back to article Heroic German rozzers rescue innocent lamb from sordid brothel

The German fuzz have nabbed a 25-year-old prostitute for keeping her pet lamb in the Munich brothel where she worked. Reuters reported that the woman and her lamb had been discovered during a narcotics raid, and it is understood she was briefly detained on suspicion of drug possession. Unlike the wooly situation in the UK, …

  1. king of foo

    breaking news : european dna

    New evidence suggests the Welsh are direct descendants of the Germans...

    1. Pen-y-gors

      Re: breaking news : european dna

      Na, I always thought it was the English had all that Saxon DNA

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: breaking news : european dna

        Don't be silly: the English have Saxon drugs 'n' rock 'n' roll.

        1. Matt 21
          Joke

          Re: breaking news : european dna

          Well to be fair there's no direct mention of anything which implies the sheep did anything more than stand in the corner with its eyes closed. Anyway, this brings me to my poem:

          Mary had a little lamb,

          she also had a bear.

          I've often seen her little lamb

          but I've never seen her bare.

          Unless of course you pay her, in this case.......

          Then it's more like:

          Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pale of water.

          Jack gave Jill half a crown

          and Jack got what he was after.

          I'll be here all week, so you can just be thankful that it's already Friday :-)

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: breaking news : european dna

            Mary had a little lamb.

            She also had a duck...

            1. hoverboy

              Re: breaking news : european dna

              Where might you be going with this, I wonder... :-D

          2. swampdog

            Re: breaking news : european dna

            Mary had a little lamb

            She thought it was so silly.

            She threw up into the air

            And caught it by its [kneecaps]

  2. Turtle

    All Things Considered...

    "Unlike the wooly situation in the UK, prostitution is legal in Germany, and tourists are known to flock to Munich's red light district for the shear thrill of purchasing the affection of women."

    All things considered, it's not easy to know it's a typo or intentional...

    1. Antonymous Coward
      Headmaster

      Re: All Things Considered...

      Nice catch! Took me three tries to see it :(

      "...not easy to know it's a typo or intentional" must be the understatement of the day.

    2. Peter Simpson 1
      Thumb Up

      Re: All Things Considered...

      Not so much "purchasing" as "renting", I would say.

      As opposed more rural areas, where the objects of affection are more wooly

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: All Things Considered...

        and probably more attention than affection.

  3. Blergh
    Coat

    Her name is Mary

    "The woman, who has not been named, could defend herself by claiming the lamb followed her to the brothel"

    1. TitterYeNot
      Coat

      Re: Her name is Mary

      "The woman, who has not been named, could defend herself by claiming the lamb followed her to the brothel"

      Mary had a little lamb,

      His fleece was white as coke,

      And everywhere that Mary went,

      She had a little toke.

      -

      He followed her to work one day,

      Which was against the law,

      It made the punters howl and bay,

      To see him with a whore.

      -

      And so the rozzers turned it out,

      Coz' it was a little runt...

      -

      No, no, I think I'll stop right there. I don't see a successful career writing childrens' nursery rhymes in my future somehow...

  4. frank ly

    German Law?

    "Those conditions did not include being inside a brothel, said Die Polizei."

    Everything that is not permitted is forbidden?

    1. Arnold Lieberman

      Re: German Law?

      Something like that...

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everything_which_is_not_forbidden_is_allowed

      1. Lars Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: German Law?

        Ref. the Wiki link. There seems to be good reasons to mention the definition of "jocular" for some of you.

        adjective: jocular

        fond of or characterized by joking; humorous or playful.

        "she sounded in a jocular mood"

        synonyms: humorous, funny, witty, comic, comical, amusing, chucklesome, droll, entertaining, diverting, joking, jesting, hilarious, facetious, tongue-in-cheek;

    2. Ilmarinen
      Stop

      Re: German Law?

      <quot> Everything that is not permitted is forbidden? </quot>

      This is *Exactly* the post that I was about to make.

      Do we realy want to be in "an ever closer union" with this kind of Weltanschauung ?

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: German Law?

      "Those conditions did not include being inside a brothel, said Die Polizei."

      ...the Brothel Inspector? Alex's sister?

  5. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Trollface

    The little lamb is named Birke, and is known to have a fleece as white as precipitation in the form of flakes of crystalline ice.

    Wouldn't she be called Ammonia, then?

  6. Schlimnitz

    In other news

    "Won't someone please think of the children?" now extended to baby animals...

    1. swampdog

      Re: In other news

      Queue the Frankie Boyle "Coatbridge" joke..

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Give the Polezei Credit

    At least they didn't shoot it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Give the Polezei Credit

      True, if it had been near Newcastle there'd have been helicopters and snipers.

    2. Richard Altmann

      Re: Give the Polezei Credit

      .. and let the girl go after checking her Quality of Service in how much RAM she could operate. (just to bring up an IT angle)

    3. John Tserkezis

      Re: Give the Polezei Credit

      "At least they didn't shoot it."

      Oh, I was going to ask when the BBQ is on.

      Come one, I know you were thinking it!

  8. Warm Braw

    Condoms

    Once made from sheep gut.

    Perhaps it was a hedge against latex inflation.

    Oh, and there's the joke that ends "the sheep's supposed to be dead", but you can look that up for yourselves...

  9. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. tony2heads
      Headmaster

      Re: Rimbaud

      ..' de LA fontaine'

      btw that was Villon

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  10. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Uh?

    "Reuters reported that the woman and her lamb had been discovered during a narcotics raid,"

    I've always hear about scapegoats, but it's the first time that i see a scapelamb mentioned...

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PTSD

    "during its short stay with police, the lamb felt comfortable and started drinking from a bottle"

    Poor lamb missing its carer. PTSD and it's hitting the bottle for comfort.

  13. Christoph

    Could the German police please explain exactly how a lamb is harmed by being in a brothel? Is this somehow different for it than being in any other building, and in what way?

    1. squigbobble

      Nutritional needs unmet

      The brothel had the wrong type of grass.

    2. Rainer

      If it's a residential area, you can't keep livestock there.

      Zoning regulations etc.

      AFAIK - IANTGP (I Am Not The German Police).

    3. swampdog

      Das Politzei sagt..

      Sticky wool.

  14. razorfishsl

    Childrens version -= Shawn the sheep

    Adult version = Shag the sheep

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Oi

      Lots of adults like Shawn, one of the best things on the BBC

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Childrens version -= Shawn the sheep

      Adult version = Shag the sheep"

      Define "child". Mark Behr's protagonist in "Embrace" describes his introduction to the delights of sheep at the age of 12 in a rural South African setting. Given that the book's descriptions of life in that era ring very true - then it must be presumed it was not an uncommon practice for rural boys.

      One of Stephen Fry's novels has a 15 year old boy and a horse.

      Those are the books you pick up in a charity shop in mint condition - and you can guess at which page someone decided it wasn't the "good read" the broadsheet reviews indicated.

      1. x 7

        "the delights of sheep at the age of 12 in a rural South African setting"

        Given South Africa's apartheid laws it was probably more socially acceptable (and safer) for a white lad to shag sheep than the available girls - who were likely to be the black daughters of the hired help

  15. Tromos

    ...started drinking from a bottle.

    Of mint sauce?

    1. Red Bren

      Re: ...started drinking from a bottle.

      Reminds me of Mitchell & Webb's Vet sketch

  16. Stevie

    Baa!

    Sounds like the police just wanted a cuddly pet of their own.

  17. Matt Bryant Silver badge

    Must have been for the French tourists.

    A relative was part of the British expeditionary force based in France in 1940 and was most amused to be given chits for use at the local official brothels. He was even more amused when the madame calmly listed the services that could be bought with the chits, but mentioned that livestock were not included (maybe she thought they were a Welsh regiment). When he went back through the same part of France in 1944 he found the same brothel still had all its livestock as the local German commander had ordered his troops not to harm them!

    1. swampdog

      Re: Must have been for the French tourists.

      Please persuade him to commit that to writing. Most veterans wont talk to anyone but other veterans.

      [I've spent ages writing & rewriting what I what to say]

      I'd love a BBC prog where we don't just hear about guns but about the squaddie behind the line. His day to day life. Spam, trudging, whores, music. Whatever.

  18. x 7

    Obviously you can't pull the wool over the eyes of the German rozzers.

    I heard a rumour that what gave it away was the number of punters who entered the brothel wearing wellies and jackboots, along with black leather trenchcoats

    1. swampdog

      "The Black Leather Trenchcoat".

      Timmy shuddered.

    2. Manolo
      Devil

      ... and velcro mitts.

    3. Intractable Potsherd

      Do the wellies go over the jackboots, or the other way round?

      1. x 7

        they're alternatives, but the wellies have more leg room

  19. davema

    naaaa, the little lamb was for the new zealand tourists.

  20. Frumious Bandersnatch

    Is it OK to say

    that that's one mighty cute lamb in the article?

  21. x 7

    my ex-neighbours used to rear orphaned lambs as pets. Of course they went for slaughter eventually. But while they were around Ted always reckoned they were shear delight. He had unusual ideas about them though - he always said they tasted better stuffed and spit roasted.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If it had escaped, would it be on the lamb?

  23. Michel Merlin

    Police CANNOT forbid bringing a lamb into a brothel

    Police CANNOT forbid bringing a lamb into a brothel

    ~--~--~--~--~ -~--~--~--~ -~--~--~--~ -~--~--~--~--

    « the conditions in which a lamb should be raised... did not include being inside a brothel »

    They didn't include being inside a police station either.

    Then police add « during its short stay with police, the lamb felt comfortable ». But it also "felt comfortable" with the woman in the brothel.

    In short, German law apparently doesn't forbid bringing a lamb in a brothel (or in a police station), so this incident is just one more case where the police illegally enforce their own wishes, pretending them to be the law. Police world-wide more and more override the law they are theoretically in charge of defending and enforcing.

    Versailles, Sun 24 May 2015 08:20:00 +0200

  24. Rainer

    Same as with flying, right?

    Where overweight passengers pay a premium.

    The fatter their ass, the more they pay.

  25. x 7

    was one of the girls named Bo Peep?

  26. x 7

    Mary had a little lamb

    It was a bonny sheep

    But when it grew into a ram

    Its size made Mary weep

    Mary had another lamb

    a spotty little creature

    but when she found it couldn't ram

    she sold it to the butcher

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