back to article BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT

Steve Ballmer is leaving identity crisis-hit Microsoft. The software maker's chief announced his intention to retire from MS within the next year. He said: "There is never a perfect time for this type of transition, but now is the right time." Whomever the new boss of Microsoft will be, he or she has a big job ahead of them …

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  1. Jim Willsher

    Thank F***. Roll on Windows 9!!!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Windows 9: designed by new CEO Eadon.

      1. kdh0009
        WTF?

        Seriously though. Is Eadon on holiday? This forums is well onto two pages now and not a peep.

        1. Daniel B.
          Happy

          @kdh0009

          Didn't you get the memo? He's been nuked by the Vulture Masters. While they did leave what seem to be the evil versions of him, they have been clamping down on the most outright troll posts.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        You got it wrong, Eadon was kicked out by Ballmer when Ballmer decided to go.

    2. mrweekender
      Flame

      Windows 9, get real, he's getting out before they hit the wall. Microsoft are fucked and this just proves it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Windows

        @mrweekender

        Microsoft are fucked and this just proves it.

        Well, I partially agree with you.

        IMO this just proves that Ballmer lacks any vision what so ever and, as you said, is now bailing ship. But apart from that this doesn't prove anything. Let's also not forget that Ballmer was convinced that Windows Phone 7 and Windows 8 would be huge successes for Microsoft; and look where that got us.

        So, although I do share some of your criticism, let's also not forget on which "brilliant" ideas his decision to quit is based on.

        I am convinced that if they get a CEO who has a good feeling with the tech that is Microsoft, who knows what's living amongst people (end users, hobbyists, fans and professionals alike) regarding their products and who also dares listening to all those people who take time and effort to share their opinion with a company like Microsoft hoping that it might matter...

        If they can get someone like that onboard then I honestly think we might see a huge comeback. They do totally crazy stuff, they're not at all competitive right now, but if there's one thing Microsoft does have it's potential.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Appalling that he's retiring.

      He should have been sacked.

      Windows 8.x are abortions.

      Metro should be a Windows app, not the other way around.

      An abomination before God.

    4. Cave Homme
      Thumb Up

      Indeed, and "Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent " says it all really.

      1. Lazslo Anton Zapotec

        "Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent "

        Completely understandable it would initially go up. But I suspect the smart money is shorting the stock, or at least holding back their money, on the expectation that a wee glitch has been found in the manufacture of a major product about to be released.

        1. plrndl
          Linux

          Re: "Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent " @ Lazslo Anton Zapotec

          No glich in a new product could possibly be a bigger disaster than the various versions W8, on which Ballmer "bet the firm".

      2. Ralph B
        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Not really

          It's common knowledge the only thing keeping Nokia from not going the sensible Android route, was the Balmer connection.

          It's quite likely the Nokia deal will be abandoned, as will Windows Phone, Xbox and all their other failed adventures.

          This time next year, if Nokia are still around, they will likely be churning out products that CONSUMERS want, not products that MICROSOFT WANT CONSUMERS TO WANT. (there is a big difference between the two).

      3. Jamie Jones Silver badge
        Joke

        "Indeed, and "Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent " says it all really."

        Yes..... The investors are pleased to know that he's not likely to be going in the next few weeks, and could even stay as long as up to a year!!! *cough*

    5. William Donelson
      FAIL

      Too late...

      Too late…

      He’s already wrecked the company…

      Microsoft’s Downfall: Inside the Executive E-mails and Cannibalistic Culture That Felled a Tech Giant

      http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2012/07/microsoft-downfall-emails-steve-ballmer

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Too late...

        @ William Donelson quite frankly I think Gates wrecked the company by leaving the helm to Ballmer because he wanted to become "the big god of innovation" he never was. Microsoft is far from dead though.

  2. Philip Cheeseman

    About time. Maybe the new guy will start listening to the customer rather than a committee (or should that be ego). Sad to know we'll have no more chair flinging stories...

    1. tirk
      Unhappy

      "Maybe the new guy will start listening to the customer..."

      Don't hold your breath. Ballmer has surrounded himself with yes--men and they will decide (in most part) who his successor is. The best days of Microsoft are behind them.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Listen to all the customers or a committee of experts?

      Surely listening to customers is just listening to a larger committee?

      As Henry Ford said: If I gave my customers what they wanted, I'd be making faster horses.

      1. Mephistro
        Happy

        "As Henry Ford said: If I gave my customers what they wanted, I'd be making faster horses."

        Yeah, But Henry Ford didn't try to sell his customers cars with square wheels.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Coat

          Yeah, But Henry Ford didn't try to sell his customers cars with square wheels.

          That's because he had a patent on very rounded corners.

  3. Stoneshop
    Go

    They've run out of chairs?

    letters

  4. Vince

    retirement, retirement, retirement!

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      Who's the replacement?

      "Elop is, Elop is, Elop is."

      Perhaps.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Who's the replacement?

        Elop, Apotheker, Sarah Palin perhaps. interesting times ahead.

  5. Phil E Succour
    Joke

    >> Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent as this article is published

    >> following the announcement.

    Meanwhile shares in local chair manufacturers have plummeted like a stone...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There was a right time...

    About 10 years ago.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. K
    Pint

    Return of the Start Menu

    This will be a day year long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi Sinofsky and it will soon see the end of the Rebellion Ballmer!

  9. Anonymous Custard

    "There is never a perfect time for this type of transition, but now is far far too late.."

    FTFY. The stock price bounce says it all.

    Maybe some university somewhere will give him a chair or something? :)

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Nah, universities don't have the kind of office furniture budget Microsoft has.

  10. Jim_aka_Jim

    And on his last day...

    ... balck smoke comes pouring from his mouth as a devil exits his body.

    Or I hope so anyway; only logical explanation for someone destroying profits so efficiently.

  11. Alan_Peery
    Happy

    Smiley

    That's all that needs to be "said".

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ding Dong The Ballmer's Gone

    Now let's see if TPM gets dumped as well

  13. leeeeeb

    That's the way to do it, always leave on a high and with the audience wanting more.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Oh don't.

      Kicking a man when he's down is shocking.

      You wouldn't get me doing that to the creator of the masterpiece than is windows 8.

      That said, he could be replaced by she who created the Ribbon. That would make my day.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Does not matter who replaces him. Windows 7 is my last MS OS.

    1. Miek
      Linux

      Well, I want to up-vote you in principal, but, there will undoubtedly be a considerable amount of pressure on "the new guy" to deliver a Windows 9 that is what the consumer wants AND the enterprise wants, perhaps a big tickbox in "add remove windows components" called "guff" that can be unticked.

      1. Fibbles
        Joke

        " perhaps a big tickbox in "add remove windows components" called "guff" that can be unticked."

        That's not going to work. The next time the user restarts the computer they'll be greeted with the message;

        "Failed to load operating system. Insert system disc and press any key."

    2. Jo 5

      Yeah riiighht. We remember when you said that about 3.11

  15. hammarbtyp
    Thumb Up

    1st qualification for the job

    Some sort of understanding of technology and how the future is being shaped by it. Under Ballmer MS missed to many boats(internet, phones tablets) while hung on to too many sinking ships(desktop PC's). The guy in charge has to see the markets before they happen not try and muscle in years later

  16. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent

    Thus increasing the value of his retirement fund. Bummer

  17. GettinSadda

    "Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent as this article is published following the announcement."

    Wow! That's some statement about his running of the company.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Too bad

    I would have liked him to run the company further into the ground. Well, we can only hope the next one to take on the role will be equally clueless.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Ming The Merciless

    I'd always imagined his retirement would be like the final scenes of Flash Gordon, but with more chairs being thrown.

    1. Allan George Dyer
      Devil

      Re: Ming The Merciless

      But Ming always escaped for the next series...

  20. Robin

    Where do you want to go today?

    Out the door, sharpish.

  21. Aoyagi Aichou

    Good.

    Now if only it was "the right time" for Elop and this place will probably be a much happier place. Hopefully they won't replace Ballmer with some other crazy person.

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Thanks, I was trying to think of a suitable replacement

      Elop's work at Nokia is almost complete. Time to ship him back to Microsoft.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Thanks, I was trying to think of a suitable replacement

        I think the next CEO will just buy Nokia.

        Given that HTC are looking to ditch Windows Phone and Samsung are only mildly committed to Windows Phone (more like using it to extract some co-operation from Google) it makes sense.

      2. Cave Homme

        Re: Thanks, I was trying to think of a suitable replacement

        After ruining Nokia Elop will ruin MS completely.

  22. Don Jefe

    Phone Call

    Steve, hey, Bill here. Look, we both know you're not happy in this role. You've sat in the big chair for a while and I'm thinking now might be a good time to move on. You can write a book and I've got a donor facing position at the Foundation you can have if you want it.

    Let's go ahead and make the announcement this week. I'll shoot you a list of potential candidates and you can start planning your transition gala. Ok? Ok.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Phone Call

      Is the definition of a 'donor facing position' that they're planning to harvest his organs?

      Or did you mean something else, and I've just got a disturbed mind?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Phone Call

        'donor facing' means

        "Contribute N millions (where N is a very large number) or we will make all your windows systems go <redacted>"

        "S*d off Balmer"

        Balmer picks up phone.

        "Do it."

        One hour later the CEO's phone starts ringing off the hook. All their systems have blue screened and can't be rebooted.

        Companies will 'donate' lots in order to avoid this.

        anon simply due to that fact that I have to use Win7 at work.

        1. hplasm
          Happy

          Re: Donor Facing Position

          He's the guy that slices the greasy spinning meat-log.

  23. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Wait until you find out who is next

    I know it would be hard to find anybody worse but I am sure Microsoft will search diligently until they succeed.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wait until you find out who is next

      Microsoft will find someone worse. YES! Another BALLMER FAILLL!

      1. Lazslo Anton Zapotec

        Re: Wait until you find out who is next

        I predict the Board of Directors will outsource/offshore the CEO position to Infosys. What could possibly go wrong?

  24. Wibble
    Pint

    Bunga bunga party time!

    But who will be the oaf that throws chairs and phones around?

    1. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: Bunga bunga party time!

      Are you hinting they should give the role to Berlusconi? That would be ... different

      1. Mephistro
        Devil

        Re: Bunga bunga party time!

        "Are you hinting they should give the role to Berlusconi? That would be ... different"

        If they are looking for someone adept at screwing customers, Berlusconi has lots of experience in that sort of activities. And the company events would be much more interesting.

  25. Kevin Johnston

    Careful now

    While the share value may have bounced, will there be enough left of the company to drag it away from the abyss?

    With the recent impact (and reversals) of Windows8 on the PC side of things and the good old XBox180 on the console side (oops sorry, that should be XBoxOne), does MS have the will, skills and products to turn things around. The comments about Windows 9 ignore the reality that short of a Windows7 Megapack then you would be looking at a minimum of a year to put a new OS together and if it was just a tweak to Win7 how would that be a revenue source?

    Almost every successful product line has been contaminated and many of them were 4th order iterations of something that was good and right where each iteration seemed to add more baggage and less function than the one before.

    Will be interesting to see how many MS staff take advantage of the share price and do a runner.

  26. Levente Szileszky

    HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    YESSSS, finally, ABOUT FREAKIN' TIME!

    Let's slaughter the Ballmerian Chimera, let the heads roll, let Microsoft finally reinvent itself...

    ...HALLELUJAH!

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Time to bring back Stephen Elop from Nokia?

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Go

      Probably worth a bet. Nokia could get absorbed and manage the hardware division - might actually improve things if their able to piss on the Windows team from inside the tent.

    2. Cave Homme

      Time to bring back Stephen Elop from Nokia?

      That's either sarcasm or you live in another universe?

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    .... and there was much rejoicing.

    'Nuff said.

    It probably speaks volumes about Microsoft's shareholders that the chair-chucking gorilla has lasted as long as he has.

    But then again, he's set for life so why should he care about the damage done?

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ding-dong the witch is dead

  30. Andrew Moore

    Interesting...

    ...today being National Potato Day and all that. There has to be a connection

    1. jai

      Re: Interesting...

      Well he did say "There is never a perfect time for this type of transition, but now is the right time." so i think you might be right.

    2. Wade Burchette
      Joke

      Re: Interesting...

      Maybe this is Steve Ballmer 2.0?

      http://a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/eb0a_portal_2_potatos_science_kit_anim.gif

  31. TRT Silver badge
    Devil

    Never waiting for perfection, just doing it now because...

    A bit like the OS release schedule then.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Tremors III - Return to Perfection?

  32. PhilipN Silver badge

    Poisoned chalice, anyone?

    Just great. He starts a massive reorganization then buggers off to leave someone else, who probably would have done it in an entirely different way, to soldier on and explain why it failed.

    Way to go, Stevie.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Real reason

    The BBC site implies the real reason - https://twitter.com/36Sto58N/status/370908566707658752/photo/1

    For those who can't be bothered, the next news item says ""Seized pet monkey returned to owners."

  34. Tom 7

    And there was much rejoicing

    until they realised that if Balmer had realised it was time to go then MS bust be more screwed than a very screwed thing at the world marathon screwing competition.

  35. Paul Webb
    Pint

    "Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent"

    Says it all really - if it was a proper 'internetty' company then it would be 900%.

  36. Shonko Kid
    Devil

    "Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent"

    But shares in the Seattle Chair Company have just bombed :-(

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Microsoft shares are already up nearly 9 per cent"

      This could be good.

      Or it could mean they have skynet ready and are going for the big "switch on".

  37. jb99

    Back to software...

    Hopefully they'll get back to making software for computers.

    Not trying to switch to making software for phones or shiny toys.

    Not trying to build expensive hardware.

    But making great software for general purpose computers.

    Yeah, I don't expect so either

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Linux

      Re: Back to software...

      But making great software for general purpose computers.

      Well, there's a first time for everything ...

      1. Dom 3

        Re: Back to software...

        Microsoft doesn't exist to make software.

        It exists to make money for the company's owners.

  38. btrower

    Huh

    I am surprised. It is undoubtedly the best course of action, but I thought he would cling to power.

    Want somebody to really shoot the stock price through the roof? Bring back Billy. I am no fan of Mr. Gates, but I can't imagine he could do worse.

  39. Colin Ritchie
    Windows

    There is never a perfect time...

    This article from 2010 kinda points to the perfect time, about 3 years ago to be precise:

    http://www.mondaynote.com/2010/05/30/ballmer-just-opened-the-second-envelope/

    Apparently he opened the 2nd envelope twice...... he probably knew what was in the 3rd one already.

  40. N2

    Long overdue

    But was he pushed or did he fall?

  41. P_0
    Joke

    In unrelated news, shares in Redmond based chair manufacturers slumped over 10% today.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Uncle fester was no longer lighting those lightbulbs up.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "There's never a perfect time, but now is the right time"

    The first day of the job, back in 200,0 one would have thought.

  44. chiller

    Better the devil you know than the devil you don't.

    I'll risk the one I don't know thanks.

  45. Anomalous Cowshed

    Poor guy

    Poor guy - he says: "I'm off" and within minutes the US stock exchange answers "+9% = so glad to see you go, scumbag!". Way to go...

  46. TiddlyPom

    Microsoft needs to adapt to competition, learn cooperation and not be dependent on monopoly

    For as long as Steve Ballmer can remember, computer users have used personal computers are their primary computing device and these personal computers have been pre-loaded with Microsoft software. This has meant (in effect) an enforced monopoly for computer users and a guaranteed income for Microsoft. In addition, Microsoft prevented competition by rigourously enforcing their own proprietary 'standards'. Not for much longer. Many users do not have PCs any more - just phones and tablets. In addition, many of these devices are far more web centric and standards complient than any Microsoft based software. Personal Computers are not dead just yet (especially in business) but the percentage of users that cannot get their work done without Microsoft software has dropped significantly.

    In my opinion, Steve Ballmer is an inherent part of the old world and has not adapted well to the current situation. Opportunities are out there to make money across the computing world. Make Office 365 work equally well on Windows PCs, Apple Macs, Linux PCs, iPads and Android Tablets perhaps even iPhones and Android phones and you are on to a winner. Provide services that people want and can interoperate with other vendors/open source software and people will trust you. Create devices (like the XBox One) that work well as a home hub and you will make a fortune.

    Microsoft need to stop their anti-competitive practices and start working with other companies and increase their market share by creating products or services that people want - like in the good old days when Bill Gates was in charge.

  47. Frances Banana
    Holmes

    Ballmer outsmarted them ALL

    There are different ways to leave the battlefield - in glory, in shame, through the neutral door or by doing a Nero trick and burning everything.

    Stevo knew that glory isn't for him - and shame wasn't an option and neutrality has been closed by what we all know Win8 etc.

    There it is: Nero trick! ;) Reorganize the corporation, shuffle everything so that it takes at least 2 years for bean counters to provide any reliable and reasonable metrics. Leave just after.

    Pretty much: "look how nice it's burning"...

    1. pepper

      Re: Ballmer outsmarted them ALL

      So.. Steve Balmer is the Joker(from batman)?

  48. Robinson

    Really?

    Shares up 9%?

    Ahahaha. That's kind of funny.

  49. Jo 5
    Coat

    Ding dong the witch is d... oh sorry that was Thatcher.

    /coat gotten

  50. Benchops

    Retiring?

    I heard he got a job with Google.

    "WHERE DO I THROW THE CHAIR? WHERE DO I THROW THE CHAIR?"

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anyone excited to see Balmer go

    Clearly has no concept of what a nightmare executive recruitment can be. There are plenty of ways to make Microsoft worse than it is already, and precious few who can avoid them,

    1. hplasm
      Linux

      Re: Anyone excited to see Balmer go

      That's not my idea of a nightmare.

  52. xehpuk

    So when will Elop go? Nokia shares would jump 20%.

  53. Zola
    Thumb Down

    What a shame

    Now they might get someone who knows what they're doing.

  54. Jacksonville
    Go

    *Brushes up C.V.*

  55. lset

    Ugh...

    As one of my friends just pointed out, he's done a damn good job of getting rid of everyone who could have replaced him. Then he decides to jump ship. Excellent job Ballmer.

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So now we know what Eadon has been up to since he got banned. Well done, Eadon - all is forgiven.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Developers Developers Developers.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8To-6VIJZRE

    This never gets old...

  58. Daniel B.
    Devil

    Leaving the freefalling plane

    ... after dumping the fuel, blowing up the wings, and pitching it on a 90º descent with the whole tail section gone ...

    Yes, I'd also say it's about time to retire. Let the rest fall to their doom!

  59. Vociferous

    HOLY CRAP!

    WINDOWS 8 BROUGHT HIM DOWN!

    How's THAT for a resounding fiasco, when one of the largest shareholders gets [s]kicked out[/s] leaves his position as CEO as a result?

    Even Vista didn't manage that!

  60. tempemeaty

    Change or....

    What I think is likely to come about by the time of retirement is something like Ballmer remains a board member, Gates temporarily steps back into the roll of managing the company and nothing changes.

  61. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lucky guy

    He will spend his time on the beach, hopefully with lots of sunscreen on his head and listening to music on his Zune. (Yes, he has got one of the three Zune devices sold).

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: Lucky guy

      He insisted his kids have Zunes instead of iPods.... therefore, he bought all three of them.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Trollface

        Re: Lucky guy

        I wonder what the play list would be…

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Lucky guy

        Only a moron banishes competitors products from their household.

        How on earth can you expect to learn about the competition if you don't actually try them?

  62. Maharg

    Steve Ballmer and the word ‘innovate’

    Steve Ballmer quote - "Today, we are announcing a far-reaching realignment of the company that will enable us to innovate with greater speed, efficiency and capability in a fast changing world."

    this is what I think happened...

    Steve Ballmer - Quick we need to innovate, fast!

    MS dude #1 – I know, let’s get rid of the Start button!

    Steve Ballmer – Great innovation, do it with great speed!

    MS dude #2 – I don’t know, it’s been there for years, everyone knows how to use it, it doesn’t seen a good idea to completely change the basics of our most recognizable features

    Steve Ballmer - Shut up and innovate!

    MS dude #2 – it’s stupid

    MS dude #1 – it’s done!

    MS dude #2 – then un-do it

    MS dude #1 – can’t it’s to quick, its gone! I’m innovating with speed!

    Steve Ballmer - Quick we need to innovate, more, with more greater speed, fast!

    MS dude #1 – Lets just move everything about, and make it more like a tablet!

    MS dude #2 – isn’t the whole reason tables are set up and operate like that due to the restrictions of not having a keyboard and mouse?

    Steve Ballmer - Shut up, its innovation!

    MS dude #1 - It’s not just innovation! Its fast innovation!

    MS dude #2 – You’re just making changes for the sake of them!

    Steve Ballmer – No, we are innovating, with great speed!

    MS dude #1 – Innovate!

    Steve Ballmer – Yeah!

    MS dude #1 – Yeah Innovate!

    Steve Ballmer – Yeah! Purple! Make everything Purple!

    MS dude #2 – Sod it, I’m going to work for Google

    Steve Ballmer – Tiles! I want Tiles! And blocks!

    MS dude #1 – Tetris Mutha-f**ker!

    Steve Ballmer – INOVATE! WE NEED TO INOVATE! Hello is that Marketing? What’s trendy and hip? Dubstep? I don’t care what it is put it on the adverts! Yes, I want it to look like some is making an Dubstep while looking at a Windows 8 background! No not any kind of music software, just moving icons about on the desktop while wearing headphones like a DJ! No its not stupid its innovation! Yeah that’s it, Bing! Where is Bing? I need Bing! Make some swoshy colours! Cowbell! I need more Cowbell! Stick a Facespace and a Mybook on it in case people forget about the internets! Shut up its innovating!

    Bill Gates crony – WTF IS THAT?

    MS dude #1 – Windows 8, Steve made me do it.

    Bill Gates crony – change it all back, Steve, f**k off.

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bring Back Bill!

    He couldn't do worse and this could be perfect for them.

  64. An(other) Droid
    Go

    Never a perfect time to quit?

    For Steve Ballmer the perfect time was yesterday, maybe the day before.

    Icon: That's what Steve should have done long back.

  65. rcorrect

    Remind me of Saddam Hussein

    For a moment I almost felt sorry for him but then common sense kicked in.

  66. xperroni
    Big Brother

    Coincidences

    Just this morning, for no particular reason whatsoever, I was reading an article on the history of East Germany, and how its "repressive, undemocratic, illiberal, nonpluralistic character" progressively pissed people off until they started defecting in droves. Shortly thereafter the whole thing crumbled down.

    Funny coincidence, this.

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Microsoft... the Musical!

    "There is never a perfect time ... but now is the right time."

    Barry White lyrics?

  68. Spoonsinger

    Not really that good...

    Ballmer was old school who went to the femoral shiny side, (to mix metaphors). Sort of missed the plot, (but probably down to history). Shiny sells to the 'consumer', but familiarity sells to 'business'. If you have a strangle hold on one of those don't try and mix the two unless the end result is f**king top notch.

  69. W. Anderson

    Many technology people that I know think it is unfortunate that Steve Ballmer is retiring, preferring him to stay on and continue to balls up the Microsoft stumbling machine that only he knows how to do.

    I am confident that Google and Apple are also saddened by his pending departure, as he has led the effort of cementing the iOS and Android supremacy in the mobile world, and confirmed Microsoft as the laughing stock of the "trusted computing" mantra.

    Good luck Steve, We will surely miss you, throwing chairs around in rage.

  70. darklordsid

    "At an end your rule is, and not short enough it was!"

  71. beast666
    Thumb Up

    Obvious...

    Bring in Elon Musk as CEO. He will sort the shit out.

  72. Philomena Cunk

    Candidates for the job.

    Jim Allchin, Brad Silverberg, Paul Maritz, Nathan Myhrvold, Greg Maffei, Pete Higgins, Jeff Raikes, J. Allard, Robbie Bach, Bill Veghte, Ray Ozzie, Bob Muglia and Steven Sinofsky

    Oh hang on, they have all jumped the sinking ship already, the lifeboats are full....

    1. btrower

      Re: Candidates for the job.

      It could well be a sinking ship. Let's see how quickly he starts dumping his shares.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Candidates for the job.

      Maybe Microsoft could ape Apple yet again: ask for Gates' return to the position?

  73. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Here's the real deal

    Future Bloomberg headline - IBM and ORCL do battle over ailing MSFT

  74. hammarbtyp

    Coincidence but...

    First Pamela Jones of Groklaw retires and now Steve Ballmer. Could it be they were the same person? It would certainly explain Ballmers actions over the last 10 years.

  75. The Alpha Klutz

    I wonder if someone will have the balls to fix Microsoft

    or are they so dependent on holding customers hostage that it will just be business as usual.

  76. JustNiz

    "There is never a perfect time for this type of transition, but now is the right time."

    Nope, the right time was 13 years ago.

  77. TRT Silver badge

    Oh M F G

    Windows 7. Windows Update Control Panel. Point at icon, navigate, click.

    Windows 8. Windows Update Control Panel. Swipe down somewhere without an icon, navigate, click, point, navigate, click, click.

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