Eh, Russia isn't nearly as much of a crime problem as Ukraine.

You're mistaken. Most of the "Russian Mafia" is actually Ukrainian.

If you look at the history of Russia, originally ,their capital was Kiev (look up Kieven Rus). Then the Mongols invaded. During the period of the Mongol Yoke, many of the Rus' fled northward, into what is now Russia -- primarily those who objected to the corrupt ways of the Mongols. Those who were ok with the corruption and outright crime stayed in Ukraine. This is the source of the enduring antipathy that the Russians have towards the Ukrainians.

And I say this as someone whose great grandparents left Ukraine for the U.S. in the first decade of the 1900's.

... because the Ukrainians are eastern Europes land-pirates.