@katrinab, et al.
Disclaimer: I have an electic car with a home charger installed in my garage as do some of my relatives (some with solar and batteries). I think I can speak with a little bit of authority here...
First, you do not need a separate meter for your car charger. Some installers will wire the charger direct to your meter, others will wire it to your normal fuseboard. But in both cases, you're still using the same meter for your domestic supply and your EV charging. There is also a current sensor attached to the supply side of your meter to ensure your EV doesn't try and pull more than your main fuse is rated for.
Second, your charger does not need to be "smart" to load balance the grid. You can get very dumb chargers. Or you can get smart ones which talk to the grid and your supplier and allow you to charge only when there is less load on the grid - and hence a cheaper rate. (Or even charge when there is only an excess of green energy) Regardless of the rate you're paying the electric company, the tax you pay for your electricity is the same. There are people who have the large house batteries (think Tesla Powerwall) and charge them at night and run their hose from the battery during the day. (I'm not getting into solar as that makes things even more complex)
All home chargers (either 13A or 7kW) are slow. Using my 7kW charger I can only get 60% charge into my car during the off-peak tariff window. Sure, it's faster than a 13A socket, but many people do use 13A sockets. On some EV forums they encourage you to use the 13A charger option as it's less harsh on the battery than higher current charging.
If you're feeling very flush, you can get a three-phase electric supply and then get a 22kW home charger. But this gets expensive very quickly...
In summary: Beware of the FUD.