"We can't boil an ocean?"

Surely a new one from the business lexicon of bullshit? Why can't management speak plain English anymore?

Apples vs Oranges?

I'm not sure there's too much to be learned from this report, after all, how we do biz in the UK is markedly different than how we do it than the Germans say (and I'm not getting political on your ass here) and certainly the BRIC countries. Maybe we don't virtualise as much, but of all the customers I see with "legacy" systems, they work, they're cost effective and they're reliable. In this economy, you'll need a better reason to "innovate" when systems are already good enough.

As regards Mexicans downloading all sorts, might this be because they take a slightly more ahem..."relaxed" view on licencing? Never been to or worked in Mexico, but I doubt with all their internal strife (kidnappings, gangs and drug culture) that much of the national budget is spent on software licencing compliance, a la FAST.

Move on, nothing to see here...

2012?

Don't you mean 2022 in Qatar?

CDS's

Good article Tim, some interesting thoughts there. I would however disagree with your comment that Credit Default Swaps were "that system worked for a decade". That it "worked" is a stretch, I'd probably argue that the only reason they went on so long is because there was a bit more liquidity in the system, hence it sort of hid the problem until the liquidity ran out. Fundamentally though, it's a flawed concept that got swept along in the euphoria.

For those interested in this sort of thing, I highly recommend "Inside Job". It's only 90 minutes long, and it will make your f**king bloody boil.

I would have thought this would have been more appropriate..

...for a carrier such as Aer Cunni-lingus?

No?

Coat please, goodnight! ;-)

Shame Alec Guinness Still Isn't Around..

..we could have hired him to wear a robe and wave his hand at the screen saying "this isn't the electrical retailer you're looking for"..

It's Bono's fault anyway

He clicked his fingers again and God picked Steve. Probably.

Count Eccleston Out

By his insistence on using his Salford accent for all roles (not that there's anything wrong with that mind). Can you imagine him at the Apple keynote saying "To get your tunes, you have to use t'clickwheel"?

Time for the obvious response

Kapoor's Tower is a vertical pile of shit that just doesn't fit architecturally. Just sayin'.

My 8 year old could have designed something 10 times as good for a fraction of the price. With his hands tied behind his back. And a blindfold on. And drugged. Holding a crayon with his toes.

"giant fuck-off web proxy"

+1

The joys of the English language!

And in other news...

Bear shits in woods, Dolly Parton sleeps on back, Bobby Charlton tips hairdresser. Did it need a survey to reveal the country's apathy to 3D? HD is only just becoming mainstream because the content is there, who wants to sit in front of a telly looking like Ray Charles?

Now when Babestation 3D starts, I might change my mind ;-)

Oh the irony!

Politicians telling someone else they're not fit for purpose! In the words of the great Edmund Blackadder, I'm glad I'm wearing my corset, otherwise I'm sure my sides would have split with the laughter!

"Scots say domain will pay for itself"

Loosely translated as "let's get the stupid f**king English to pay for this too!"

Get a life, Al.

Fuck off, Al. Instead of patronising us with questionable climate change mumbo jumbo, why not do something infinitely more useful and more immediate like sorting out those reckless pricks on Wall Street?

Kids would do a better job

Dunno about anyone else, but I'm sick of these financial fuckwits spunking someone else's cash chasing stupid dreams. We could do worse than get a bunch of kids in to look at the world's finances using their in built brutally honest appraisals of everything in life.

"You want us to spend money we don't have? That's stupid!"

What's this guy's secret?

Hoovering up piles of cash and not apparently too effective at what he does, looking at past articles. I'm clearly in the wrong game!

Dave Limp?

Is that his porn star name? Haw haw!!!

Damn statistics?

Yeah, but how many hits do Google and Bing/Microshite get from default home pages of web browsers?

Everything in moderation, dear friends

Most things in small doses won't cause too much harm - drinking, exercising, smoking, masturbating etc. Still, attempting them all at the same time probably isn't a bright idea.

"Journey to the cloud"?

I'm sick of hearing such vacuous and pretentious bollocks. You need to have a word with yourself, mate.

Dixons?

And a senior staffer for Dixons is the best candidate to perform this task how?

Step forward The Stath

I would have thought Jason Statham will get in there somewhere, as he's contracted to Lionsgate for some stuff, and he's a bit cockney and well, has got typecast kicking people around as a bit of a geezer.

Like others, I doubt it'll see the light of day, and if it does, it'll most likely be shite. Still, one from my very young days, so a bit nostalgic none the less ;-)

Here's hoping...

Attachmate can get rid of the dead wood on the Novell board and start making waves again with their software stack. It's never been about the technology, but the fact that Novell are classed as "legacy". Let me tell you they're not, many of their solutions are as good as, and in many cases, better than the opposition in that field.

I have a little insider knowledge as a Novell partner, and I have a good feeling about the Attachmate deal. Still, couldn't be too much worse now, could it?

Cloudy Nonsense

Anyone else think this cloud thing is a load of old bollocks? No? Just me?.....

Oi, Sony and News International!

Sky Player on PS3, please. Tout suite, there's good chaps. Sick of my Xboxed son giving me gyp over it!

Looks like

a Velux window to me!

Well that's the first part over...

..as someone who works for a Novell Partner and so therefore coat-tails on the company's success (or lack of it), I'm glad this bit is over. I'm sick of all the conjecture over the months as to where Novell was headed, so now it's private again, that might actually work out better. Novell's problem has never been the products, they're all sound and as good as (and mostly better ) than MS's equivalents. The problem is and has always been their shitty management. I hope Attachmate is a bit better at pushing said portfolio along than Ron H and his useless bum chums..

As for the MS angle, I'm told it's to do with the convenants they signed a while back about suing each other's customers, rather than anything of any great note. I doubt that Novell will just hand over Unix/Linux to MS after all of the SCO shenanigans!

Another vote for Gauntlet here!

"Valkyrie is about to die!!" - cue zillions of 10p's in the slot to try and get more health. Somehow whacking the square button on a PSP to the same end isn't quite as much fun...

So many jokes!

Oooh oooh! Where to go where others have not already tread? It seems that all the jokes about extras, credit cards etc. have already been done, so there isn't much left, except maybe:-

- You need to put a pound/euro in the door slot when you go into the data centre (non refundable)

- When IT arrives in the morning, they play musical chairs and sit wherever they can on a first come, first served basis (unless they've paid for priority desking)

- ID swipe card not working, Paddy? That'll be 50 Euro please

I'm sure I also read somewhere a while back that O'Leary had wall sockets removed so that staff couldn't charge their personal mobiles on Ryanair's expense. I imagine this is true. He's a chancer, that guy....

Not forgetting...

The Wankdorf Stadium in Austria, though I notice HuwLewis kind of beat me to it. Still, he always did have "The News", eh?

Ubuntu 10.04 kicks openSUSE's ass!

I work for a Novell partner, and I don't like openSUSE or SLED. Having used Ubuntu 10.04, Novell/SUSE need to take a long hard look at what Canonical have done with limited resources and hang their head in shame.

Where openSUSE is buggy, bloated and suffers from a lack of project focus and terminal infighting (GNOME vs KDE crew), Ubuntu turns out a lean, clean and polished distro that takes ideas that work from other places and make them work in a Linux environment (Software Centre with App Store type functionality, online updates, free (and paid for) Ubuntu One for cloud based backups, Nice toolbar integration for Facebook, PlaywithLinux etc. All slick, quick and reliable. Oh, and free.

10.04 has really raised the bar for me.

Dickhead alert!

"This is not a non-serious issue" ?

Plain English please, you pretentious dickhead!

It should be the dog's bollocks...

...as the Dear Leader gets credit for inventing everything over there (apparently he's done 18 holes of golf in 57 or something stupid), he will have invented Linux and so therefore will be the best thing since...well that nasty concrete hotel they're just getting round to finishing in the capital!

Meh....

....Natal looks better and I blinkin' hate Microsoft.....:-(

I'd be happier..

..if they made all their bloody menus the same! One for Windows, different one for Linux. A bit of continuity isn't too much to ask for, is it?

Why....

...don't you just fuck, fuck right off, you stupid woman. Look up the word "freedom" and see how your lot (which I voted for in '97 but never since) has eroded it. Come on May 2010, when we can get these bastards out!

Well.........

..you have to give them some credit for changing their mind and taking criticism on the chin. On the other hand, product quality is suffering and customers are bolting to Microsoft as fast as their legs can carry them (not that they're any better, but they are seen as the safe option). I work for a Novell and Microsoft partner, and most customers say the same thing.

Shame, really. There was a time when Novell were known for quality, reliability and good value. Now they're known for shoddy code, crap marketing and "ivory tower" upper management who've utterly lost touch with the real world.

Oh well, time to start re-skilling, I guess. There is still time to save the company - fire Hovsepian and his clique of ex-IBMers (he's had his time and things are no better than the Messmann era) and get some younger, more dynamic people who know a few things about software QA, engaging existing customers in a positive way and are willing to speculate to accumulate, namely DO SOME FUCKING MARKETING!

One bit of info probably missed off...

...and let's get the English tax payers to foot the bill! What a bunch of suckers we are!! Let's chisel the land open and push them out into the North Sea!

Hmm..more Novell bashing!

Nice review, but I am getting a little tired of the Novell bashing whenever SUSE is mentioned. So what they have a deal with Microsoft? It's helping get Linux into places it wouldn't have gotten before.

Also, Novell pay the bills of open source folks such as Meeks, Reveman (XGL creator), Friedman, Bockover etc, guys who really contribute and have visionary ideas. Get off Novell's case or pick on Red Hat and Canonical as much. No-one's perfect, but would Linux be where it is now without Novell? I think probably not.

If you dislike Microsoft (like me) and you are ethically opposed to any dealings with them, choose another distro. That's the beauty of open source. As for me, I want a good distro backed up by a healthy community and support for my business platforms as and when I need it. Novell can do that for me.

Who's surprised?

I personally train it to work in the city centre and have for the last 10 years, even before petrol prices went stratospheric. I'm not here to gloat though, just to register my annoyance at the City Council for simply not listening to people and helping businesses leave the city in droves.

Government don't get it, they're supposed to be a government OF the people, BY the people and FOR the people. They can't govern though, as they're all too busy with their noses in the trough. £3 billion? What for? They've had silly Metrolink prices for 10 years and the service has hardly moved on (unless you count building one new station next to the Hard Rock casino, big wow).

As Rik from the Young Ones said, "Let's raise the people's army and seize control of the state!"