* Posts by cosmo the enlightened

54 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Dec 2009

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Fly to Africa. Survive helicopter death flight to oil rig. Do no work for three weeks. Repeat

cosmo the enlightened
Facepalm

Oh well...

Anyone who has been in the Oil & Gas game long enough knows what it takes to work in Africa. I have managed IT services into several African countries in my time. Everything takes time. Everything takes grease in the gears.... EVERYTHING.

Life after Nokia: Microsoft Lumia 640 budget WinPho blower

cosmo the enlightened

Re: GUI madness

Does Win 10 not have an auto detect for type of device and create UI for appropriate device?

Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

cosmo the enlightened

But hang on, what if...

I create a Dark Matter energy field around my space ship, won't that allow me to slip seamlessly through all other particles and photons without interaction?

Ref: article the other day on two galaxies smashing together and DM passing seamlessly through with no interaction.

The BBC wants to slap a TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

cosmo the enlightened

Public Broadcast Service

I for one am happy for a TV license on a reasonable set of PBS channels and radio stations.

Where I think this all falls to madness is in the rampant over-reach of the BBC into a huge set of costly additional services and technologies that can easily be supplied by private sector companies.

The statement around the concept of a "My BBC" and viewer analytics blew my mind. What part of PBS are you struggling with Beeb?

... FFS!

HP plots Amazon assault with bellicose Helion channel army

cosmo the enlightened
Stop

fly meets

200 pound gorilla.

I'm sorry they lost me at "blah blah ecosystem blah.." HP's search for relevence continues.

The problem for the channel is that until they can offer IaaS or PaaS without bias to vendors such as HP they will always appear as something from a bygone age. Additonally, as the big cloud players are now purchasing their own data centre tin directly from the board manufacturers, the large equipement providers will also become less impactful.

Most companies will or should want to (if they have the smarts) define a method where they are not tied in to any single provider; Amazon et al. Companies should create an abstraction layer internally that allows you to chop and change cloud with no (or little) impact to the user experience. As prices race to the bottom and bounce up, and large economies of scale come into play, the ability to switch a petabyte of storage from one provider to another seamlessly will become a big deal in cost management.

Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen

cosmo the enlightened

Re: Strange picture

No, if you look through the glass on the white unit, you will see that the rest of the person is bending over and it looks like he is having a poke about the palette of white frames on the ground.

Final Windows XP Patch Tuesday will plug Word RTF vuln

cosmo the enlightened
Mushroom

We are all gonna DIE ! ! !

Dropbox erects sueball shield with new T&C and privacy legalese

cosmo the enlightened

Re: question

A recent case in Scotland would oppose this view. Plaintiff was trying to get people details from trip advisor for a bad review. Scottish courts deemed the jurisdiction of Scotland unenforcable when the data was held in the US.

It is not necessarily the contract that is the issue but the enforcable jurisdiction that will cause the hiccup.

Death of the business Desktop

cosmo the enlightened

Re: *ahem*

This is a nonsense article. The cost of thin client devices is still pretty high (especially if you want pass through graphics, any sort of caching or 3d acceleration etc etc..) .. combined with the quite ludicrously expensive and complicated licensing required for VDI implementations (including datacentre server licenses and all sorts) means that it's cheaper by far (over a 5 year desktop lifecycle) to buy a desktop.. and that won't change I think any time soon until MS themselves offer custom VDI instances to corporations in the cloud at some standard rate or other.. then it makes a ton of sense for the majority of office based "vanilla" users.

Although there are all sorts of just cool as hell hardware technologies.. the management of the clients, the running of all software successfully in the virtual world and especially the licensing on top.. means it’s pretty evil...

Unless you are a Walmart type business model or a university and so the vast majority of your people can happily live with 3 functions provided via a cheap as chips terminal device.

Smut-spreading copyright trolls told to return cash extracted from victims

cosmo the enlightened
Coat

Well...

It is a business model of sorts.

I particularly like the idea they were seeding the bit torrent.

okay I'll get me coat...

How the clammy claws of Novell NetWare were torn from today's networks

cosmo the enlightened
Happy

Re: Don't forget X

From the console, you could do the magic six finger (or in my case five finger plus nose) keystroke and enter debug on a live server. Great days, and great fun

... and old CNE who dreams of past times!

Self-healing chips survive repeated LASER BLASTS

cosmo the enlightened
Mushroom

At 6:14 pm today

Skynet will come on line for the first time

Oracle wants another go at Google over Android Java copyrights

cosmo the enlightened
Trollface

Well

It's a novel approach to their argument!

geddit?... alright I'll get my coat

Quantum crypto still not proven, claim Cambridge experts

cosmo the enlightened
Trollface

The only reason it is not proven

is because you are looking at it.

British judge: Say you're sorry Apple... this time like you MEAN it

cosmo the enlightened
FAIL

Misleading

Of course the Apple statement was designed to confuse. They knew full well that the judge was sitting as an EU Community judge and his decision would be binding across the EU. To then reference the German decision which was made after this ruling is to obfuscate.

The judges have admonished the German ruling for not abiding by the sitting Community judge's decision. For Apple to make reference to the German decision and to also mention the US ruling (when one of the key the patents in question has been thrown out by the US patent office post jury result, that in turn will in all likelihood see the decision thrown out on appeal) is asinine, childish, but also not unexpected from Apple.

Rover spots 'possibly artificial' MYSTERY SHINY OBJECT on Mars

cosmo the enlightened
Alien

Actually

It is my 20 pence piece from when i visited there last month through my wormhole device.

NASA I want it back!

RIM reports more losses, lower sales, lots of cash

cosmo the enlightened
Happy

Hmm Let's see

$235m losses in this quarter... a little over $2b in cash. If we exclude the last quarter's half billion dollar loss as an exceptional result and use the $235m loss as a running average...

...add in higher investment to launch, advertise, and produce hardware for a new platform in a croweded smartphone market... then I figure...

2014 will be an interesting year for RIM.

If there is a share bubble rise at the launch of RIM 10 I would suggest to those of you who still own any RIM stock to sell and eat the loss.

YouTube app wrenched from next Apple iPhones, iPads

cosmo the enlightened
Happy

Re: As Graham Chapman would have said

splitters

Will Samsung's patent court doc leak backfire spectacularly?

cosmo the enlightened
Megaphone

Re: Balance?

Agreed. I wonder if some of CNet's independent journalism techniques is beginning to cross into this once fine organ.

This information was not leaked it has been in the public arena for a while now.

Come on El Reg you can do better than this.

Software bug flattens NYSE trader

cosmo the enlightened
FAIL

Yup

The quest for profit in micro second deals is one of the wild west frontiers that needs to be more regulated. These systems are all over the markets; particularly in the FX arena.

It's nice to see that their system went through traditional dev test and production cycles that SOX compliance would call for.

When will these companies finally realise they are tech houses with a bank or trading license and organise acordingly.

RIM doses PlayBook with 4G super serum

cosmo the enlightened
Holmes

Oh my gosh!

"The corpse just moved." said Watson.

"Don't worry. They are electrical discharges from the remnants of a once living thing." replied Holmes.

Wintel takes kicking from Apple, market share at all-time low

cosmo the enlightened
FAIL

Meh!

Statistical BS....

The classification of an iPad as a PC is wrong.

Apple growth is statistically interesting based on its total market share (less than 10% of PC... note PC market) and its growth year on year 50 odd %. But combining desktops with iPads is abusing market segmentation reporting... why don't you add iphones in there to the total count you fool!

Tablets are a different market, and should be measured as such - again crap lazy statistical analysis in search of a headline.. and pretty misleading reporting shame on you Reg...

Hubble spots ancient spiral galaxy that SHOULD NOT EXIST

cosmo the enlightened
Happy

I wonder what

will happen when our telescopes get to a point where we can actually see the big bang; we get closer and closer each year.

Maybe there will be someone at the far end with a big sign that reads BLUFF.

Or we may see our alternate universe selves looking right back.

Just a thought

BSkyB blocks The Pirate Bay for millions of Brits

cosmo the enlightened
Facepalm

Whack a mole - the next phase

The companies will now move to the next generation fight which will restrict the second hand resale markets. Watch as the new gaming consoles will only download content - no DVD purchased to resell, or one time only activiation codes with DVD resale having to pay full face reactivation rates.

The problem with the media companies is that people have such fragmented lifestyles nowadays; mobile apps, online movies, music, games. The companies hark back to the good old days when people spent their money only on the records and video tapes that they controlled the release of into shops on the high street. They blame pirating for their drop in revenue when it is changing demographics and lifestyles and spend patterns that are the real change.

The revenue stream genie not only left the bottle a long time ago, he built a small high rise, and moved into the penthouse suite with virtual handmaidens bringing him his every whim.

Apple blocking Dropbox SDK over in-app buying

cosmo the enlightened

Re: Anti-competitive?

I am not sure in EU law if it is anti-competitive;I think it may fall closer to restrictive trade practises.

In order for companies to conduct trade on the apple platform, apple restrict the method through which the companies can reach their customer and generate revenue without using the apple approved method that skims 30% off the top. People will say then don't develop for the apple platform; but the fact is that in the eyes of EU law there is a market place in existence where companies trade revenue with customers (Apple store) and the methods apple use to allow people to play could be seen as restrictive and profiteering.

It is a very murky subject and the lawyers would make a fortune, so it would need someone with deep pockets to pick the fight. I was always disappointed Amazon walked away from the Kindle fight.

Larry Page has painful day on stand in Oracle Java case

cosmo the enlightened
Alert

Aha!

The world's biggest data miner being mined for data! Oh the irony.

Perhaps he should go back to the office and google this employee who was carrying out a major strategic review of platform independence.

Amount of ice in Bering Sea reaches all-time record

cosmo the enlightened
Megaphone

Inevitability

So as a planet we are glacial and inter glacial; there have been four known periods of glacial activity – based on the science this is either a 100,000 year cycle or a 400,000 year problem depending on your reading of the Milankivitch cycles of Earth axis movement. Right now we are 10,000 years post ice age and approximately 40,000 – 50,000 from the next. We cannot stop the warming of the planet and we cannot stop the cooling. Now that said, are we helping to nudge along the heating? Yes our carbon emissions are contributing the acceleration of the process. This warming is a process we are going through as the Earth heats up due to the inter glacial cycle it is now a question about how warm we get and how much we contribute to it. There have periods in our Earth history where we had significantly higher carbon levels too; long before our rodent ancestors existed.

Will our heating delay the onset of the next ice age?… good question; possibly. Will we be able to reduce our contribution to the heating process? No. Global economics and political interests will not permit us too. We can only hope we develop reliable, consistent, clean energy at some point in the future to limit our part in the warming.

But as with everything in Earth’s history it can be measured in the slow march of time, and eventually the glaciers will loom on the horizon 50,000’ish years from now and start their inevitable march South once more.

I welcome our wooly mammoth overlords arrival.

'Unibody' iPhone 5 said to debut in October

cosmo the enlightened
Megaphone

Treadmill

I am continuously underwhelmed with the what's apple doing next rumour treadmill. Minutes after 4G all we get well what is 5 going to be and look like? could we have some kind of reporting quiet period or something?

It gets a little wearing all this conflicting speculation. I feel that we sometimes are feeding the analysts and the market shareprice more than actually thinking about technology; I mean a unibody and 4 inscreen is hardly "news worthy".

Cisco complains to the EU about Microsoft/Skype deal

cosmo the enlightened
Stop

So when

does Apple Facetime, Google et al, get the same request from Cisco? Interoperability does make complete sense, for example why can't I start a facetime with someone from my lovely Samsung Galaxy?

No there is no app for that.

Mac OS X ARM port by Apple work experience kid revealed

cosmo the enlightened
Holmes

Code base unification

With the IOs-ification of Lion in features, it makes economic sense to look at codebase unification where possible. This reduces security oversight, patch coding, skills training for staff, product development cycles, time to market, etc etc..

Apple will have no plans to port MacBooks to ARM right up to the point in time they have plans to port MacBooks to ARM

...if ever

... cool summer intern job though!

Apple tops estimates with earnings leap of 118 per cent

cosmo the enlightened
Coat

So

I'll look forward to my dividend payout then yippee!

oh, wait, hang on a minute...

ok I'll get my coat...

Facebook, MySpace, Twitter expose Google's 'evil'

cosmo the enlightened
Megaphone

No surprise

Google is a walled garden - has been for some time. The search is no longer neutral, and has not been so for some time. They are just becoming indifferent to hiding the bigger game plan. Google is not the neutral search provider people still think it is.

so many stupid so much advertising opportunities.

Rumoured 'GarageBand for e-books' to bulldoze textbook biz

cosmo the enlightened
Holmes

The walled garden gets a little bit wider

It could be about creating a capability to produce electronic text books that work really well on iPads and Macs. This is about driving the products right into the heart of the education system. To get educated you will need an iSomething., because that is where all the text books live on proprietry slick formats.

It is a walled garden that is getting broader and more joined up.

Remeber get the hearts and minds early e.g. pre-school, high school, you get them for life.

BUSTED TWO: Carrier IQ monitor-ware on iPhones too?

cosmo the enlightened
Holmes

We all act so shocked

Look folks the business model of all these companies - Google, Facebook, etc is to get as much personal data from you as they can to either

a: sell on

b: improve their ability to advertise sh*t to you.

We all act shocked and surprised when these stories keep coming up like it is some fricking epiphany.

No sh*t Sherlock!

Until the regulators fine someone until their eyes bleed every company who has a business model based upon selling your privacy on will continue to do so, and will use their EULA paragraph 9 sub section 24 in small print to get out of jail free.

Blame the regulators for not laying down the law, blame the inter government agencies for not having a unified approach to privacy in the digital age, and most of all blame us every time we are shocked and outraged.

These companies will continue to do this until the regulators get their act together.

That is all...

Bill Gates strangled Microsoft's 'tablet for creatives'

cosmo the enlightened
FAIL

Agile? er.. No.

This is a shame. If the office suite could have been able to churn out a light wieght capability ala Window Phone 7, then this could have been an interesting dog fight of fondle slabs.

The ship has sailed on that device sadly but MS's mindset is stuck in legacy code and legacy software squeezing the corporate buck...hmm that reminds me of... oh yes IBM from the eighties.

The organisation needs an electric shock of agility pumped through it at 50 million volts.

it is a vision thing and...it goes around it comes around...

Official: Microsoft buys Skype for $8.5bn

cosmo the enlightened
Coffee/keyboard

Here is a thought

When I first heard of this I knew that MSoft would want it for integration into existing products... never forget that in the corporate world Office rules supreme. Add all these millions of users into Outlook directory services, live services and the integration of Office and VOIP to millions of businesses makes sense. Another reason why corporates do not need to diversify away from an integrated tool set. Office seats and associated revenue rule supreme.

Here is an additional thought. Now that a US company owns Skype, the national security services of the good ol' US of A have full access to the encryption keys (all six or seven layers) of it.

This is a big deal in the erosion of privacy.

Apple stuns Wall Street with 95% earnings surge

cosmo the enlightened
Coat

Can I

have a dividend now please...?

No? alright I'll get my coat...

Winfrasoft touts pattern-based password alternative

cosmo the enlightened
Coffee/keyboard

So the thing i would like to know is

if the colours used on the grid and patterns help or hinder the colour blind and dyslexic.

Firefox bloke blasts Microsoft IE 9 hardware acceleration claims

cosmo the enlightened
Coat

I could

care less about speed. I want secure.

alright, alright I'll ge my ...

Microsoft tablet OS to see light of day in 'autumn 2012'

cosmo the enlightened
Megaphone

So..

Apple has a head start. Android is building, and Msoft is coming in late next year. Sounds as though they are late to the party, and yes they are.

They missed the market with W7 cos they never built any touch into the heart of the OS. The problem is bigger than that, coz they have to carry so much baggage in the kernel and bolt on after bolt on to provide compatibility that the legacy of NT to W7 has made the OS in inefficient behemoth.

smart thinking would have extened W7 for mobiles and built out a replica of iOS / OSX model and seperate the ecosystems (gawd I hate that word)...

They will still insist that the can shoehorn W8 onto every platform under the sun with a confusing array of versions and licence models.

Now, this is still not so clear cut because as someone else has mentioned Business investment in Windows is here to stay for a very long time (business software, legacy apps, the sheer cost to move to anything else is prohibitive on a cost front - spreadsheets alone would make your mind explode at the number of them running core processes across the world today) no matter how much you think it is fixable it is not. In addition to this the synergy of an office PC and an on the go buisness tablet running the same will continue to be attractive for large organisations for support, security (hah) and legacy applications.

Now longer term there are very young people going through education, at home etc, that are learning their basic computing on non windows platforms - my 4 year old figured out the iPad in less than 2 minutes. Over a loooonnng time this will have an effect... so will cloud.

The transition will take years, companies will begin to develop their next versions more platform agnostic to ensure they can run on as many of these devices as possible.

Microsoft can afford to come to this late, and it will take a long time to see any shift. The consumer is irrelevent RIGHT NOW, corporations matter. Corporations are hooked in no matter how much they desire not to be. But today's four year old iPad / Android user is the possible CIO / CEO if the future, and this is where Microsoft is loosing them ... right here right now.

The Woz speaks: Fusion-io plans IPO

cosmo the enlightened
Pint

But why did they not

just use SMARTDRV.exe with EMM386 in the config.sys file?

That is chaching tecknology...

...shurely some mistake here...

Google disappears torrent terms from autocomplete search results

cosmo the enlightened
WTF?

Er...

To quote "Google said last month that it was working to stop copyright-infringing websites making cash off its AdSense advertising platform."

Has Google looked at the content on you tube lately? Have they? I still see ads up there...

sheesh!

Ballmer, Gates won't slice up Microsoft

cosmo the enlightened
Happy

Company split

The banks are probably wanting a company split that way they can hedge short/long on the stock, offer consulting on the sale, leverage requirement, bond issuance,

oohh and up the price to unrealistically high prices of any IPO or private sell off to ensure maximum bonuses...

yeah let's listen to their sage advice on anything related to finance and restructuring companies and their related debt. I'm sure that would go swimmingly well.

Malware forces Firefox to save passwords

cosmo the enlightened
Thumb Down

Well, well, well

The sneaky bar stewards.

Can you imagine, a JavaScript that creates an security issue on a web browser.

New iPod crew: 'Phoney, futuristic, retro, doomed'

cosmo the enlightened

I think...

that they removed the camera as it was probably squeezing the entry point into the Touch range.

Perhaps people were buying the nano at that price point as it had record capability. Why spend more to get a touch?

Now that it is gone fromt he nano range if you want record you move up models.. simple upsell technique.

Lucky Macs get Flash speed bump

cosmo the enlightened
Dead Vulture

Gulp!

'the debetafication of that effort is what's now available.'

The use of the word 'debetafication' should only be attempted with the aid of a safety net!

Government plans 'NHS information revolution'

cosmo the enlightened
Thumb Up

Easy peasy

Like most government departments all they need to do is visit a website called sourceforge.net wherea whole raft of open source applications are stored that only need minor modification to get up and running. CMMS / shopping baskets / forums voting ranking systems - they are all there for nada.

At least with this approach we won't need $20B in projects run by the usual incompetent suspects.

All it takes it handing a bunch of these contracts to smaller more dynamic companies with an open source mentality and they would get product delivered faster and cheaper.

Home Office launches urgent review of illegal police stop'n'search

cosmo the enlightened
FAIL

Actually you are wrong

Ignorantia juris non excusat or Ignorantia legis neminem excusat (Latin for "ignorance of the law does not excuse" or "ignorance of the law excuses no one") is a legal principle holding that a person who is unaware of a law may not escape liability for violating that law merely because he or she was unaware of its content.

This is established precedent in the UK.

Apple to take iPad orders this week?

cosmo the enlightened
Joke

What uses?

Oh I can think of a few...

A door stop

To prevent tables from wobbling it could be wedged under that rogue leg

Turned off the glossy screen could act as a mirror

A fly swatter - probably only one time use though

A hard surface to take notes on although a spring clip at the top would have helped to keep the paper in place

An emergency rescue aid; by reflecting the sun you could attract helicopters and mountain rescue.

... the possibilities are endless

Google typosquat cash pegged at $497m per year

cosmo the enlightened
Coat

and...

wait for the take down notice....

oh wait...

yes but, not but,

oh...

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