Clearly they need new procedures

The only way they're going to find this drive is if everyone in the TSA is made to go through their own rigorous well-honed security procedures.

They'll all stand in a line in a dark corridor somewhere where officious high-school dropouts bark orders at them like Marine Corps drill instructors with toothache. Perfume, lip balm and bottled water can be cheerily cast into the nearest trash, or alternatively, neatly wrapped in ZipLoc for posterity. The internees - sorry - fellow citizens - are ready for irradiation in the scantastic TSA-Property-tango!

All together now - grip your ID and ticket between your teeth, slither, slide and shrug off that jacket and coat; mambo those shoes on to that cute little plastic tray, shimmy your pocket change and keys right alongside. Then - and only then - slide that laptop out of its carry case, no dropping it now! All the time movin', movin', movin' to the crazy timeless beat of "You there! Faster, we ain't got all day!"

If that doesn't work; there's still time to get your green slips ready - yes, it's the sudden-death no-fruits or vegetables US VISIT Immigration challenge!