back to article Microsoft: Flunked our test? Fear not, techies...

Microsoft knows all about second chances – just look at Windows 8.1 – and now it is giving techies who failed the Certified Professional exam the first time around another bite of the cherry. The company this month has awarded an exclusive contract to testing centre Pearson Vue; it had previously worked exclusively with …

  1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

    The scheme was started in 2005 and is revisited every now and again when Microsoft wants to <span class="strike">entice more techies to get back into the classroom</span> jack up income from training.

    FTFY.

    1. Hargrove

      and yet . . .

      despite all the training and certification, without fail when I look for a solution to whatever dysfunction I encounter in Microsoft products I invariably find that;

      1. 3,000,000 other people have encountered the same thing, many of them years ago;

      2. Microsoft's corporate site has apparently never encountered it but

      3. A hundred thousand or so helpful IT wonks have encountered something similar. . . in another operating system, or version of the operating system (Same for MSIE browser problems.)

      4. Only three of the responses are relevant. These require a recoding of the registry and various configuration files, and sacrifice of a goat.

      5. Only one of these actually works. . . or would have before the most recent automated software update.

      And nowhere, in any of the certification marching and chowder slurping does any of this appear to make the radar screen. This kind of performance would be categorically unacceptable in any other industry or business.

      1. BongoJoe

        Re: and yet . . .

        And nowhere, in any of the certification marching and chowder slurping does any of this appear to make the radar screen. This kind of performance would be categorically unacceptable in any other industry or business.

        Which describes how I feel hence my lack of enthusiasm for anything certified for the last fifteen years.

        Once upon a time I had the MCSE and the MCSD and found that what I was taught/told/indoctrinated wasn't anything like Real Life.

        My favourited was being told in a very strong manner by the twonks at Redmond that pointers weren't in VB6/VBA and thus doing "pointer stuff" wasn't possible. Despite my showing them code on how to make a binary tree they still denied it.

        It wasn't part of The Facts (TM) even though they had coded it in there themselves so I was wrong and what I was doing was Wrong and Couldn't Exist.

        Thus was the start of my falling out with Microsoft.

        1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

          Re: and yet . . .

          Bad trainers just follow the vendors course material to the letter.

          Good trainers say "${VENDOR} says it works like this. It reality, it actually works like this"

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

      3. N2
        Pint

        Re: and yet . . . @ Hargrove

        Spot on, couldn't have put it better myself.

        One upvote isn't enough have a pint, its Friday

  2. Hans 1
    Coffee/keyboard

    Easy certifications, Redmond's plan to world dominance - an entire army of bigoted point & click experts who fail to understand the most basic security measures, indoctrinated with the latest propaganda to advance Redmond's agenda.

    The army that gave rise to malware galore that benefited from a software portfolio full of security sieves, with a still dominant belief that security through obscurity is the way to go.

    Now they give looneys who failed the exam a second chance for free, since professionals are leaving the Titanic in hordes.

    Looks good on CV's? Not to the tech savvy, no!

    I'm lovin' it!

    1. Snorlax Silver badge
      FAIL

      @Hans 1

      Redmond's plan to world dominance - an entire army of bigoted point & click experts who fail to understand the most basic security measures, indoctrinated with the latest propaganda to advance Redmond's agenda.

      Powershell and server core? You ever heard of them? Didn't think so...

      Maybe you should take a 70-410 exam and learn something.

      1. Hans 1
        Windows

        Re: @Snorlax

        If you read some of my recent comments, you will notice that I know that stuff pretty well. I learned Korn shell back in the day, use mainly bash now, and PowerShell is pretty impressive and accepts much of the same syntax.

        As for server core ... its package manager lacks the functionality of a 1994 Linux distribution package manager. Remove only ... ROFLMAO - look up pkgmgr

        Now you see I know these, but seriously, who of you uses them ? Exactly, nobody uses server core, and powershell is used by Unix gurus who are tasked with fixing your point-and-click fuck ups.

        Yes, we have been telling you lot to stick to windows and desktops, brooms and sponges, but you just won't listen ...

        1. Snorlax Silver badge
          FAIL

          Re: @Snorlax

          an entire army of bigoted point & click experts who fail to understand the most basic security measures, indoctrinated with the latest propaganda to advance Redmond's agenda.

          Sorry fella, you appear to be a sad little man who doesn't see the irony in using the word "bigoted" to make a sweeping generalisation or three about a group of people who you believe are beneath you.

          If you read some of my recent comments, you will notice that I know that stuff pretty well.

          Believe me when I say that I've got better things to do than trawl through your past comments.

        2. Hans 1

          Re: Self

          What enterprise software runs on Windows Server Core ? Oracle ? DB2 ?

          Windows Server Core is yet again the admission that freetards are right, you need a modular OS that you can strip down to only the features you need. This of course means less patching is required, as there are fewer attack vectors, better performance, unused subsystems are not eating CPU cycles/wasting memory. Less patching on Windows has a much greater benefit than on *nix, because you have to reboot Windows to install patches. However, unlike Linux, on Windows, hardly anything runs on Windows Server Core, so nobody uses it.

          On paper, Server core is great, but when you compare it to the competition, not the same league. A good start, pkgmgr needs to be a CLI client to the Windows App Store, the App Store needs to house Windows server components. Server software that does not need a ui should run on server core without modification, not the case today.

          MS has already acknowledged that the Bazaar dev model is the best, software repositories are the best, OpenSource is the best model, how long till they find out that Free Software (free not as in price, no proprietary software house gets that) is the best strategy ?

  3. adnim

    Trained to use

    systems in a theoretical environment where nothing fails.

    Which is fine if everything just works.

    The problem is, when has Microsoft software just worked? OK it happens now and again so these "Pro's" are perfectly suited to such situations.

    imho, being taught how to install and configure Microsoft software does not a professional make.

    I have been banging my head against computers since 1983. I still consider myself an amateur.

    There was a time when I knew an awful lot about Microsoft software. I had no choice, most of my career has been wall to wall Microsoft with a bit of *nix thrown in.

    When doing 2nd and 3rd line support many calls came from MS certified professionals. Never having the need to seek MS certification I often wondered what MS taught these people.

    I don't mean offence or to devalue the skills of those that have MS certification. I have met many smart people, much smarter than I, with MS certs. And they agree with me that anyone who knows what they are doing, know that MS certification means Jack unless the system works.

    1. lucki bstard

      Re: Trained to use

      Correct the certs mean little without expierance.

      But they look good on your resume/CV and its something that a HR department can use to filter out applications for roles.

      For that alone they come in handy.

      1. admiraljkb

        Re: Trained to use

        10-20+ years of experience AND fresh certs - the certs mean something, namely you are continually retraining and staying up to date. 2 years and same certs, welcome to junior level ranks, but at least you stand a better chance of getting in the door than 2 years of experience and no certs. Just don't try to pass yourself off as an IT god at that point young padawan. :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Trained to use

      Best comment I've heard on this is that being a Microsoft certified whatever is a lot like being a certified expert in driving a Ford Focus. Good for you and all, but nobody really cares. Whereas an LPI level 3 cert is the equivalent of being skilled at driving an 18-wheeler: a lot harder, and people actually give a damn because not everyone can do it.

    3. N2

      Re: Trained to use

      Agreed,

      Some years ago I had to show an MCSE how to map a network drive at the command line, oblivious that it could also be achieved using the GUI at the time, but since when was that quicker.

  4. Leeroy

    I see these certifications as Windows dressing next to experience. Don't get me wrong I have a few from MS but they are not asure important as certifications from the likes of HP, Ricoh, Canon OCE, Nuance etc. It may be due to the market I work in but these companies won't even speak with you unless you have the ticks in the boxes for the specific devices you may have an issue with. It's not ideal but most of the training and exams are free, the good ones are a few hundred quid for the training and the best ones involve a week in Italy or Amsterdam.... Awesome compared to a PV test centre.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Truthfully, to be very honest, I see these certifications as a LACK of experience. Seriously: "Well applicant, I see you have the MS Office cert, so you paint by numbers then?"

      I don't know, maybe I shouldn't be so pessimistic, but I'm just in the base that sees a simple A+ to be a bizillion times more fundamental than carrying around a certification that basically states you can press F1. What's next, a certification named "RTFM"?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "...Microsoft Office Specialist exams are not included..."

    Who gives a fuck.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Second time?

    "The best drivers are generally considered to be those who passed their test on the second time of asking (ahem, this writer included)..."

    Being a cynical person, that sounded to me like an urban myth propagated by people who failed their first driving test.

    However, there does seem to be some evidence behind it: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/7260489/Safe-drivers-have-already-failed-a-driving-test.html

    1. Hans 1

      @Evile Graham Re: Second time?

      >However, there does seem to be some evidence behind it: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/7260489/Safe-drivers-have-already-failed-a-driving-test.html

      You have the balls to quote a telegraph article on this site ???? Impressed.

      Use it as a source ????? Beyond help!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @Evile Graham Second time?

        In my defence:

        - I found the article via Google.

        - The Telegraph didn't do the survey, Continental Tyres did.

        - The first search result was actually the same story in the Daily Mail, so I spared you that at least.

        1. Hans 1

          Re: @Evile Graham Second time?

          >- The first search result was actually the same story in the Daily Mail, so I spared you that at least.

          Got my upvote ;-)

  7. Fehu
    Pint

    Since someone brought up MCSD/MCSE...

    I had just taken my second full time Linux only development job and moved to a new city. So, I was looking around for a nice place to get my hair cut and stumbled on a little place with several attractive young ladies. Imagine my surprise when the one that was cutting my hair upon finding out I was a developer announced that she and the other young ladies had started taking classes for their MCSE. I know I must have looked surprised and when she asked me what I thought their job prospects would look like once they had said certification in hand I started to laugh. Worst haircut I ever got.

    A brewski and a hat was the only thing that got me through that week.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Since someone brought up MCSD/MCSE...

      So, WOW! You're stating that being in a room full of tech friendly attractive young ladies that groom their men was "just a drag"? I'm too let down to properly bash you, it's just too much. However, can you just go ahead and give the salon's address?

      This forum gets scary.

      P.S. You read like a prick.

      1. Fehu
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Since someone brought up MCSD/MCSE...

        So, wow, that's an amazing leap to equate an MCSE with being tech friendly. Quite a lot of the population can make selections from a menu. And some of them even guess which selection is appropriate occasionally. Prickish enough for you?

        Paris, cause she's attractive and tech friendly. Sort of.

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