* Posts by Robert E A Harvey

3010 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Oct 2006

HTC to launch WinMo phone with Android-oriented UI

Robert E A Harvey

err..

http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2009/10/30/hd2_android_denial/

Apple Magic Mouse

Robert E A Harvey
FAIL

Oh come on, it's been 35 years

We are still getting all moist between the legs over a slightly different shape mouse?

We've been using the wretched things for around 35 years - the same time difference as between the Wright brothers and the Spitfire. The damn things should be obsolete by now, like keyboards.

Where are the brain implants that let me type at 560wpm?, the data gloves or triangulation cameras that interpret my finger movements, or the flicks of my eyes?

Where is the matt black hemisphere that we can think at?

It's a joystick on wheels, (perhaps wthout the wheels) not a major technological breakthrough.

last year VW, having fitted 'start' buttons to some cars instead of an extra position on the key, started to talk about 'transferring the technology' to their other marques. My Morris Minor had a 'start' button, and that was built in 1955. Same with computer rodents. For glod's sake, lads, invent something new instead of obsesively tiddling about with what we have and then squealing like some airhead on 'America's next top muddle' about how it looks.

Marvel Comics open on iPhone

Robert E A Harvey
Jobs Horns

hhhow much g-g-granville?

1.99 for something you can't pass on to yer mates and then flog at the exchange store by the bus station?

a quick google suggests that you can subscribe, including postage, to the paper edition for $22.97 per 12 issues. So it costs /more/ on the iphone, and you got to threaten yer eyesight trying to read it?

I'd consider it for 25cents an issue, but I'm not daft enough to pay what they are asking...

Wintel 7 machines freeze out iPhone

Robert E A Harvey

@ K Cartlidge

I almost agree.

Thing is, though, how easy is it for joe soap to advise microsoft of a bug in their code? They don't have anythng like a bugzilla

Karmic Koala RC drops into the wild

Robert E A Harvey

dim today

"??? ?4L4M3rZ?"

sorry. Cannot parse. Out of cheese error.

Can we have a giant question mark icon, please, moderatrix.

Android to overtake iPhone in 2012 - analyst

Robert E A Harvey
Pint

What a fine bit of Hokum

"10.8 per cent to 13.7 per cent"

Astonishing bit of precision in predicting the future. Perhaps the authors would like to tell us what the stock market will be standing at, where the hurricanes will make landfall, and who is planning to assasinate president Obama?

It all sounds a bit beery to me:

"Now yer cell phones right?. I reckon..I reckon.. People are going to buy more of them. Right? Not a lot more, obviously, 'cos they've got shedloads already. But more. And shiney ones. Wiv software, and everything. Cos that's what they like. And those Finnish blokes, wot-they-called, Yes Nookey, that's them, they will sell most of them. Stands to reason, dunnit. Are you buying? I'll have one of them Groslch things with the funny top. No, make it two while yer there, I'll give you..."

Does the Help Desk have a future?

Robert E A Harvey
Unhappy

Nature of the problem

I'm sure that the very existence of help desks is a symptom of the real problem. Computers.

Look, the fax machine revolutionised the world. Did you ever hear of a fax help desk? The damn thigs came, still come, with a comprehensive manual including an explanation of all the error codes.

What was the last printer that came with ascii tables, centronics interface definitions, and an explanation of escape sequences? What was the last version of MSdos that came with a manual listing all the commands, parameters and switches? and explaining the dirve letter-sub directory paradigm? When was the last time you bought a computer that included any sort of manual at all? let alone one that expained what the POST beeps meant?

And then there are operating systems. Windows users, god help them, still map network drive letters and then get confused why mailing links to the bloke on the next desk does not help. We have had fully qualified paths (and the twee "my network places") for the last 10 years at least and no-one uderstands them. Any cut-and-pasted link should be absolute, even if it doesn't look like it to the original user, and there should not be half a dozen legacy ways of doing the same thing. Instead of making the new software look like the old one, how about including some instructions for a change? No, not meaningless help pages. Printed books.

And applications. Instead of finding a way (? an instruction book?) to explain using preset styles, word converts every casual bit of re-formatting into an automatic style and makes the styles thing so confusing that the proles ignore it. Oh, and the wretched vomit inducing style navigator that appears on the right hand side has such awful ergonomics that you are far more likely to make accidental changes to the styles than to find and apply one.

People need help desks because people need help. It does not have to be like this. I can get in any car, anywhere in the world, and drive it safely and legally, because the control layout is understandable, the symbology on signs consistent and well researched, and information about direction and speed limits is available when I need it in a rugged, reliable way.

Oh and then there are the employers.

Can you think of any other business process (machinists at lathes, accountants with double entry, salesmen with liability legislation) where companies assume people know what they are expected to use the tools for without training and assesment? Yet the poor bloody workforce has computers dumped on their desk filled with all sorts of software and are expected to pick their way through it. When they get stuck they call a help desk, who has no idea what the business processes are or the implications of what they are asking. (I'm a service engineer who works on capital projects, and the help desk regularly asks me to 'come into the office and give the laptop to the team for a few days'. They get told to sod off, usually.)

Computers are used to increase productivity, and yet both the choice of them and the training of staff is left to PFYs who have no interest in, or methods for, improving the productivity of the people using them. Whose very job is quantified merely in closing the call in the shrotest time, with no consideration of consequence, impact, or effectiveness. (My second ethernet port does not work with a fixed IP address.'well, use DHCP then'. I am trying to talk to a machine tool with a fixed IP. 'set that to DHCP too and connect it to the network. We'll tell you tomorrow what its IP address is' It is on a customer site, not in your office. 'Oh, sorry, there is nothing we can do then') In no other business process is the outcome merely assumed from the act of making the investment.

The day the last help desk closes down will be the day that the last bad computer has been consigned to the scrap heap. Ansd the last bad company

Hotmail phish exposes most common passwords

Robert E A Harvey
Paris Hilton

Let's see

So we are basing our research into passwords on people daft enough to respond to phishing attacks now?

In the old days Dec had a secure service to harvest passwords without the other ID material and collect them centrally for analysis. Now that was sensible. making assummptions based on data from dickheads is .. err.. dickheaded

Dick.. Head.. Paris?

Apple chokes on Woolworths logo

Robert E A Harvey

Paging Mr Mcartney...

Woolies sell records, right?

Apple Corps sued Apple computer about apple selling music, right?

So will the ex-beatle now sue woolies?

Oh, and Woolworths? What was wrong with the old red-and-gold W? Has the British debacle devalued it? our local peddler of cheap frozen foods still has the glass panels in the front with the big W on them.

Designer draws up digital camera-cum-punchcard printer

Robert E A Harvey

And next?

A shovel with a toaster attached, for handy mid-trench snacking?

or how about a headlight for dogs, so they can see while on late-night walkies?

Let's build a sharpened tennis racket so you can make chi[ps by throwing potatoes in the air and clobbering it before it comes down?

I fancy an inflatable dance floor, for impromptu tangos

Google lobs coder's Microsoft badge into rubbish bin

Robert E A Harvey

Yawn

Had I ever thought that MVP status meant anything at all, I might be slightly interested. But probably not.

Apple tablet will 'redefine print,' says rumor mill

Robert E A Harvey
Thumb Down

cobblers

If apple have done a deal with the publishers, then they will have access to the digital verision of the books. Why on earth would they need physical books trucking in?

Windows 7 OEM prices revealed

Robert E A Harvey
Coat

Question

If I pay five pounds for a ten pound turd, is it still a turd?

Mine is the one with a copy of Linux in the pocket

Archos punts 9-inch Windows 7 tablet PC

Robert E A Harvey
Thumb Down

this is 2009

Why on earth do we still have keyboards, soft or hard? For glod's sake, Kirk was talking to his computer in 1967. Surely with the increases in processor power down the years we can have a voice-op machine by now?

Microsoft pulls music service from wireless carriers

Robert E A Harvey
Gates Horns

whot?

why the black enamel would a zune want a ring tone?

Oh yes, M$ is going to release it's own phone soon, isn't it.

O2 confirms UK Pré launch date

Robert E A Harvey

@Anonymous Coward 09:04

I thought the EU rules were a minimum 2 year warranty on consumer goods?

Robert E A Harvey
Unhappy

thanks, but no thanks

The pricing has changed the pre from something I was very interested in into a no-thanks deal. I'd have paid up to 360 quid for a non-tied one.

Bye bye Palm.

UK council forced to swallow dick

Robert E A Harvey
IT Angle

Oh, I see

My first thought was "where is the IT angle"? Then I spotted it:

"juvenile comments from sniggering staff"

Dual-screen Microsoft 'booklet' uncovered

Robert E A Harvey
Paris Hilton

Brain damaged

My Brain is torn

Half of me wants this very badly

Half says "no, you will be supporting the evil one".

Tell me what to do, registerites, before I split in half!

Paris, 'cos this is all about wanting something fashionable.

'Buy puke-rays and we'll donate to police widows & orphans'

Robert E A Harvey
Thumb Up

mee tooo

I have to congratulate you on 'chunder gat'

ARM wrestles Intel for netbook crown

Robert E A Harvey
Linux

+1

I fancy one of those too - Like zenkaon says, with Ubuntu please.

In fact, why don't canonnical sell one?

Motorola makes first Android phone

Robert E A Harvey
FAIL

chains and anchors

Another tied release.

Sigh.

<ignores>

Sony takes on the Kindle

Robert E A Harvey

Universality

You won't get me lumping out cash until it works like paper books:

* I can buy content from whoever I want anywhere I want

* The content becomes my property in a tangible way

* I can give, loan, swap content with other people

* I can give it to Oxfam who can sell it half price to students

* Oh and content has to be a lot cheaper than a paperback, to reflect the supply sides lower costs.

* I can generate my own content and give it away to friends

On the way, a standard memory card slot, a standard USB connector (also used for charging), and a week-and-a-bit battery life so I can take it on holiday would be essential too.

All that said, I quite like the idea.

Netbooks took a fifth of mobile PC biz in Q2

Robert E A Harvey
Alert

Not sure about the validity

You could have lumped microwave sales in with electric oven sales in the 1980s, and said sales of home cooking devices had gone up. But in fact most microwaves were bought by people who already had a cooker, so the sale of microwaves gave no clues at all to the health of the thermal cooker market.

I'm not sure it is valid to lump netbooks in with the rest of the "mobile market" and assume you are learning anything.

I have one, running Suse 11.1, and I use it for very different things to my flaptop. I use it as a web tablet, and as a replacement for my dab radio. And for VOIP

Perhaps sales of netbooks should be lumped in with DAB radios? or with cordless phones?

I think these numbers really mean:

* a lot of people bought into a new product category

* in other news, laptop sales are down

AMD plays it cool with low-volt Istanbuls

Robert E A Harvey

Harvey's 3rd law of engineering

"good enough is good enough".

We are rapidly getting to the point where most servers have more cpu horsepower than they need, and a switch to low energy may be a really clever sales pitch and drive investment, if the loading is not enough to justify upgrading.

Snow Leopard security - The good, the bad and the missing

Robert E A Harvey

whatever next?

OK, there was no commercial for doing ASLR on the kernel because there is no evidence that anyone is cracking it. Keep the costs down guys.

What other specious reasons to criticise Apple can you come up with? 'It doesn't run norton anti-virus'? 'those one-click backup devices you can buy at airports don't work on apple'?

Grow up.

Dell and HP sing Microsoft tune on Word injunction

Robert E A Harvey

Anti-trust

I hope the people who monitor freedom of the market place are taking notes

Linux guru: interface innovation is the challenge

Robert E A Harvey
Paris Hilton

Dude, where is my talking computer?

Spock and Kirk had one in 1966. It's not as though we havn't had the idea in front of us.

What happened to neural networks. Why can't computers learn what we do? what happened to the blinkcam idea, looking at the menus?

Look how clever web sites and games have been inventing other ways to do things.

Dude, where is my anticipating, verbal cues detecting, talking computing? For glod's sake, we have squandered 20 years of hardware extrapolation on doing the same thing as the gem desktop, (and survailence) instead of doing something new.

Paris, 'cos she always welcomes something new

Nokia announces Linux-based smartphone

Robert E A Harvey

want want want want want

But I wanted the previous internet tablets, until I got my hands on one to try it.

Sharp intros 5in ARM-based netbook

Robert E A Harvey

want want want want want

where do I get one?

Sony redesigns the Walkman, again

Robert E A Harvey

Arwkwright moment

"Howw m-m-much Gr-fr-ranville?"

ye glods. And it doesn't even have a DAB radio for use after the gubblemint turn off FM

Mac OS X Snow Leopard First Look

Robert E A Harvey
Paris Hilton

It must be me

Do we have an Operating system reviewed as 'Hardware'?

<--Our young friend here knows the difference between hard and soft, I'm sure

Apple says Google Voice is on hold, not cut off

Robert E A Harvey
Coat

"Google Voice is on hold"

>Google Voice is on hold

Well, it's not as though Apple are short of music to play them. while they wait.

Mine's the one with the generic MP3 player in the pocket.

Microsoft warns of 'irreparable harm' on court's Word injunction

Robert E A Harvey
Grenade

Well, tough

This is where Software patents get you. Learn & weep. And stop forcing governments to be part of your marketing department.

>Customers, meanwhile, could be "stranded without an alternative set of software"

Well, what do you think Richard Stahllman has been talking about all these years?

I bet a few people can suggest some alternatives in any case. Learn & weep

Windows XP customers positive but split on Windows 7

Robert E A Harvey
Linux

I'm Positive

That I will never give microsoft another penny as long as I live.

US carriers are taking the beep

Robert E A Harvey
Paris Hilton

Free voicemail

Well, I'm with Virgin in the UK, and voicemail retrieval is unbilled. But I turned off voicemail anyway, 'cos while I was in india I got charged for the incoming call, could not retrieve it, and the messages had been purged by the time I got home.

It's simple. If I don';t answer the phone you can;t talk to me. You can send a text, or not bother.

What happened to the idea of sending texts from BT phones? They will read them out to you, and when they announced that they promised to have a voice-to-text sending service RSN.

We need an 'I dont give a stuff' icon, but till then Paris will do

Mitsubishi iMiEV five-door e-car

Robert E A Harvey
Paris Hilton

They can't count

Have a look at the last item on http://www.mitsubishi-motors.com/special/ev/4innovations/index.html

See if you can spot 'three types of battery charging systems'. I can only make it 3 if you count home and car-park use of the low current flex as two completely separate systems.

Why stop at three, then? I can plug it in with an extension through my living room window, in my shed, at my auntie Violet's, at work, on a customer site, and (using an adaptor) by shinning up a lamp post or jacking into the light in a phone box. That's seven, and I still havn't counted this entirely fictitious plughole in a car park yet.

if they can't even /count/ why should we believe any of the other nonsense about range, speed, battery life?

Paris, 'cos she probably has trouble counting to more than two as well.

Dell's first phone spied on web

Robert E A Harvey
Thumb Down

no wifi?

So /Dell/ are selling a phone with no wifi. Isn't that kind of screwed up?

That's another one off my list then.

Lad passes gruelling 'getting on bus' test

Robert E A Harvey
Paris Hilton

don't laugh

A correspondent tells me that this is one of a range of personal achievement certificates, like tea making and paying the electric bill, that are issued to people on adult eduction support programmes and are a significant confidence boost to people for whom doing such things is a major challenge.

Obviously some numbwit organising the youth event has wholly misunderstood his delegates and the purpose of the event, but I'd hate for all this daily-mail based mirth to undermine people to whom these things represent a significant achievement.

At least one customer springs to mind.

US state bars sex offenders from 'social networking sites'

Robert E A Harvey
FAIL

and how

and how is this to be enforced? I can create accounts on these things with a variety of names and using disposable email systems for the validation.

The law would appear to give another rod to beat the offender with if he is discovered, but no practical way to provide the alleged protection.

Twitter is mainly pointless babble and other rubbish

Robert E A Harvey
Paris Hilton

Whot?

"Most of Twitter is pointless babble, spam and self promotion, "

Sorry? wasn't that self-evident? Who suggested it wasn't?

It all sounds like Paris to me.

Dell: Linux v Windows netbook returns a 'non-issue'

Robert E A Harvey

Waiting

I'm still waiting for:

* Linux to appear alongside Vista on every page

* Linux based dells to be cheaper than the same spec XP

* Linux dells to have the same sort of 'value added' tools for data backup, configuration, and internet connection that they bundle with winjows ones.

Publishing giant hits delete on internal IT staff

Robert E A Harvey
Pint

Good-oh

Take the redundancy money and enjoy it, lads. They'll be wanting you back in about 14 months time when they realise what this will really cost.

Ofcom taps sailors for new fees

Robert E A Harvey
Thumb Down

Safety of Life at Sea

And have they discussed this with the other signaturies to the SOLAS treaties?

All ship-ship and ship-shore communications is potentially safety based.

Lawsuit accuses T-Mobile of asking staff to email 'off the clock'

Robert E A Harvey

@Number6

My sentiments entirely. A bit of give and take, but not taking the piss.

I'm on standby this week. I could be called up any time night or day and have to leave home. so my work phone is on at night. I get an extra £180 for this. That's fine by me. Other weeks it is turned on precisely the hours that someone in the office is working.

They all know my private numbers, and will call them if someone is in trouble. But they don't.

Some years ago I had an 0870 number for the house, and gave that number to work. So I got 2p per minute every time they called me...

Texan judge outlaws Word

Robert E A Harvey
Gates Horns

Bwhahahaaaaa

El Reg has already drawn attention to the ironic link with M$'s patenting of OOXML .

I just find it wonderfully ironic. The biter bit.

Bwhahahaaaaa

GM Volt to deliver three-figure fuel economy

Robert E A Harvey
Alert

@jeffy[pooh

".....1.20095042 times INFINITY in miles per Imperial gallon"

my thoughts exactly....

\We need an icon of a pair of cojones, we really do.

Robert E A Harvey
Unhappy

Price of fuel?

If everyone uses one quarter the petrol, will the price go up 4 times?

HP sued by own sales reps

Robert E A Harvey

@Onionman

"You're an engineer. You're paid £x per annum whether you do your job or not"

Nowhere I've ever worked. If I don't do my job I get the sack, often in the middle of a project.

Boffins test cancer-stinging 'nano-bee' swarms in mice

Robert E A Harvey
Alien

Gray goo?

Look, captain. The inhabitants of Earth committed suicide by tiny robots.