The government has placed invisible nano-tech circuitry in every box of tin-foil manufactured in the world. So all those tin-foil hats people have been wearing? Yup, you guessed it. The nano-probes migrated from the hat into their brains, turning them into raving psychotics that no one would ever believe.

After their usefulness comes to an end a switch is thrown at a sooper-seeecret bunker (located in Ohmygosh, Wisconsin!) and the hapless victim is then converted by the nano-probe infection into a black helicopter...

How's that? :)