* Posts by ukgnome

2085 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

That Osbo bloke - he's on your Twitters. 'What a c**k'

ukgnome
Trollface

helping those who want to work hard

What a stupid twat - sorry twatter. sorry tweet!

No one wants to work hard, we all want to do as little as possible for as much money as we can, Hell that's why I got into I.T.

Is UK web speech regulated? No.10: Er. We’ll get back to you

ukgnome
WTF?

Re: @Chris Rowland

"Given a choice between the government and the press I'd trust the government's honesty and integrity more than the press"

If it wasn't for the press we wouldn't know what a bunch of lying cheating scummers those MP types are.

Or has everyone forgotten the expenses scandal? The speeding points saga? Jeffrey Archer?

Not all people in the press are guttersnipes, yes there are some upskirt paps, and some phone bug ne'er-do-wells but there are also some highly skilled and highly trained individuals that in some circumstances put their life on the line just so that you know what is going on in the world. A choice between the government or the press, no contest the press wins, whilst they may have a small collections of naughty types they don't have as many as the government.

ukgnome

Re: What about forums on news related web sites?

OK - so some moderated forum comments may or may not be subject to this regulation, as it would depend on what legal definition could be argued by a lawyer. OK, I am fine with that loose definition, as I don't usually post too many insulting swipes.

However, in the past I may of posted some things that were not true and may deeply offend people (Murdoch, I'm thinking of you, you bloody weasel) Would the regulation be in force for the past comments or is everything before just fine as long as you don't do it again?

Build a BONKERS gaming PC

ukgnome
Angel

Dear Santa,

I have been mainly good this year, and I don't envisage been bad for the remainder of the year. What I really really want, apart from seeing Lohan achieve it's goal is a PC like what has been described in the article.

I realise my mummy might not be able to afford all the parts I need, so if you could help her out then that would be wonderful.

Merry Xmas

Ukgnome

LOHAN hooks up with top-flight rocketeer

ukgnome

Shackleton

Can we give him a cool rocketeer name? I'm thinking "High Seat" as his call sign!

*you do all use cool names don't you?

BOFH: My HELPDESK HELL - lies, phones lines and statistics

ukgnome
Thumb Up

Ha ha ha - When I worked on a helpdesk, almost a thousand years ago we used an aspect phone system. Simply by dialling a number and hanging up I was placed at the back of the queue for available agents.

This helped maintain my call statistics for over a year. What I found more surprising is that the fellow drones had not worked this out. But then again, they were typical helpdeskers without a hint of BOFH about them.

SimCity 4

ukgnome
Trollface

The only thing I want to see is....

A UK mode, where traffic drives on the correct side and the population are more tolerant.

Ten pi-fect projects for your new Raspberry Pi

ukgnome
Thumb Up

Pi-BX looks like a great little project.

My only obstacles to little projects are wife based.

eBay: Our paid Google advertising was a total waste of money

ukgnome
Trollface

I thought they dropped the B in eBay to just ebay - or is that just their logo?

Curiosity succeeds – Mars was wet enough for life!

ukgnome
Headmaster

Re: @tankboy - without us it would of crashed dear boy

Qinetiq, a tech company based in Hampshire, built the transceiver which transmits for the Mars Express the signals from the MSI through entry, descent and landing on the planet were sent via UK tech.

The high performance imaging sensors installed in Curiosity’s Chemistry and Mineralogy instrument (CheMin) and Chemistry & Camera instrument (CheCam) were designed and built by Chelmsford-based technology company e2v

And not forgetting our scientists

ukgnome

What next for the plucky nuke droid?

Yup, it has found wet sand, it has scoops.

Ladies, Martians and gentlemen - welcome to the 1st official Mars sandcastle contest.

Heavily armed dolphins on rampage in Black Sea

ukgnome
Pirate

Damn

I think I'll give the beach a miss then

<----prepare for boarding indeed!

Infinite loop: the Sinclair ZX Microdrive story

ukgnome
Thumb Up

Great article

I never had a speccy, but it was always obvious to me that they had style and marketing speak over their competitors. Hmm reminds me of a fruit based firm.

Marvel: 'Come and get 'em! 700 first-issue comics! FREE!'

ukgnome
Thumb Up

Re: Torrents?

Not all Torrents are evil, if a company held an event like this again, then this could be an excellent delivery method. By legitimising torrents we could revolutionise media delivery or summink

MakerBot demos 3D object scanner that fits on your desk

ukgnome
Thumb Down

Got a really big garden (and really poor taste)? MakerBot has your answer

Hey, why you having a dig at gnomes!

LOHAN seeks rocketeer for explosive relationship

ukgnome
Joke

Damn

If only it was fertiliser and sugar pipe bombs, then I'd be your man! Although i only have level one in stupidity.

**Dear anti terrorist plods - this is a joke, observe the joke icon. I do not, nor ever have built a pipe bomb. The reason that I am making this clear is because I know someone who posted something similar and was awoken from his slumber by a group of tooled up bobbies.

Photoshop fakery exposed by fake Photoshop tool

ukgnome

Re: @BorkedAgain

lol - gotta love auto correct!

ukgnome
Thumb Up

Body dimorphism is a real problem and anything that can be done to highlight that we all have flaws is a winner.

Even better that it uses technology. Lets hope that the right people see this, otherwise this will just be a piss taking exercise.

'Million-strong' zombie army devours Raspberry Pi's crunchy base

ukgnome

Re: @nuke- Open Letter

I don't have that assumption, but not many people amass a million strong zombie hoard just to piss off a charity. It's a soft target and there is nothing to gain.

I forget the rates, but isn't a 100 computers something like $10 so for a million it would be $10000 although you would probably get a discount. Even if it was $1 it would still be an expensive waste of time. The only way this makes sense is if this was a demonstration of power. And even then, that only makes sense if you are a feckless twazzock botty lord!

ukgnome
FAIL

Open Letter

Just what kind of feckless twazzock launches a DDOS on a registered charity? Especially a tech charity, unless the botty lord (presumably that's what you call the controller) is scared of future kids out scripting them.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear feckless twazzocks,

There are a multitude of web ne'er-do-wells that deserve a jolly good spanking with a DDOS, but the pi foundation isn't one of them. Can I suggest that you take heed that bigger boys won't think you are big or clever.

Now feck off the interwebs!

UKgnome and friends!

LIVE BLOG: Facebook News Feed revamp press conference

ukgnome

Facebook News Feed revamp press conference?

Bitches! eat this news feed

*fixed it for you.

'Mainframe blowout' knackered millions of RBS, NatWest accounts

ukgnome
Trollface

It does seem odd that the auxiliary systems didn't take the load whilst the primary was out of action.

DWP denies major IT problems with One Dole To Rule Them All system

ukgnome
IT Angle

Same old bucket of sh1t

When has an IT project ever gone right for the government? Too many people sitting on their elbows trying to decide the next cock up.

<--------Icon, because the government don't know either.

BRITAIN MUST DECLARE WAR on Cervinaean menace

ukgnome
Devil

Am I the only one that read that article humming "who killed bambi"

Reg readers brew up the ultimate cuppa

ukgnome
Thumb Up

infuse not mash!

Tea needs to be a golden honey colour - none of this bag mashing malarkey. Then you may add whatever other things you need.

If you must put milk in it then only full fat milk will do. I simply don't want to hear about green or red top milk. If it doesn't have a silver top then it's not milk. (or blue top for you supermarket buyers)

And by Jove, only silver spoon granulated sugar if you require sweetness.

Gone in 30 minutes: Chinese tweets purged by army of censors

ukgnome
Joke

Apparently censorship tweets are censored in china.

<---ironic icon as this aint no joke

RBS and NatWest FAIL downs services across UK

ukgnome

Oh dear

Who's been patching live systems (again) tsk

PC World ordered to rip up promo for next-day repair promise

ukgnome
Meh

Normally I wouldn't defend PC world

But a lot of issues arise with extended warranties when the customer doesn't bother reading the documentation.

They then feel aggrieved when some spotty call centre slave points out some key points.

Having said that, the plain English campaign should get involved with all warranty and T&C documentation to make them easier for the hard of thinking.

Honk if the car in front is connected

ukgnome
Joke

How long before cars have their own social network? And what would it be called?

Twenty classic arcade games

ukgnome

Others that are missing but not forgotten

Rampage

Burger Time

Bomber Jack ? (I think)

ukgnome
Happy

So many that could\should be on the list.

Where is Gorf? "alert alert enemy invaders..."

Why isn't out run mentioned? Or pole position for that matter.

Sad to see no ghost and goblins.

And what of Tron?

Ahh so much wasted youth, oh the folly

ukgnome
Thumb Up

Re: This is an outrage

Totally agree, the hydraulic cabinet was way ahead of it's time.

UK injects £88m into Euro bid to build Hubble-thrashing 'scope

ukgnome
Devil

£88m

Isn't it nice that we are all in it together.

I'm sure that money would only be wasted otherwise.

Apple: OK, we tracked your every move... but let's call it a caching bug, m'kay?

ukgnome

I wouldn't normally post this, but....

I am starting to feel sorry for Judge Lucy Koh.

Apple iWatch: Coming soon, runs iOS, to earn mucho mazuma

ukgnome
Trollface

I will only be interested if they create a smart ipocket watch and Google monocle.

A gentleman has standards after all.

Pirate Bay 'seeks asylum' in, er, 'North Korea'

ukgnome
Joke

TPB should relocate to Caroline, they could get Tony Blackburn to host the servers

Microsoft parts clouds over Bing Maps with massive sat pic upgrade

ukgnome

ocean floor imagery???

Yeah, because sometime soon I plan to drive there.

Raspberry Pi-powered Tardis blasts off from 'Blighty's Baikonur'

ukgnome

Re: In space...

According to various comics and books it goes Vwroop Vwroop

ukgnome
Headmaster

Shut up you incorrect pedants!

TARDIS (time and etc) was actually the name given to the vehicle by Susan

The vehicle is actually a type 40 TT capsule

Wikileaker Bradley Manning pleads not guilty to 'aiding the enemy'

ukgnome
Facepalm

@Wzrd1 Team America F##k Yeah!

Hmm - in one particular jolly outing those good ol' boys can be heard chuckling as they blow up some German journalists.

In America a group of men with AK's can be considered hunters, or don't you read the news.

Let me guess, you're one of those good ol' apple pie types that think the NRA is a great organisation.

Guess what those ....blah blah blah, I wasn't there so I can't comment - hence they may or may not of been an enemy combatant.

Idiot journalists? Yeah, they speak highly of you. Oh wait, no they fucking don't they were gunned down by laughing american forces.

I am happy that you have expressed an opinion, even if it is incorrect.

ukgnome
Pint

Whistle blowing

Should be applauded when it proves a point, or improves things for the company involved.

This guy should be applauded not imprisoned, he showed the world what a bunch of cucking funts the american military are.

Yeah, lets all laugh and be jolly whilst we blow the crap out of people that may or may not be some sort of enemy combatant.

<---a pint? hell yeah, manning deserves one.

Air-to-ground rocket men flog top-secret mobe-crypto to Brad in accounts

ukgnome
Joke

Re: James Bond..

Does Q improve ducks too?

First, servers were deep-fried... now, engineers bring you wet ones

ukgnome
Thumb Up

This isn't the first time I have heard of this.

A chemist friend of mine that studied ad Durham University worked on something similar in his undergrad days. His PC sat in a fishtank of blue gunk

Apple patents situational awareness for oblivious fanbois

ukgnome

There is an android weather app that uses the pressure sensor - the pressure data is uploaded to the cloud "pun intended) so that weather boffins can use the data to better detect trends etc.

New social network is for DEAD PEOPLE

ukgnome
Trollface

Dead people are anything but social, unless you call PPI phone calls social.

PPI call centre agents are dead aren't they?

Symantec reports early Stuxnet variant first went live in 2005

ukgnome
Trollface

SYMANTEC REPORTS EARLY STUXNET VARIANT FIRST WENT LIVE IN 2005

Shouldn't that read

SYMANTEC REPORTS IT HAS BEEN INEFFECTIVE AGAINST STUXNET AND OTHER MALWARE VARIANTS SINCE 2005

Elon Musk: 'Fudged' NYT article cost Tesla $100m

ukgnome
Trollface

I have seen all kinds of cars in a pickle - from Ferrari all the way down to Reliant.

All manner of ages and all manner of faults, and I haven' been put off buying any car because of that.

Tens of millions? Probably the amount of people that think Musk is a twazzock!

It begins: Six-strikes copyright smackdown starts in US

ukgnome
Devil

How can it tell that the torrent infringes copyright?

Does it download the torrent itself and then compare it to an actual film \ music file?

Because isn't reproducing any part of copyright material an offence.

Boffin shows pics of germs grown on SPOTTY STUDENTS' MOBES

ukgnome

North Korean citizens told: Socialist haircuts are a thing... go get some

ukgnome
Windows

What about Beards

I couldn't live in a dictatorship if I had to shave, I haven't seen my chin for twenty years.