Posts by I didn't do IT.

Mil $pec

"the brass aren't usually happy unless tech items cost twenty times more (and, more often that not, work twenty times worse) than off-the-shelf solutions would ;)"

But that's only if their brother-in-law is the "sole source" provider of the "special" equipment...

Important and are Highly Paid?

Sorry, amanfromMars1, I'm afraid that just means that Lewis is low-paid and unimportant even from the standpoint of the management of El Reg's meager subsistance.

Icon? Checking for loose change - there's a pub open somewhere.

It's time to play LOTTO!

That's right, where the person to your left or right could make you win FABULOUS PRIZES and CASH, CASH, CASH!

- with apologies to the relevant science fiction movie...

How to make a terrorist

In order to get Something You Want(tm) from a smaller group:

* Befriend smaller target group by pointing out how similar you are against A Common Enemy(tm) and how they can only win with your help.

* Train people in the smaller group how to fight the larger, more powerful group.

* Provide the smaller group with a stick to poke the larger, more powerful group.

* Sit back and let them annoy and insult the larger group without your name getting into the papers.

* Once larger group has decided the smaller group is too much of a waste and leaves, come in and assume the smaller group is now your friend and that they will give up their weird ways and become just like you so they will buy your stuff and pay you using the Something You Want(tm).

* Act surprised when they tell you to jump off a cliff.

* Demonize the smaller group by emphasizing the differences, and infer that these make them "bad" to your population.

* Poke smaller group with stick. Repeat until they wave around the stick you gave them.

* Poke smaller group with bigger stick.

* Assist or support other (small/large) groups that are already fighting or more overtly affecting the smaller target group.

* Poke the smaller group's friends with (bigger) stick.

* Create documents spelling out like stereo instructions, how you could be "hurt badly". Leave these Plans To Hurt You(tm) laying around anyplace you can think of. Saying they were secret, stolen, and should never be read should ensure widest distribution.

* Translate documents into other languages, just in case.

* Where did I put that 2x4 support beam? Poke them, their friends, family, their pet and have your animal rights group condemn them for not protecting the pet better.

* Encourage others to stop dealing with target smaller group. Force smaller group into economic misery.

* You did send them the Plans To Hurt You(tm), right?

* Be VERY surprised when they follow one or more of the Plans To Hurt You(tm). Try to be feeding soup to lepers or reading to orphans when it happens. Bonus points if you are on TV doing this when it happens.

* Use act to go in and slap them with LOTS of little sticks. Get your friends to join in the fun.

If you did this right, you get to hang around the smaller group, get the Something You Want(tm), slap them with sticks made in your country (creating jobs!), and try to get other countries to pay for some of it. Win-Win, eh?

Joke? I am hopeful, but sometimes I wonder...

Re: Feel Like Doing That?

Yes. Indeed I do. I'm sure you don't mind that I started without the funding, do you?

Re: Not a toy

Sad to say, but all the people with the time and money that might go to this endeavor *were* the pretentious children in their day... Some of us have even grown up, in some ways... :)

Re: Asian vs. Oriental

That's because "oriental" has become a derogatory term.

A common response to calling someone from Japan or China (or of such descent) "oriental" is "I'm a person - not a rug!"

Perhaps a symptom of our PC (not computer) culture running rampant? Or just over sensitive people?

Re: need for some form or censorship

"What if someone made up a claim you abused children and you didn't do anything wrong? In such cases names are censored from the press to protect people who could be innocent."

Actually, I have yet to find a case (in the US, for over 18's) where the person being accused in given anonimity after the charge or during the proceedings... it would be the alleged "victim" that receives that benefit.

That, dear sir, is merely the mechanism that has been installed over several decades with a new veneer - used to be called "having Indian blood" or "gone native", "being a sympathizer", "being a communist", and now you will find it under "suspected terrorist" and "pedophile".

Why spend all that money you collect in taxes to "protect" people from phantoms you create when you can make them do it to themselves SO MUCH BETTER and watch them scurry around like bugs under a rock? Use the skimmed cash to buy popcorn and enjoy the show.

Re: Unwanted Signal

Actually, anything that is licensed to be sold in the US has to follow FCC Part B regulations, which state (roughly) that any "unwanted" operation caused by interference MUST be accepted by the device (and that it shouldn't cause any unwanted interference in other devices).

So you can't even get around it by hardening it against "unwanted" interference.

Re: Sarah Re Tsk?

Sarah, that would have required "research", and well... that's the whole point of the story, innit?

Re: Income from "successful" prosecutions

Like the mother of 2 convicted for over $1 million? Pretty sure that's "nada".

RIAA, MPAA, IBPF, etc. have obviously never heard the term "can't get blood from a stone"... but they seem quite happy "beating a dead horse"...

Re: Cooling @James Hughes 1

While possibly viable, the electricity would have to be stored in batteries - most military lasers operate at very short pulses (< 500ms), not giving enough time for H2O to convert to gaseous state, expand through a turbine system, and drive a generator in time for the laser to utilize that electricity generated for the same pulse (or even a subsequent pulse in the attack set)... If the plumbing system could be made lightweight enough to still take the high pressures involved safely on a aircraft.

Most of the heat is absorbed by a paraffin coat at present, which takes much more heat (at MUCH safer pressures for an airplane) than a heavy steam plumbing system. Either way, efficiency increases are better bang for the buck.

@ Chronos

OP was referring to the article, where the right Rev. will also be burning Talmuds, the Jewish religous text... or for Christians - the Old Testament.

Re: how can that be destroying the music industry?

"It provides a mechanism where a pennyless artist can upload some tracks to a billion wide audience..."

That means that the "industry" doesn't make any money off of 'em, that's how.

Icon - because I'm happy about it.

Re: All too easy to play armchair general

"...and think that we know better than those whose jobs it is to fight wars on our behalf."

Then hear it from one of those people who did the job and does know better - you won't know the half of it.

Re: Level 1

Doesn't make the CORBIS or Flickr collections liable, due to the "organization and amount"?

Oh, of course not... someone of better breeding is making money off of them, so its alright then.

Re: It stands to reason

Reason stands for no man.

Re: Terrorist Divining Rod

Actually, that was a real product that sold for over $5,000 a pop - until someone finally got some sense in the audit office and kicked them out on their ear.

Was originally used for "detecting" bombs and drugs... but didn't do any better than random searches. Surprising, eh?

Re: Don't be too proud

... of this legislative terror you have constructed. The ability to destroy a company is insignificant to the power of the F****... What? I can't say "F****" due to copyright?! Did you just bleep me, m*****f******?!?!

Re: White Russians

Obviously, you're not a golfer.

Re: Any landing

but any landing where you can fly the plane afterwards is a GREAT one!

Re: UFOs cause earthquakes

... and that they can be prevented by using sheep's bladders. QED.

Re: frustrated

"Having been attacked & robbed of an iphone by a gang, it's frustrating that nothing could be done."

That seriously sucks, dude. I feel for ya and appreciate that you place the blame on unsolved "normal, unsexy" crimes squarely where it belongs - on the Police.

If they are "too busy" to pop round to pick up and collar a thief when the stolen property is on display for sale in the front yard (still with the identifying markings and serial reported to the Police by the victim three doors down) and they are provided with photographs, GPS maps, a link to the ebay listing, etc; how can they be expected to *actually work* to find else?

Re: Sealand!

Isn't this EXACTLY the type of situation that Sealand was marketing itself as the perfect place for?

Shame about that fire, really... I wonder if it is still on the market?

Re: Expected to Do

"They were reported as missing, and the police searched for them. What else do you expect them to do?"

Obviously, the OP was lulled into apathy by the state of their own police forces. Any missing persons reports to the local plod are usually met with "meh".

Perhaps the reason for the, ahem, urgency was the tips on tantilizing Teutonic tetons?

Re: The Tipster

Odds are really, really good that either (a) the ex-wife or (b) her boyfriend (current or last weeks' ex) was the one that gave the anonymous tip.

As a single dad with only visitation, I know how "inconvenient" it is for the custodial parent if some guy she shacked up with to drop a sprog and get the welfare bonus tries to be a responsible part of the kids' lives. "Why can't he just pay up his £100 per week and sod off?" is a mantra from these women...

Some Say...

Some say his very presence makes Eric Schmidt's bones turn to jello...

And some say that Google still can't scan his image during any of their book binges...

Re: Reconciliation of test scores

Simples. Reduce the tests to 50% being the correct name on the test front (even if it is misspelled), and scores go through the roof no matter how much drool gets on the sheet...

Re: Vibrate when...

I would much rather have it vibrate to let me know I should get the flock out of where ever I am!

Re: Fastest way to women

Sadly, for some women out there (obviously not El Reg readers, I pray), that IS the fastest way to get their... attentions.

That, and if they showed the face, they would realize they already snubbed him off as a jerk last night at the bar...

Re: Standing on the shoulders

"Its a shame that such an approach becomes increasing difficult now, thanks to companies keeping one eye on their share price and another on sneering articles like this one..."

I thought it was because the failed companies are bought up by patent shill companies for pennies in the hope that someone, somewhere else will figure out how to do something even only superficially similar and then sue them into non-existance at the first chance...

Simply CAN NOT see why people aren't lining up to be the first few shot down...

Re: New Thinking

I think you will find its rather old thinking - "pod command modules" (ie - command "car") for different styles of vehicles were conceptualized back in the 40's in "popular" literature (as far as I can research). But that doesn't make it a worthless idea. :)

While the wheels of the Smart would not be viable in their current configuration for landing, it is quite possible that some modification could be implemented to lower the back wheels for a lower angle of attack approach as well as beefing up the front for the inevitable bouncing. Perhaps some sort of rotating cam system to lower and retract as needed?

As long as no effort is made to make the plane run off of the car's engine/fuel/battery and just use the control mechanisms, this could be a quite fun series of weekend projects for the next couple years.

Re: Annoyed mark

Potato, potatoe... gotta get the research from somewhere, eh lads?

Re: Gopher Suicide Hotline, can I help you?

Is it possible he was bubonically infected, and simply wanted the Kevorkian way out?

Re: tight red dress

Yeah, that might work. Would have to borrow one from the missus.

I better shave my beard first - but can I keep my moustache?

Thanks. Icon? - shaving implements. :)