Plan for Public Sector IT projects

1) Someone has a vague idea, the vaguer the better, can't be questioned on it then.

2) A budget is allocated according to what's available from central government ring fenced funds. £5 or £5mil, whatever we can grab with a barely plausible justification.

3) Time-scales are imposed. Deadlines often based on retirement or potential promotion prospects at a given date.

4) A project manager is assigned, usually in house promotion with no experience or ability. Often a Gym colleague. Qualifications considered a barrier to success.

5) Design is cut short cause no one knows what the problem is, let alone the solution. Holidays booked.

6) Panic sets in as 1/2 of the project time has now passed. Implementation begins of whatever has been bashed together as a best guess.

5) Implementation completed however testing has to be cut short because the deadlines been brought forward and no one thought to tell the developers.

6) Someone points out it solves a problem that didn't actually exist before the system was created.

7) The developers all go on holiday stating the need for a 'break' away from it all. Project time-scales restored to previous values.

8) One week to Project completion. The project can't be scrapped as too much time and money has been spent. Besides it might make the senior management team look silly. So the developers are told to make some quick and dirty alterations to solve some 'newly identified' problems so we can say its a success. Developers informed project needs to look the part, functionality not essential at this late stage.

9) 3 months later...

For some unknown reason It seems that the division using the new software found it necessary to employ additional staff to cope with the migration from paper based to electronic work flow. Outside consultants are brought in to evaluate the performance of this division, they recommend splitting into two groups, both need new customized software based on the original. A new project is started.....