back to article Help! What does 'personal conduct unrelated to operations or financials' mean?

Help us out here readers: what on earth does “matters regarding personal conduct unrelated to the operations or financials of the Company” mean? We ask because that's the terminology F5 Networks has used to announce the departure of CEO, president and director Manuel Rivelo, effective immediately. Rivelo's successor is John …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    HR Speak

    For getting ratted at the Christmas party and taking a dump in the punch.

  2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Caught in his office

    With a 'woman of the night' by his wife?

    The possibilities are endless but that is what you get with PC speak.

    1. Anonymous Blowhard

      Re: Caught in his office

      Or maybe he was caught polishing someone else's trophy wife...

      1. D@v3

        Re: Caught in his office

        dipping his pen in company ink?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Headmaster

        Re: Caught in his office

        "Or maybe he was caught polishing someone else's trophy wife..."

        Buffing, Shirley?

        1. bpfh

          Re: Caught in his office

          He never buffed me. And stop calling me Shirley.

        2. Anonymous Blowhard

          Re: Caught in his office

          I wasn't aware she was called Shirley...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Caught in his office

      We were told to leave the office, immediately, one evening.

      We later found out that one male employee had gone up to one of the PAs, opened his trousers and asked her, what she could do with it? He quickly found out her answer, as she buzzed her boss and the guy was escorted out of the building, after we had been asked to leave...

      The big question is, what did he tell his fiancé, when he got home? "Hi honey, I got fired today."

      "Why?"

      "Erm..."

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Caught in his office

      Sounds like someone should ask Mark Hurd, isn't he the expert on these sort of things?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    er ..... what poll ?

    or is it just me ?

    1. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: er ..... what poll ?

      Oops. Forgot to turn it on. Did that now

      1. Sir Barry

        Re: er ..... what poll ?

        OK matey, shoddy work will earn you a P45

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: er ..... what poll ?

          Or a promotion, if he can blame someone else.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: er ..... what poll ?

          "OK matey, shoddy work will earn you a P45"

          Don't worry, they'll spare him the worst of the embarrassment by letting him claim he was sacked for taking the aforementioned dump in the punch and shagging a trainee from HR. At the same time.

      2. Nick Kew
        WTF?

        Re: er ..... what poll ?

        Still can't see it. Is it from a third-party site that might be ad-blocked or XSS/security-filtered out?

        What page is it on, and what are the options?

      3. streaky

        Re: er ..... what poll ?

        This one *is* related to operations..

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sneaky ploy?

    Perhaps it's an underhand way of getting him to fess up himself. Since those defamation-free weasel words could cover anything from farting in the boardroom, to banging the underage intern in a company-paid luxury hotel suite after snorting prodigious quantities of coke, they might figure that he'll be straight onto the news saying "No! No! It's nothing like that, all I did was...".

  5. Harry the Bastard

    poll theft?

    /required body

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: poll theft?

      poll tax, surely

  6. Known Hero

    Substance abuse Gambling anything they deem unworthy

  7. Alister
    Trollface

    nothing likely to incite hatred, ridicule or contempt

    That's a bit limiting. I agree with nothing likely to incite hatred, but surely a bit of ridicule or contempt is fair game?

  8. Whitter
    WTF?

    ???

    Are you allowed to sack somebody for something that seems to have had no relevance to the company?

    1. Graham Triggs

      Re: ???

      Where does it say it had no relevance to the company?

      "unrelated to the operations or financials" means that whatever happened has not - so far - had a detrimental effect to the bottom line of the company.

      But "personal conduct" could mean anything - from sexual harrassment or bullying in the workplace (which clearly has relevance and would result in disciplinary action), to drugs or criminal activity outside of the workplace, which whilst not immediately impacting the company has the potential to do so.

      What they are really trying to say is that whatever cause existed to sack the CEO, they want to reassure investors that the company itself is not on the brink of collapse.

      1. Steve Gill

        Re: ???

        Surely both sexual harassment and bullying in the workplace have operational relevance as they impact the efficiency of the affected team members.

        It has to be something that could embarrass the company, or could worry investors, but did not happen in the workplace.

    2. Fungus Bob
      Coat

      Re: ???

      "Are you allowed to sack somebody for something that seems to have had no relevance to the company?"

      It was the incident involving three goats and lacquer...

    3. shrdlu

      Re: ???

      Yes, but only if you can't find a better justification.

  9. Yesnomaybe

    Could be...

    sexual harassment.

  10. DropBear
    Devil

    Weeeeell, see, it all started with this unfortunate idea of his to to raise questions about some obscure Halon refill expenses...

  11. Richard Jones 1

    Protecting The Company

    I suspect that the words have been carefully chose to avoid any implication of problems for the company's operations. In other words 'our company financial health is rudely perfect so don't ask'. One can speculate that he did something to affect relations in one way or another, but speculation about the real issue, as ever is just that, often with no justification.

  12. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. dogged

    It means he got his cock out in a board meeting.

    1. D@v3

      that's fowl

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Gave 'em the bird

  14. John Lilburne

    It could be anything unrelated to work could cause embarrassment to the company. A joke made in poor taste, sexual infidelity, doing a George Michael, ...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Most 80s joke ever...

      "Doing a George Michael..."

      You mean he turned up to a board meeting covered in chocolate because he'd been careless with his Wispa?

  15. jake Silver badge

    Obvious answer:

    Farting about with twatter/pintpissed/farcebook & the like on company time instead of doing his "job(?)". Would be my best educated guess, anyway ...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Obvious answer:

      ...but isn't that what "CEOs" are for?

  16. Chris King

    Recreational pharmaceuticals detected in bloodstream

    Well that would explain some of the things that came out of Sequent... You know a Unix is bad when your next machine runs HP-UX and feels sane by comparison.

  17. Chris G

    Perhaps turning up for a board meeting dressed as Miss Whiplash was a bit much for them.

    Personal conduct sounds as though he has been doing something illegal or embarrassing for them.

  18. kmac499

    Believing in Evolution... (This is a US company)

  19. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

    Missing Poll Option

    I think the obvious missing poll option is some sort of sexual impropriety.

    1. John G Imrie

      Re: Missing Poll Option

      My first thought was engaging in Ugandan Discussions with his secretary

  20. AkodoGilador

    Buggering the bursar?

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085478/quotes?item=qt0213725

  21. Jungleland

    Spending all his time reading El Reg.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I suppose...

    ...he could of done a Clarkson.

  23. Pen-y-gors

    Gross Moral Turpitude?

    When I was at Uni, oooh, many years ago...the regulations stated that Professors could only be dismissed for 'Gross Moral Turpitude', which made us wonder exactly how bad something had to be before it became 'Gross'. Perhaps rogering the secretary was mere standard moral turpitude, but rogering a donkey... in the chapel...during the sermon..?

    1. Alister

      Re: Gross Moral Turpitude?

      but rogering a donkey... in the chapel...during the sermon..?

      That's a different offence... Muffin' the Mule...

      For a long time I thought Turpitude was what you used to clean paint brushes...

    2. Chris King

      Re: Gross Moral Turpitude?

      More likely copying another prof's work and passing it off as their own. That's almost a hanging offence, or at the very least they won't get invited to the departmental Christmas party for a few years.

  24. chivo243 Silver badge
    Angel

    Gotta be loss of self-control

    His kinks got the best of him... he was trying to straighten them out!

    Should have been a poll choice.

  25. Doctor_Wibble
    Headmaster

    A famous philosopher once wrote...

    Naughty naughty, very naughty...

    I'd be guessing he posted the wrong picture on the wrong site somewhere, and didn't take it down fast enough for the wrong person not to see it. Though one does wonder why it's OK for whoever reported it to be on that sort of site but not the boss...

    'Teach' icon as it's a discipline thing. Which might be true in more ways than one! Total random speculation, it's our speciality.

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