      Pretty much the same way Alger was when they got their independence from France

      Not that I see the point in voting for independence as long as you are promised not to be independent.

      1. James 51

        Re: If i had a vote

        The weather in Scotland isn't good enough for it to be part of the UE anyway. I wasn't aware France was a member either.

      2. captain veg Silver badge

        Re: If i had a vote

        Algerian independence: 1962.

        EU created: 1993.

        -A.

        1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

          Re: If i had a vote

          Algerian independence: 1962.

          EU created: 1993.

          Creation of the EEC: 1957.

          That's what Algeria left.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: If i had a vote

        In case you really don't know, the promise is that Scotland would be expelled from the UE.

        Scotland would not be expelled from the EU, since Scotland isn't a member of the EU. EU members are states, the UK is a member, and by leaving the UK Scotland would be voluntarily choosing to leave the EU and would have to apply to join in its own right as a new state.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If i had a vote

      so you'd be independent of England, but dependent on a large number of politicos in Brussels deciding your policy, including monetary policy then? So you wouldn't be independent then.

      Ok, glad we get that sorted.

      1. James 51
        Flame

        Re: If i had a vote

        I distrust Brussels less than London. There's your main problem.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: If i had a vote

          I distrust Angela Merkel much less than I distrust Farage, Cameron and Clegg. (Don't know on Miliband). There's my problem.

          And whatever anybody says, it's obvious who the biggest noise is in Brussels.

      2. Hans 1

        Re: If i had a vote

        What is the difference between elected politicos in Brussels and London ? Thought so ... Oh, I know

    4. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: If i had a vote

      bill 36,

      I'm not sure about the joining the Euro bit... There's still a very large chance that it's going to collapse or otherwise break-up in the next few years.

      There are still ways to save it (QE or Eurobonds), and in the end they'll probably do one of them, because the alternative will be going into a weekend-long crisis summit, coming out without a proper answer, and a total Eurozone banking-collapse on the Monday morning. Followed by break-up and global depression.

      Anyway, whatever Scotland does, they can't promise to join the Euro, because they can't guarantee whether they'll be allowed to join the EU. So there has to be an interim currency first. One of the reasons the rUK politicians don't want them to keep the Pound is that there'll be uncertainty for the next decade as to whether they'd leave and join the Euro, which could be very destabilising.

    5. DrXym

      Re: If i had a vote

      Becoming a fully integrated member of the EU could take years to work out even if negotiations started on Friday. I doubt the EU would grandfather in the UK opt-outs either. Imagine all the fun if Scotland was in Schengen and the UK wasn't.

      And to stand any chance of joining the euro they'd have to join the stability & growth pact and meet various economic indicators - inflation, debt-to-GDP, deficits etc. Doubt it'd happen until the economy recovered and that could take years too.

      IMO it's also pretty stupid for an independent Scotland to join even bigger power bloc where their voice is barely a squeak. Maybe they'll find common cause with the UK some of the time, but they might easily find themselves having less voice than they enjoyed before when they were part of a large state.

      1. Mike Taylor

        Re: If i had a vote

        Well, quite. From 10% of the UK, which is a big chunk of the EU, to being between Denmark and Ireland in the EU (by population).

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