The simplest way to solve this would be to make it law to impose a Performing Rights Society (PRS) fee on your broadband subscription. Maybe 10 quid a month?

This is the same blanket fee that is imposed on public venues to play music or films. If we can't be sure what or how much people are sharing, then at least everyone with internet access will be paying something in royalties to this organisation who then distribute the payments accordingly.

This fee would generate hundreds of millions of pounds for the industry each year. In return we should be allowed to share, copy and view as much material as we like. It seems the fairest way to me!?

Why spend 2 million quid raising the ship when you could probably spend less money and reduce the risk of damage by extending the pub around it and have it as a Viking theme pub and tourist attraction! I bet it'd also generate more revenue that way too.

The world of journalism was mildly shaken today by a further use of the word "Boffin" to conjour images of men with beards and jumpers doing things that the normally dumb general public cannot fathom. One journalist commented, "I've no comprehension of anything more than endless ramblings about Big Brother, so to see people make fuzzy pictures clear is like the reverse of doing the 10 lines of coke I've just done".

A real Astrophysicist was unavailable for interview, due to an excess of alcohol and MDMA., his jumper was also missing. Jounalists are now worried that the concept of "Boffin" is as cliched as "some hack journalist preaching to the lowest common denominator", while newspaper editors widely agreed they "didn't give a toss".

Surely all Microsoft need do is create a standards compliant browser and add a "Quirks Mode" button, which the user can press if a website looks odd, and then display pages using the old IE engine.

Even better: they should just add an attribute to the DTD that only IE 8 can read that allows developers flag pages as standards compliant. If that flag isn't there, then the page reverts to old quirky IE engine.

Therefore if every developer adds this flag, within 5 years new versions of IE need not have quirks mode as most sites would be standards compliant by then.