back to article I am Craig Wright, inventor of Craig Wright

"If you are going through hell, keep going." – Albert Einstein, 1991. I remember reading that quote on a motivational poster somewhere or other many years ago. I have carried it with me uncomfortably ever since. There's no easy way to fold a poster into your pocket. I think I am now finally at peace with what old Bertie meant …

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  1. caffeine addict

    What?

    At least one of us needs more coffee...

    1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

      Or someone's had *too* much coffee...

      1. Mike 125

        Or someone's had *too* much coffee...

        Or someone's had too *much* coffee...

        I love these preludes to figuring stuff out...!

    2. PleebSmasher
      Pint

      chain of blocks

      With all that stashed Bitcoin, one of us can get some cocaine instead.

      1. Flat Phillip

        Re: chain of blocks

        More likely a chain of bollocks, to use one of those quaint English sayings.

    3. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
      WTF?

      Explanation

      I imagine it's meant to be a parody of Craig Wright's blog posting here -

      http://www.drcraigwright.net/jean-paul-sartre-signing-significance

      1. Ole Juul

        Re: Explanation

        tl;dr

        It takes two Craigs to make one Wright.

    4. mythicalduck
      WTF?

      At least it's not just me. Thought my brain had rotted from staring at this computer too long...

      Depressingly, the latter might still be true

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Basically, in real life, some publicity-seeking person called "Craig Wright" claimed they were "Satoshi Nakamoto", the inventor of Bitcoin, they came up with a load of crypto nonsense to "prove" it, and they managed to persuade a bunch of mainstream media of this. Of course, they came out in a blaze of publicity in the mainstream media without posting all the crypto "proof" online, with just one stage-managed "proof" demo in front of a couple of "experts" who obviously missed the hole in the "proof".

        This is the Reg's parody of that.

        (The BBC News front page is still saying that "Craig Wright" will come up with "extraordinary proof" "soon". If he had such proof, why hasn't he done it already? Perhaps he doesn't have such proof, and just wants to prolong the media spotlight on himself and avoid everyone knowing he's a fraud? It's easy to claim you'll come up with proof even if you can't. And actually, IMO the real Satoshi Nakamoto knows enough about crypto that they could have conclusively proved their identity the first go, they wouldn't need time to come up with a second proof).

        1. Captain DaFt

          meh

          I figured that the whole "I am Craig Wright and I invented Bitcoin, here's some dubious proof" thing was just a rather lame attempt to smoke out the real Satoshi Nakamoto.

          After all, why would the real Satoshi Nakamoto even want people to know who he is? He'd end up going through the hell of having his entire life placed under a microscope, and every minor defect plastered all over the media.

          1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

            Re: meh

            If I were Satoshi Nakamoto right now (I'm not) then I'd be rummaging in the toolbox for a set of wire cutters while holding my internet feed in the other hand.

            Ah, got the#%D%C%^&577v76vuui NO CARRIER

    5. streaky

      Well I thought it was hilarious and I've only had 5 hours sleep in 4 days so maybe the no sleep is the answer.

      Whoever actually invented bitcoin has spent so long hiding they're now, in fact, irrelevant no matter who they are.

  2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    "If you are going through hell, keep going." – Albert Einstein, 1991.

    Einstein died in 1955.

    What does the rest of the article mean? Has someone finally let amanfrommars write more than comments?

    1. h4rm0ny
      Black Helicopters

      Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

      1. Chemical Bob

        Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

        I don't know about that but I'm your uncle.

        1. Fungus Bob

          Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

          Same here.

        2. Dippywood

          Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

          Surely Bob's your uncle.

          Don't call him Surely, though.

    2. werdsmith Silver badge

      Einstein died in 1955.

      No not that Albert Einstein.....

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Inaccuracies

      I am Albert Einstein and I did say that in 1991 and again in 1996.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Time is a relative concept, you just need the right reference frame.

      We are Craig Wright and all your block chains are belong to us.

    5. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      "If you are going through hell, keep going." – Albert Einstein, 1991.

      Different Albert Einstein. And he was quoting Winston Churchill.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I think that little

      oversight, set the tone for the rest of the "article".

      NB, isn't a crucial part of a hacks job to check A: the validy of facts and B: to proof read the article before posting it.

      We all make mistakes, but fucking hell guys.. Thats not an error, error is insuffieicent an adjective to describe what complete bollocks that is.

      NB Seems its not THE Albert Enstein so apologies, as for the remainder of the story: TL:DR

      1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

        Re: Albert

        "Seems its not THE Albert Enstein"

        Was it Albert Einstein, creator of Albert Einstein?

    7. RoastedGarlic

      No, no, he pronounces it "Albert Ayne-steen"

    8. Roj Blake Silver badge

      As Einstein himself famously said, "most of the stuff on the internet is made up"

  3. Blofeld's Cat

    Always look on the bright side ...

    "No, I am Brian Craig White, and so's my wife."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Always look on the bright side ...

      What would Brian Boitano do?

      1. Mike Tubby

        Re: Always look on the bright side ...

        What would Chuck Norris do??

        1. TheOtherHobbes

          Re: Always look on the bright side ...

          Nothing.

          We are all Craig Wright.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Always look on the bright side ...

            This is the castle of my master, Cray de Wryyy.

            Who are you?

  4. Phil W

    I am Satoshi Nakamoto and so is my wife.

    Alternatively for the older generation...

    You are Satoshi Nakamto and I claim my five pounds.

    1. Seajay#

      Life of Brian came out in 1979. If you were old enough to go to the cinema then, you ARE the older generation.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      As a younger generation user...

      Sykes?

    3. Stoneshop

      My name is Craig Wright. You killed my blockchain. Prepare to die.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can I state for the record that I am in fact Sparticus and so is my wife?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, you can't.

      Because I'm Spartacus.

      1. BurnT'offering

        We are all Spartacus

        In a distributed fashion

        1. Eddy Ito
          Coat

          Re: We are all Spartacus

          Would that make us a Sparticluster?

      2. XSV1

        No. I am Albert Einstein and I never said that!

        1. Ole Juul

          Je suis Craig. . . . I think.

          1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

            I am confused ...

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Confused

              "I am confused......"

              You are confused! Think yourself lucky. There are 727 Craig White's listed on LinkedIn and I bet many of them are having a really wonderful day. (Mind you, serves them right for registering on LinkedIn).

              1. Mark 85

                @EastFinchleyite -- Re: Confused

                Only 727 of them? "Will the real Craig White please stand up?" Oh... they all did.

            2. energystar
              Coffee/keyboard

              I am mathematically confused...

              Should go back to college.

          2. Baskitcaise
            Happy

            Je suis Craig. . . . I think.

            Therefore I am, Wright.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Post Bank Holiday BBQ food poisoning?

    S'the only excuse I can see for publishing what I assume is meant to pass for humour.

    1. Dr Spork
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Post Bank Holiday BBQ food poisoning?

      Maybe an exhibition analysis into what passes for investigative "tech (sic) reporting" at the BBC these days?..

      "Gosh, that sounds awfully technical: Can you put your hand on your heart and promise me it's true?"

  7. jake Silver badge

    Bloody hell ...

    Someone's on something I can't afford. Nor would I use it if I could.

    Hopefully the inmates aren't in charge of the encryption asylum ... although, seeking reality, it would seem that they are. And manglement are allowing it through sheer incompetence.

  8. Dr Paul Taylor

    null output

    $ base64 craig.txt > craig.txt

    Not sure what shell you're using, but base64 and sort trash the output file before reading the input.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: null output

      the hash also seems to be from that null output...

      if you just enter:

      shasum -a 256

      and hit ctrl-D for EOF, you get:

      e3b0c44298fc1c149afbf4c8996fb92427ae41e4649b934ca495991b7852b855 (what is posted in the article)

      if you do it with the correct text, e.g. with

      base64 craig.txt | sort | shasum -a 256

      you get:

      f647315455eba713c5b2ed7a77f878b5327dd60a111231af6da41dcf41a4a675

      honestly can't tell if this article is satire or not

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