* Posts by ukgnome

2085 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jun 2011

'Every little helps'... unless you want email: Tesco to kill free service

ukgnome

But why though

but why use a stock photo of a Sainsbury shopping trolley

What's silent but violent and costs $250m? Yes, it's Lockheed Martin's super-quiet, supersonic X-plane for NASA

ukgnome
Devil

@ChrisC

I have upvoted you because you have made it sound rather splendid - however this doesn't mean I don't think you are an utter bastard.

We put Huawei's P20 triple-lens snapper through its paces

ukgnome
Thumb Down

Those bananas look terrible!

Danish Navy expert finds no trace of exhaust gas in private submarine

ukgnome

Worse things happen at....no wait....erm...I got nothing.

Furious gunwoman opens fire at YouTube HQ, three people shot

ukgnome

Re: Of all places

Of all places??? what a dumb statement.

Cali has quite a lot of guns and quite a lot of gun ranges. Getting a handgun is quite simple, anyone says it isn't obviously hasn't visited. Heck when I was over a couple of years ago I was sihned in as a guest to a club so that I could play - technically that wasn't allowed but it never seemed to worry the club.

So many folk mentioning the AR - and rightly so, but this wasn't a shooting with an AR this was with a hand gun. This person could of been licensed for years before deciding to shoot up youtube.

I know it's an emotive debate amongst some people - the bottom line is guns are fun, they go bang loudly and you don't need to be skilled to operate them. that doesn't make them OK

What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

ukgnome

Microshite cuntburgers!

Brit retailer Currys PC World says sorry for Know How scam

ukgnome
Trollface

Wow such value for money

Office junior had one job: Tearing perforated bits off tractor-feed dot matrix printer paper

ukgnome

Office junior had one job: Tearing perforated bits off tractor-feed dot matrix printer paper

Huh? Hadn't they heard of a trimmer and burster.

**ahh happy memories of the data control boys Gypo and Duncs

Cyborg fined for riding train without valid ticket

ukgnome

@TRT

thanks a lot!

You have no idea how scared I still am of that bloody robot.

ukgnome

Re: Logans (Transit) Run

And now I have the fear in mine.

I'm that old I skipped carousel and now I am living in an office full of cats.

ukgnome

@AC

I have to agree with you - mainly from the great unbadged.

Yes we have to start commentarding somewhere, and yes El Reg is quite a good (cruel) training ground. But I have to say that some comments of late seem to lack even the basics.

After repeated warnings Facebook bans Britain First for 'inciting hatred'

ukgnome

@cornz 1

"A group of Christians shouting "Allah is a twat" would be enough to have them beheaded by members of the local Mosque."

No, no it wouldn't. The vast majority of Muslims would think you have said something idiotic and offensive. But not idiotic and offensive enough to incite beheading.

Just like saying Jesus Christ is a cum sucking slut would be enough to make most christians think it was something idiotic and offensive.

The fact is a minority of muslims and christians and jews, a swathe of buddhists and a smattering of people that worship the old one and a chap called Simon all rise up when they hear something they disagree with and start getting a bit stabby.

ukgnome

but but but

Where will I go to dip my toe in the cesspool of humanity now?

Oh the daily mail is still there.....erm yippee

Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

ukgnome
Pint

RIP

Rest In Particles

British clockwork radio boffin Trevor Baylis terminally winds down

ukgnome
Pint

By all accounts a top gent and a genuine boffin.

Crunch time: Maplin in talks to sell the business

ukgnome

The secret to Cat5 at maplins is have the cable taken from the spool and get a couple of terminals - then pass to the man in the components booth - he will crimp your ends for a fraction of the prepackaged price.

UK mobile customers face inflation-busting price hike

ukgnome

yeah it sucks - but compared to the USA providers it's not that bad

BOFH: Turn your server rack hotspot to a server rack notspot

ukgnome

You have to go through a few pubs before you reach pub g, no wonder PFY got beaten so easily.

Arrrgh! Put down the crisps! 'Ultra-processed' foods linked to cancer!

ukgnome

Dear Science

the 1980's called and wants its research back.

Robot cars will kill London jobs – but only from 2030, say politicans

ukgnome

2 birds one autonomous stone

Simple - if all cars have a man sat in them then there is someone to blame when it crashes into a queue of nuns waiting for a bus. Until that happens the man has a rather easy job.

Roses are red, Kaspersky is blue: 'That ban's unconstitutional!' Boo hoo hoo

ukgnome

@fluffybunnyuk

Somebody needs a cuddle

IBM declares it's the 'backbone of the world's economy'

ukgnome

What do IBM actually do these days? Well aside from laying off swathes of 'proud' staff?

Anyone?

Yes, Assange, we'll still nick you for skipping bail, rules court

ukgnome

No - dropping off a USB stick to him does though.

ukgnome

maybe his mate Farage could assist?

World+dog ignores Rubin's Wonderdroid

ukgnome

Re: Model number PH-1 suggests 'a wider home automation ecosystem'?

Maybe it's just an acid test

Vodafone boasts 200Mbps with 4G mini mast in Cornish trial

ukgnome

Re: Easier solution

What absolute tosh Craigie

I live in a rural area, a picturesque norfolk broads village and Vodafone is the only provider that gets anything close to a good signal.

There are many factors at play when it comes to mobile phone masts. If we all took your advice then the farms and forests would be a lot quieter.

EE unveils shoebox-sized router to boost Brit bumpkin broadband

ukgnome

Post Code Lottery

I am sure this is fine if you live in cumbria and the local mast is up to it.

But if you live in one of the many picturesque norfolk broads villages then you can forget it - I get better coverage on Vodafone in an NR13 area than any other provider - VODAFONE FFS

Peers approve Brit film board as pr0n overlords despite concerns

ukgnome

All that is going to come of this is shared content on apps like snapchat and whatsapp, or multiple copies of files on USB.

If you create a barrier under the guise of protection what you will actually get is the reverse.

The only difference between today's teenage rites of passage and mine is that porn will be saved on USB sticks before hiding them in bushes.

Accused Brit hacker Lauri Love will NOT be extradited to America

ukgnome

This is why we have one of the worlds finest legal systems.

Cox blocked! ISP may avoid $25m legal bill for letting punters pirate music online

ukgnome

go for OJ

Well if the glove fits..... wait what

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

ukgnome

Wazzock!

A true hipster would serve this fusion delicacy on a dutch hoe with a plant pot of gravy as a chaser.

I am not a hipster, instead I would take this foul affront to northern cuisine and post it to their head office, however before I do I would crap in a piping bag and write a bespoke message that would simply say - Wazzock!

Borked bog forces flight carrying 83 plumbers to bug out back to base

ukgnome

to the airline

Slow hand crap

UK's iconic Jodrell Bank Observatory nominated as World Heritage Site

ukgnome

Re: This place has ****ing had its day

the Register and its commentards as I believe they are called, are just a bunch of dicks

Ha loser - My name isn't Richard!

ukgnome

World Heritage Site?

How disappointing - Sure this should be a galaxy heritage site.

Dodgy parking firms to be denied access to Brit driver database

ukgnome

Re: Petty Speeding

Yes yes that's all well and good, but what has this got to do with dodgy parking firms?

ukgnome

Depends on the type of ticket dear fellow.

ukgnome

With these heavy handed idiots you just have to ignore the PCN. Or better still send then a completed template from one of the many sites such as

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/private-parking-tickets

Never pay these arse clowns

Well done, UK.gov. You hit superfast broadband target (by handing almost the entire project to BT)

ukgnome

Re: Exchange-only lines?

Not strictly true - My house is XO as I live in a quiet norfolk broads village. Our sub-exchange looks after about 500 homes and businesses. For the last three years we have been on the basic copper line that manages on a good day about 8mbs.

Then after xmas something incredible happened - I was looking to jump supplier and BT claimed it could get me fibre - Now it has to be said that they failed (or rather openreach) the first go live day, but a week later my router went blue and all independent speed checks show the line running at between 50-52Mbs

BT dreams do come true

Julian Assange to UK court: Put an end to my unwarranted Ecuadorean couch-surf

ukgnome

bail dodger scum

Turn yourself in - let the UK process you then fuck off.

Camels disqualified from Saudi beauty contest for Botox-enhanced pouts

ukgnome

Well at least....

it was only pout enhancing and not their toes.

Murdoch to Zuckerberg: Cough up cash, nerd

ukgnome

It's like he forgets about his advertising revenue when people click on this despicable mans links.

The Reg visits London Met Police's digital and electronics forensics labs

ukgnome

Re: Extra-terrestrial help

That is clearly not the Doctors TARDIS - the windows are wrong.

Two things will survive a nuclear holocaust: Cockroaches and crafty URLs like ғасеьоок.com

ukgnome
Trollface

Re: Fix it in-browser

(b) anything that doesn't have a standard TLD

But how will i know i am getting the good porn if xxx is blocked.

Private submarine builder charged with murder of journalist

ukgnome

Nah - I still think he's innocent.

Just a few unfortunate events, could happen to anyone really.

Except the stabbing thing as a sexual thrill maybe, but only because I have never tried it.

Amount of pixels needed to make VR less crap may set your PC on fire

ukgnome

Surely you want VR to look a bit off

Other wise eXistenZ becomes real.

UK taxman has domain typo-squatter stripped of HMRC web addresses

ukgnome

As AC stated - the difference is these squatter sites work. It's funny because it's true.

Maybe HMRC / government should advise that if it isn't .gov.uk then it isn't them.

Ecuador tried to make Julian Assange a diplomat

ukgnome

But we are paying for it. In 2015 the policing had already ran into ten million quid.

While the little twerp is in the embassy building he is still actively involved in his grubby little leaking. Kick the bond baddy wannabe out.

ukgnome

This joke has run on for far too long.

Just pop in the embassy (which they can do)

March his arse out and arrest the bail skipper.

Fine and imprison him and then put him on a plane to Ecuador.

BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

ukgnome

I "might" of snotted up my keyboard - thanks

Q: How do you get YouTube to stop funneling ads to your vids? A: Make jokes next to a dead body

ukgnome

I wonder

Just how much money did YouTube make out of that video and have they donated the money to a charity that helps vulnerable people?

If they haven't they are shit!