back to article El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

It's official: El Reg's merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion has regained its atomic keyring capability with the arrival in our virtual emporium of the Nite Glowring. The six flavours of glowring You demanded the return of the legendary tritium-powered Traser, but sadly they'e no longer available. Instead, we've sourced …

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  1. damian fell

    Originals still going strong

    I still have some of he original Traser glowrings, still glowing away quite brightly. I'd say the ten year estimate on them was conservative to say the least

    1. KroSha

      Re: Originals still going strong

      YMMV; I found my old one recently, it has gone dark.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Originals still going strong

        YMMV; I found my old one recently, it has gone dark.

        How did you find it then? :)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Originals still going strong

        Dear Sir,

        Please find enclosed a cashiers check drawn on my account at the Central Bank of the Islamic Republic of Iran for £5,990,000. I would like to order one million (1,000,000) of your delightful (and legally exportable) Traser mini-key rings. They will make wonderful gifts for my distant relations to the west.

        Please send to:

        Mr. Michael Smith esq.

        Secret Santa Coordinator

        Complex #7, Reactor Assembly Building

        Bushehr, Iran

        B00M1E

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          Re: Originals still going strong

          Why would Iran try to obtain tritium by dogdy means when they can very easily get a container of it (or even produce it themselves) by placing a phone call, being NPT signatories and all that?

        2. Sarah Balfour

          Re: Originals still going strong

          Considering there are just shy of IRR43,000 to the £, and considering the current state of the Iranian economy, that's probably more dough than is actually circulating in Iran…

        3. tabman

          Re: Originals still going strong

          Brilliant! Genuinely made me laugh

    2. Ian K
      Headmaster

      Re: Originals still going strong

      It's more a "might start looking ropey" rather than a "will stop working after" thing; tritium has an half life of a bit over 12 years, so after that long the glowring will only be (at best) half as bright as it was originally. Dropping to a quarter as bright as it started after another 12 years, etc...

      (That's assuming the phosphor doesn't degrade, or any other factors creep in to nobble it...)

      1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

        Re: Originals still going strong

        Remember that your eyes' response to light is pretty much like the ears' response to sound - logarithmic. The bright daylight today is clocking up ~50,000 lux on my light meter whereas a room at night lit by a single light bulb may be about 100 lux or less but your eyes adapt, so a factor of 2 or 4 is no big deal.

      2. HelpfulJohn

        Re: Originals still going strong

        OOps, I should read *ALL* of the comments, first ...

    3. Haku

      Re: Originals still going strong

      I also have a couple of traser glowrings from about 15 or so years ago, still glowing but not as bright as they once did.

      They're stuck either side of a light switch now, very handy when you're coming in at night.

    4. Bob Dunlop

      Re: Originals still going strong

      Yep my original Trasers are still helping me find my keys in the dark. Must be well over 10 years.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Originals still going strong

        Mine kinda went critical. Noticed a failure to glow and the lil glass tube had somehow shattered inside the plastic casing. Not sure how that happened as the plastic still looked intact. Having lasted the prolly around 10yrs, it had served me well.

        1. chivo243 Silver badge

          Re: Originals still going strong

          @AC

          Are you from LaSalle county in Illinois? Prolly?

    5. HelpfulJohn

      Re: Originals still going strong

      "I still have some of he original Traser glowrings, still glowing away quite brightly. I'd say the ten year estimate on them was conservative to say the least"

      Half-life. The half-life of tritium is 12 years or so. That means that statistically, roughly, approximately half of the tritties should have gone "ping" and changed into helium every decade or so. Which roughly, sort of implies that the juice should kind of die in about fifty years or so. Ish. About, give or take a while.

      It's all very quantum and probabilistic and stuff, involving the weak force,, but these things might visibly glow in the dark for a century or more. They'll just glow less and less brightly as time goes on.

      It's entirely possible that the phosphors are set up to be super-saturated at birth, so the first decade or more is just un-flattening the top of the brightness curve and no *noticeable* change in brightness will be seen for a couple of decades. At least, that's how I would design them.

      Just remember, if you have one of these things you are carrying around a thermonuclear device, a nuclear reactor and a generator of beta-rays.

      Cool, yes?

  2. Kaltern

    An elegant keyring for a more civilized age

    The Force is strong with these.

    1. HelpfulJohn

      Re: An elegant keyring for a more civilized age

      "The Force is strong with these."

      Uhhn, no. The force is weak in them and needs intensive training.

  3. AdamT

    Wait, what?

    You are not allowed to ship the larger one world wide but you can ship the smaller one? What if some nefarious overseas individual buys two of the smaller ones? Or even a whole box full?

    TRIIITTIIIAAMMMMAGEDDDON !11!!!!11

    Oh, my bad. Here I was assuming the export restriction rules might actually be based on common sense...

  4. Smiles
    Thumb Up

    Mine work too

    I bought several in about 2000, all but one are still as bright as the day I bought them. Quite like the new colours though...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mine work too

      all but one are still as bright as the day I bought them

      You have just broken the law of conservation of energy and the weak force. I don't know whether to be cross with you or impressed.

      illegible squiggle pp God.

    2. Sarah Balfour

      Re: Mine work too

      So do I, but the two shades of blue look identical to me, and why can't I have a large green one…?

      1. John Gamble
        Go

        Re: Mine work too

        "...and why can't I have a large green one…?"

        Because the Guardians of the Universe forbid it.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Nite Glowing"

    Why does it say "Nite Glowring" and not "The Register" or something? (I can't buy it anyway, not in the UK)

    1. Boothy

      Re: "Nite Glowing"

      Or even Night, seen as Nite isn't even a real word!

  6. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
    Stop

    Errr....

    I'm pretty sure they sell exactly the same thing at the cash desk of Cotswolds outdoor in Chichester for £1.99.

    /* Just saying... */

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Errr....

      Maybe, but think of the drinks you will be taking from the mouths of El Reg staffers...

      1. Boothy
        Pint

        Re: Errr....

        hmm, drink... Back in a sec, fridge raiding time

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    4 minutes from order confirmation to shipped.. something fishy there.

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      It's not fishy-

      It's ATOMIC POWERED!!

      Whizz for Atomms!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Maybe they employ an atomic-powered workforce.

    3. Shady

      Maybe it was an Atomic transaction. Did you buy anything else or did you order it in Isolation? The packaging should be be Durable at least, and customer service at the El Reg grotto is nothing if not Consistent.

  8. Tomislav

    Furthermore you can get it on ebay and, lo and behold, they ship worldwide...

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/NITE-TRITIUM-GLOWRING-KEYRING-GADGET-MINI-GLOW-IN-THE-DARK-RING-KIT-MARKER-STICK-/400310733263?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&var=&hash=item5d346109cf

    1. imanidiot Silver badge

      They only have pink in (limited) stock. Rest is sold out.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They might SHIP it worldwide, but that doesn't mean us Murcans would ever see it ARRIVE.

    3. SniperPenguin

      Translation

      @Tomislav

      I think El Reg mean "Our supplier can't be arsed to ship worldwide"

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Translation

        We don't care if other suppliers are shipping to the USA. But they are flouting US law...

        1. Martin-73 Silver badge

          Re: Translation

          US law is silly. Video at 11

  9. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Ahem, excuse me...

    I've been wondering - how many of these do I need to buy to build a thermonuclear device to destroy the world?

    1. Ashton Black

      Re: Ahem, excuse me...

      I take it you're just asking for a friend?

      1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

        Re: Ahem, excuse me...

        Absolutely! I would think of doing no such thing myself! He-he. He-he-he...

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon
          Headmaster

          Re: Ahem, excuse me...

          "He-he. He-he-he..."

          Shouldn't that be more like "Mwah-ha-ha-harr!"?

          1. Captain DaFt

            Re: Ahem, excuse me...

            Underlings laugh,"He-he. He-he-he..."

            Masterminds laugh,"Mwah-ha-ha-harr!"

            Obviously, he's the underling being used as a cats-paw by his master.

            1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

              Re: Ahem, excuse me...

              "Obviously, he's the underling being used as a cats-paw by his master."

              Or so you'd like to believe... He-he. He-he-he...

    2. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Try lithium deuteride instead

      The fission explosion creates a burst of neutrons that smash lithium into tritium and helium. This gets you your fission fuel when you need it without the hassle of trying to store a radioactive cryogenic liquid.

      1. xenny

        Re: Try lithium deuteride instead

        It turns out that tritium is actually rather handy for getting better performance out of a typical nuclear weapon, which in turn lets you build a smaller/lighter thermonuclear weapon.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Try lithium deuteride instead

          However, you need an awful lot of tritium and it is a little hard to handle in these quantities. When we had 500Ci or so on site I did actually calculate what volume it would occupy if converted to tritium oxide, and how hot it would get if I could keep it all together long enough. It would easily fit into one of these lights, until the case either exploded or melted locally.

          Because of its short half life and low atomic mass, tritium really is very radioactive. Fortunately it benignly emits low energy electrons and does no harm till you breathe it in or swallow its oxide. If it is bound in a nonvolatile compound it's pretty harmless and the byproduct is helium 3, which is innocuous. Fortunately because the preferred route to disposal for the British government has been from Windscale sorry Sellafield straight into the Irish Sea, and the last I heard it was well into the gigaCi.

      2. Dave 32
        Mushroom

        Re: Try lithium deuteride instead

        Ah, yes, the "Castle Bravo" effect:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_Bravo

        One presumes that they've also tried Lithium Trinitide as well as Lithium Deuteride, although I couldn't find any references while doing a very quick search. ("Hi guys/gals!" I always include a friendly greeting to any spooks who may be reading my stuff, based on selected/sensitive keywords.). Then, again, most aspects of nuclear weapon design are somewhat classified, well, excepting for all of that design information on wikipedia/wikileaks/etc. :-/

        Dave

  10. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Mushroom

    Bombing of Register HQ in 5.4.3.2.1.

    So now that El Reg has joined the rogue states in going nuclear, when are the staff all going to get Kim Jong Un haircuts?

    Enquiring minds would like to know.

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Re: Bombing of Register HQ in 5.4.3.2.1.

      Patience. They still have to finish the secret submarine base under Rockall.

      Why do you think LOHAN been taking so long.

  11. McHack

    Good for homes and computer rooms

    Slip on the appropriate key and apply with 2-sided tape above the keyed switch for the generator/UPS/battery supply so you can find it when the power is cut, especially after it was left in the wrong position after the once-monthly test last done sometime last year.

    Actually a glob of silicone cement would be better, make someone work to remove it.

    Without the ring, you can use the hole to screw one to the door frame to keep the keyhole illuminated. Lots of fun possibilities.

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