Almost Absolutely

You were just a whisker away from quoting one of the best sketches from C4's Absolutely.

Spread alarm

then restrict personal liberties. Bait and switch, bait and switch. Nobody ever lost a vote that way and I'm not even wearing a tinfoil hat. OK. I am but that's the only way I can get a live feed from Fox News into my brane.

Well they would, wouldn't they?

Getting employers to agree to employment legislation is like getting turkeys to vote for Xmas.Try running a company with no employees and see how far that gets you.

@Mage

Cunningly ignoring the hundreds of kids who die because the US doesn't provide decent medical care for poor people. When inner city areas in the world's greatest democracy have higher still-birth rates than some African countries you know that something reeks.

More science

less partisan yack from all parties involved please.

Psychoacoustic?

Was he channelling John Lennon or just pressing record?

Typical Labour

Barclay's online banking worked before the Labour bailout. OK we still have a bank but I'd rather have a bankrupt bank with a working website which showed my savings were worth nothing.

Let's see

Gary McKinnon is either guilty or innocent. We won't know which until he is tried. If the court find him guilty they can take his personal circumstances into account. Where's the injustice?

Yesterday we were told a wonderful, loving granny has been convicted to 8 years by another cruel, undemocratic, justice system - the French. She was smuggling drugs and freely admitted it.

These aren't stories about justice, just small-minded British prejudice.

The myth of the architect

Yet another "genius" architect who knew nothing about his materials. As a piece of failed design it should be pulled down. You could rebuild it properly 5 times over for that money.

I misread this

and got "According to Tesla, the problem was discovered after a routine urine analysis", which makes more sense from a manufacturing point of view.

The Sun

I remember a story on page three about a woman who may (or more likely, may not) have flashed at her neighbour. According to the Sun she said "look at my t*ts". The asterisk was theirs not mine. What a shower of hypocritical shit. So let's applaud a random act of censorship for getting it right for once. It was bound to happen some time.

Maybe God did it

He gets cranky every time the anniversary of his son's death comes around

Channel 4 news says...

Conficker could attack well known sites or it could do nothing.

Thanks guys, my gran says it might kill her cat or send an endless stream of Portuguese gigolos round to her house.

The Lou Reed principle

as in "I'm just the water boy, the real game's not over here". It ignores the fact that people have far more choices in other areas. It seems kind of dim to assume that if you are good at science/maths you only have intelligence related to those fields and have no other choices. Take a look at the wider world and the real question is why women are more attracted to other disciplines.

Social engineering???

Come on Reg, when did you turn into Newspeak hacks? The guy was conned. Even geeks get conned.

internet censorship only applies...

... if there's a 100,000-1 chance it could f*ck up YOUR computer

I presume these guardians of our safety went through a huge number of legally acceptable steps to close down these sites

Double standards only apply to people with double standards.

All you need to do now...

is expose everyone who, for reasons I'll never understand, skew things to reflect US political, social, economic and religious biases.

Good luck guys.

OMD

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In "The Last Temptation of Christ"...

Christ was seen using what looks like an Amiga 3000 to hack into the Roman Nexus-Overlord computer. The movie was made in 1988 but the Amiga 3000 wasn't released until 1990. I'm confused.

Free Kevin Coghill

... with every unit sold.

Come on! That's funny. My Grandad's a GNR fan and he agrees.

That's how to commemorate the war dead

Here in the UK we just had a few 108 year olds breaking down in tears because the memory is still so painful. Diff'rent strokes I guess.

By my aluminium foil helmet

... I WILL BE AVENGED. I'm also wheat intolerant. I feel slightly more bloated when I eat wheat than when I take regular exercise, which I rarely do as I'm trapped in a radiation field - BY SCIENCE!!!

Just get a mongrel

and tattoo "Republicans, this is what your face looked like on November the 4th" on its arse.

Channel 5?

Is there such a thing? The airwaves can only hold so much information before they fall to earth and flop about like a Glaswegian man on incapacity benefit.

Leave it to The Onion

.. seriously

My garage cost £120,000,000,000

When you factor in the real costs. 3000 years of agriculture, 2000 years of written knowledge/education , the London flood defences, the cost of two world wars, £800 to a guy called Jerczy. It all adds up.

Nice picture

sums it all up.

Site "outed" earlier this week, arrests today

So forensic examiners are going to be looking at a surprising number of new hard drives.

What a cock-up, the mice will be furious.