Are you..
... the babe in arms being cossetted by DLT?
Many thanks to the gentle readers who wished me well over the last couple of weeks as I lay in bed watching the ceiling spin. For those of you who enjoy listening to people whose name you are familiar with but whom you don’t really know talk at length about their petty illnesses as if they were life-threatening events of …
I misread "learn how to look contrite" - advice to the person involved in a scandal - as "learn how to cook", which was distracting, suggesting a return to public attention via guest appearances on daytime television or getting a book out for Christmas.
But what if you are already mainly famous for cooking?
Quote - Dabbsy: "Tiger Woods’ inability to keep his nine iron sheathed"
I'd have said it was more likely to be his putter, his 1-Wood, or if you must, his driver. Unless of course, Dabbsy actually meant Tiger was using a very short-shafted club, but that implies rather more intimate knowledge than I would have expected from him.
Just be glad he kept his Baffing Spoon in the bag.