Posts by Osiris

"Jobs bloodbath at Rolls"

Am I the only one that thought Stevie had gone on a killing spree from that sub-title?

NASA Deadlines

In a last ditch effort to speed up the replacement for the shuttle next year, NASA have now resorted to trying to breed a baby shuttle-plane hybrid.

Paris, because shes next to mate with a shuttle...

Shortly to man up to six-person crews

Once we have that number up a bit more, whos for hosting the next series of Big Brother up there?

Watching them drink (unrecycled, preferably) rat's piss won't be nearly as much fun as watching them being 'evicted' through an airlock each week.

A decent one at last?

If all politicians lie through their teeth, those promising to be 'whiter than white' shall be the most corrupt of all.

Conversly, if this one says he will be corrupt he might actually turn out to be half decent.

This is what happens..

when you don't put a reserve price on eBay

RE: jason

"Yes its a new round of taxation and monitoring. 'Carbon Limits' will be set for houses and if you go over certain limits you'll be charged a carbon tax etc.etc."

They could always learn from the ISP's and offer an 'unlimited' service.

The fine print shall read thus: "Boil a kettle before 2am and you will be throttled to a single dily glowing blub. If you turn on said bulb you will be cut off completely"

Ad Opportunity

Perhaps it's time for the chocolate factory to team up with a certain make of chocolate bar to overlay targetted advertising next to a certain heavenly body.

Mars or Milky way, I leave that up to them.

Goldfish

How bout making me a glow in the dark goldfish?

Fish nightlights. It's a billion dollar idea. shhhhhhh

This is a title

Optus Primus? Is that Optimus Prime's latin cousin?

Do terrorists watch Father Ted?

"FECK! Look out! It's an ARSS!"

WAG

What about Gary?

Flame on little people.

This is a title

Time to start working on that promotion.

Mines the one with the cream pies in the pockets.

All that speed....

...and nowhere to go.

I need a break

Duly forwarded to my PHB, hopfully I can get offical 'reg breaks' now - in addition to nicotine breaks

Surely

Does this mean my ID card will have a space for 'favorite porno'?

Visons of the future

Her next method to end violence to women will be seperation. All women to the east and men to the west.

Perhaps we could build a wall down the center of the country just to make sure?

And all that extra wall space for cameras! Perfect!

Population might take a bit of a hit, but im sure allowing imigrants in will solve that.

Oh if only I were joking :(

A title is required

“in every situation in which a violent rampage has occurred”, the perpetrator had an “addiction to so-called killer games”.

So what console did Genghis Khan own? Or did he just spend all his time playing GTA: Mongol?

Stop sign: Because even on horseback you race through them.

Off to the island

How much to set up a ring of these as a fence around my house?

Not quite sonic, but it'll do for now.

Mines the one with the Dharma logo on it.

@John Wells

ODFO.

How's that for text-speak?