Give us a break: Next Android version to be called 'KitKat' Google has announced that the next version of its Android operating system will be codenamed "KitKat", after the iconic chocolate-covered wafer candy bar. Photo of the KitKat mascot among the Android lawn statues The Chocolate Factory needs a break from 'Jelly Bean', it seems Previously, the leading speculation among the …
Of all the forms of snobbery, surely chocolate snobbery is the saddest.
This is a problem of taxonomy. Hershey's, Cadbury's, Nestle's, Lindt, expensive-designer-Belgian - they are called 'chocolate'. If all but one had names other than 'chocolate', nobody would think to compare them. They would just be different confections in the way we already have different confections.
It's the same in many of the arts - 'Rap' and 'Classical' are both called 'music'. About the only thing they have in common is noise. Trying to compare them is pointless.
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"N - Nutella"
Disallowed. Nutella not a snack, merely a particularly disgusting concoction that should be force-fed to all European chocolate snobs. Maybe the Italian air foce could carpet bomb Belgium with the stuff.
I'm not really one for any cholcoate spread, but at least Cadbury's do a passable chocolate spread for the kids, unpolluted with the hazelnuts, acorns and sawdust that Nutella consists of. Mind you, only to be expected, as Nutella is made by Ferrero of Ferrero Rocher fame.
It's batshit insane and I approve wholeheartedly.
"The small print
Wow this really is small print isn't it? Look how tiny it is. How are you even reading this? Come to think of it, why are you even reading this?? This is no way to spend your break! You've just read all of that stuff about how awesome the KITKAT 4.4 is and you still haven't run out and got one? Wow, tough crowd.
As soon as I finish writing this I'm gonna get one from my secret stash and go drink milk through it like a straw. I have to keep my stash secret because my grandmother looks at me all puppy eyed if I don't share it with her. Is it still puppy eyed if it's your gran? I suppose it would be gran eyed? Or granny eyed? Let's go with granny eyed. I feel like we've just coined a new phrase. Where's the 'trademark' symbol on this keyboard? Ah here it is ™. GrannyEyed™. I wonder if that's legally binding? Hey, let's see if we can get it trending! #GrannyEyed. Tweeted. The Internet has it now. It's out of our hands. I feel like we've just started something epic. Ok, well this was a lovely chat. I'm gonna go and grab that KITKAT now. Fancy a break?"
PR is getting better in some companies it seems.
Btw. Milka ( I don't know if you know this stuff, its a german brand apparently ) is a brand of Kraft Foods which is a US-based company. However in my honest opinion there is no better chocolate than Milka chocolate and I have tried a lot of chocolate by many manufacturers, including Crayola/Hersheys.
I was quite taken on Key Lime Pie. Their names have been playful so far. Why the sudden free advertising for Hershey? Makes for interesting guessing on what the next ones will be though...
Lindor, Mars Bar, Noughat, Oh Henry!, Penguin....
Unless they decide to move away from confectionary completely.
But it means quite a bit to the company that updates Android (Google). Google is American, so the tie-in to them is more with Hershey than with Nestle. They had to contact Nestle simply because they hold the global trademark on the brand. That's the way it is, take it or leave it.
Me? I frankly don't care much as I lost most of my sweet tooth years ago. I only have chocolate infrequently, usually the occasional Lindor truffle (hey, they're three for a buck, and that's more than enough for me). I've tried different kinds and brands of chocolates and frankly don't taste (or feel, as I prefer to melt it in my mouth first) much difference between them. I suppose it's a lot like beer. There are connoseiurs and then there are those who just want a quick refresher (and don't say it tastes like water--we know the difference here; water tastes like lead even out of a filter).
"But it means quite a bit to the company that updates Android (Google). Google is American, so the tie-in to them is more with Hershey than with Nestle. They had to contact Nestle simply because they hold the global trademark on the brand. That's the way it is, take it or leave it."
Well surely they should have gone for something through and through American? I'm sure Hersshey have got plenty of alternative and wholly owned brands that they apply to their disgusting, excrement flavoured mastic, and not had any embarassing need to deal with slightly suspect Swiss megacorps.
But I think that that Kit Kat was in fact perfect, in a brand name that has worldwide recognition, even if applied to completely different products. The alternative "Kisses" has no food related recognition in (say) Europe, excepet amongst a tiny handful who know it refers to a product made of mashed dead badgers and settled sewage sludges.
Having lived in California and had the dubious pleasure of tasting a Hershey Bar I realised why you always see American soldiers in films and on the News around the world giving them to the local children!
Also helps to explain the growth of terrorism,the effect it must have on any poor kid who has felt obliged to eat a whole Hershey in front of the large scary soldier that is democratising his country.
That can't be right though. As the Romans brought edible dormice and garum (which is a 'sauce' made from leaving fish guts to ferment in the sun) - and yet their empire lasted for hundreds of years, so everyone must have loved them.
Even worse, they apparently had a popular desert of pears poached in wine with custard. Yummy, but sadly it was fish sauce custard. For which the inventor should be burning in a very special hell.
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As someone with a useless liberal arts degree from a pompous college, I am naturally a complete wanker with a sad life who has nothing better to do than to poke my nose into other people's business and be offended for no good reason. Therefore, i will proceed to scream my offense at Google promoting obesity and I'm going to sue and the louder I scream, the more likely I am to get a show on ESPN.
Insincerely,
Myron Pantywayste
Nestle has a terrible reputation for all sorts of things but its profiteering promotion of baby formula in the third world in breach of WHO guidelines in particular has led to the deaths and impaired health of tens of thousands of babies.
Does Google really want to be associated with a company like Nestle?
Calling the next version KitKat may be preferable to calling it Marlborough Lights or AK47 but not much. What an idiotic decision.
I'm sure that in the US KitKat's association with Hershey's won't do much harm (even though to everyone outside the US their fare tastes of brown sick).
However, everywhere else in the world (and that really IS most places, honest!) KitKat is recognised as a Nestle product.
Nestle's long-standing aggressive marketing of baby formula (which causes poverty, malnutrition and death in the third world) has made the company a global pariah to many, and their products unacceptable in many places (including my house).
It seems an exceptionally poor choice of name to me!
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