back to article Mars water discovery is a liberal-muslim plot, cry moist conspiracy theorists

The announcement by NASA on Monday that Mars has flowing liquids on its surface was welcomed as tremendously exciting scientific news by intelligent and rational people. For others, it is obvious proof that the space agency is misleading the American people. Leading the pack of doubters is waning US shock jock Rush Limbaugh, …

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  1. Tim Roberts 1

    Just goes to show

    Stupidity is alive and well

    1. Frumious Bandersnatch

      Re: Just goes to show

      The downvotes you collected are further proof, should it be needed, that your thesis is correct.

      1. Yugguy

        Re: Just goes to show

        Or just the average ElReg commentard contrariness?

    2. PleebSmash
      Alien

      Disregard El Reg

      El Reg has been Compromised since the Beginning. Do not Trust it.

    3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Just goes to show

      "Stupidity is alive and well"

      It's enough to make you wonder about the efficacy of natural selection.

      BTW, is there a whoosh icon? I bet we'll need it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just goes to show

        Then I also want a SHTF icon. Animated.

      2. Ilsa Loving

        Re: Just goes to show

        Natural selection works just fine. The problem is that there is nothing to select against human stupidity. In fact, selection tends to *favour* stupidity, because stupid people tend to have more free time and more inclination for high volume reproduction. Smarter people tend to be too busy doing things that are genuinely worthwhile, and are generally less inclined to reproduce anyway because they care about the consequences.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Just goes to show

          "selection tends to *favour* stupidity, because stupid people tend to have more free time and more inclination for high volume reproduction. Smarter people tend to be too busy doing things that are genuinely worthwhile,"

          That pretty much sums up the basic premise of The Marching Morons, published in 1951 by Cyril M. Kornbluth

    4. P. Lee
      Holmes

      Re: Just goes to show

      >Stupidity is alive and well

      Someone making a very good living out of telling lies people want to hear, to gullible people?

      And how is this any different from any politician or large corporate?

      1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

        Re: Just goes to show

        "And how is this any different from any politician or large corporate?"

        You're obviously not from the United States. Six of one, half dozen of the other.

        Where else do you think those eight billion dollar campaigns funding comes from?

        The United States of America has the best government that money can buy.

        Something this US citizen noticed decades ago.

      2. Scroticus Canis
        Happy

        Re: Just goes to show @P.Lee

        And how is this any different from any religion, politician or large corporate?

        FTFY

    5. Wzrd1 Silver badge

      Re: Just goes to show

      Just think, this US citizen has to put up with this idiocy each and every day.

      Well, there is one upside, Rush is losing listeners faster than a dying rat loses fleas. The advertisers are pulling out, as they're losing customers because of his phenomenally offensive moonbats.

      1. Frosted Flake

        Re: Just goes to show

        Wzrd1

        You are just saying that because it is long overdue.

    6. hatti

      Re: Just goes to show

      Your data appears to be correct Professor Tim.

      1. Tim Roberts 1

        Re: Just goes to show

        Professor Tim... I like that, thanks! I wear that as a badge of success! Perhaps I should start my own poorly informed, uneducated, reactionary and shitty online blog to showt the evil, left wing, antichrist, anti-gun, degenerate, homo, lesbo, pinko, greenie hordes that I really mean business!

        1. hatti

          Re: Just goes to show

          Or maybe it's time to hang up the white coat and become an MP?

          Keep gathering the data

    7. Peter Simpson 1
      Trollface

      Re: Just goes to show

      Rush Limbaugh is a paranoid xenophobic fool.

      // and feels the need to constantly demonstrate that fact

      1. Fatman
        Joke

        Re: Just goes to show

        There was once a joke that went like this:

        Q: What is the difference between Rush Limbaugh, and The Hindenbegr???

        A: One is a dirigible, and the other a flaming Nazi gas bag!!!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Soo, water on Mars is some kind of liberal-muslim plot to soften us up for an alien invasion to unite mankind under a brutal dictatorship?

    There was me thinking we sent a probe to you know, probe?

    Now if I was to take the same logic and apply it to say eclipses you could argue that eclipses are caused the conservative-christians in an attempt to disprove the wiccan belief system by undermining the seasons because eclipses occur every 18 months.

    I like playing the totally bonkers game, it's fun and I don't need a tinfoil hat.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Goofing on the Losers" is one of Rush's favorite games. Ever hear of it?

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Joke

      "you could argue that eclipses are caused the conservative-christians"

      Don't be silly. Eclipses are a Muslim plot too, They start and end with crescent moons. It's obvious, innit!

  3. Notas Badoff
    WTF?

    Mars is Red!

    I had to triple check y'all hadn't written "Maoist conspiracy theorists".

    Then I read further... it's worse...

    If Rush makes me cry from my left eye, is that part of NASA's salty water conspiracy?

    If Rush makes me cry from my right eye, his conspiracy?

    If I cry from both eyes at the same time, will his brain explode, please...

    Somebody find an old recording of "GOP Love Call" crooned by Slim Reagan!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mars is Red!

      If Rush makes me cry from my left eye, is that part of NASA's salty water conspiracy?

      Rush's sarcasm, like all sarcasm, doesn't come across well in writing. I'm not a fan of Rush but it is funny to watch him bait the global warming crazies.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Mars is Red!

        That ANYone takes what he does seriously amazes me. It's all about ratings and entertainment. My Mom and I are far and away from the (US version) Right, we'd be howling.

        1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

          Re: Mars is Red!

          "That ANYone takes what he does seriously amazes me."

          Some years ago, a man I worked with looked to me while Rush was being Rush and stated, with awe in his voice, "Rush Limbaugh is a *god*".

          I replied, "If that is so, I am now officially an atheist".

      2. Uffish

        Re: Mars is Red!

        @AC I must congratulate you on your excellent sarcasm, the "I'm not a fan of Rush but..." was good but the "the global warming crazies." was sheer genius in capturing the blind, fumbling, name-calling that passes for informed debate in Mr. Limburger's audience.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mars is Red!

          I see that Rush is once again living rent-free in certain heads. He's goofing on you, and you take it "seriously." And a whole article gets written on the Reg no less, which also falls for the bait, hook line and sinker. Too easy.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mars is Red!

          the blind, fumbling, name-calling that passes for informed debate in Mr. Limburger's audience.

          Ditto to the hate spewed by the audience of Limbaugh's left-leaning name-calling doppelganger, Bill Mahr.

      3. Ian Easson

        Re: Mars is Red!

        It isn't sarcasm.

        He believes it, and the right-wing conspiracy nuts in the US literally believe everything he says.

        If you haven't figured this out by now, you need to go to the back of the class.

        1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

          Re: Mars is Red!

          "He believes it, and the right-wing conspiracy nuts in the US literally believe everything he says."

          This nearing mid 50's US citizen believed it the first time I heard that beast fart out of his mouth.

          Isn't there a comet we could bombard with him?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mars is Red!

      Don't rush to conclusions about the left/right one-dimensional spectrum for flat-earthers.

    3. T. F. M. Reader

      Re: Mars is Red!

      Liquid water is just the first step!!! NASA are presenting Mars as GREEN!!! To pander to both liberals and Muslims!!!

  4. edge_e
    WTF?

    Because I guarantee, let's just wait and see.

    Does he sell double glazing?

    1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

      Re: Because I guarantee, let's just wait and see.

      No, he distributes vitriol to anyone he dislikes.

      He distributes bullshit to his listeners.

  5. Graham Marsden
    Facepalm

    Someone's lift...

    ... is really not getting to the top floor!

    (Should I have said Space Elevator? Or would that just be another pinko-liberal, muslim-ophile conspiracy?)

    1. Grikath

      Re: Someone's lift...

      Nah, the concept of a space elevator is pretty much simply bonkers.

      (yes, feel free to downvote, peeps. after you've done the actual math, and realise people that believe in the things are applying scalar thinking to a vector problem.)

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Someone's lift...

        > applying scalar thinking to a vector problem

        Don't you mean tensor?

        Also, it's easier than the Ringworld. Let's do this!

        1. Chairo
          Happy

          Re: Someone's lift...

          Bah, all we need is to develop scrith and some way to produce it in quantity - like a matter converter. Simple (if you write a SF novel).

          Anyway, if we could develop something like scrith in this time and political climate, it would probably be locked down, stay top secret and would be available for military use only.

          1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

            Re: Someone's lift...

            "Anyway, if we could develop something like scrith in this time and political climate, it would probably be locked down, stay top secret and would be available for military use only."

            Well, that means I and my countrymen could still get it. Military use only here is pretty much WMD's. The rest requires a background investigation and a $200 tax stamp.

      2. Wzrd1 Silver badge

        Re: Someone's lift...

        "(yes, feel free to downvote, peeps. after you've done the actual math, and realise people that believe in the things are applying scalar thinking to a vector problem.)"

        Poppycock, one just needs to add one more type of unobtanium to the list.This one would be similar to the unobtanium required for bullet proof vests that would stop a .50 BMG round unnoticed, while weighing less than toilet tissue and breathes as if there is nothing present.

        So, we need infinite rigidity, while maintaining some flexibility, with negative mass.

        Yep, that describes unobtanium. Something that doesn't exist, but would make engineering easier if it did.

      3. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

        Re: Someone's lift... @Grikath

        Can you please clarify why do you think the concept of a space elevator is such a bonkers idea?

        Yes, it's clear that most people don't understand how it's supposed to work and, yes, we don't yet have the technology to build one... But, most people still don't understand how aeroplanes fly, yet it doesn't stop the airline industry from being one of the most important transportation systems in the world.

        1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: Someone's lift... @Grikath

          We STILL need to invent slood before we can make any headway

  6. LaeMing

    As usual

    There is a lot of money to be made in fruitloopery.

    1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

      Re: As usual

      Not as much, these days.

      His advertisers have been fleeing like rats from a sinking ship.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: As usual

        You keep repeating that Rush is losing advertisers, hoping against hope that it will somehow be true. Others just like you have been for decades also demanding that it be true. They and you are forever thwarted by reality. Must be tough.

        1. Burch

          Re: As usual

          Well it is true

          http://www.salon.com/2015/06/18/rush_limbaughs_downward_spiral_continues_another_demotion_another_step_to_irrelevancy_partner/

  7. hplasm
    Facepalm

    Ow!

    I read that Limbaugh thing, and now my brain is sore.

    I see now why any 'dissent' (reasonable skepticism, not GOP-style shouting) about global warming is jumped on so strongly...

    1. Marshalltown

      Re: Ow!

      The flowing Martian water thing has been evident for over a decade. Arthur C Clarke actually used the idea in a Venus Prime story before the lineations were known. I suspect that unless the "announcement" is made soonish, they will wait until the first human landings before "discovering" that huge areas of Mars are covered in dust-mantled glaciers. Those circular karsts have to be due to something other than limestone being dissolved by ground water. Sublimating ice (methane or water) is the next best explanation. Mars is adiabatically dry and cold because of the elevated southern hemisphere and polar regions. Look for the giant alien reactor there.

  8. Bota

    The Muslims may have nasa

    But aipac have congress, the judges and the white house

  9. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Devil

    I, for one, welcome our Martian Kaaba!

    Though the Hajj is going to be difficult and costly. (At least it won't be under control of our favorite rich.man wahabbi-pushers to which which we also ship several billion USD high-tech weapons at taxpayer expense because "friendship" and "reassurance against random Iran attacks." I'm not saying we should bomb, I'm just saying.)

    No, wait... Mars ... Dunes... Fremen!

    I have a butlerian feeling about this.

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